Outcasting English
by Xenanutra
Summary: "I cannot wait to see the day when your rotten carcass will be stripped away by the hungry mouths of worms." If there was one thing Phillip Pip Pirrup knew, it was that he really knew nothing at all. DIP. Not your normal lovey-dovey slash. Mature.
1. Impetus

Before Note:

**I guess if you never read my old one you can skip the b/n if you want. :p **

Well yeah… It's been a while. I originally started this story in 2005. 4 years ago and when I was only 14. D: No wonder I'm embarrassed when I read my old chapters, but anyway I randomly felt the need to start this story over because it's been an idea in my mind since well, 2005. I now have my own lap top so I can write whenever I can so I might be able to update every now and then. No promises though. Anyways, just so you know I hope one day to make this an original piece of work (with my own characters etc.), but first I wanted to see if the plot was generally good so I'm putting it on here. Which means revvviiiew please. If you like it reviews motivate me. Anyways. I hope you enjoy this new and improved version of The Sad Story Of An English Outcast.

Disclaimer: I own nothing except the idea and my own words. The original characters have nothing to do with my own imagination.

Warning: Course language and gay and violence and blah blah blah…

Impetus:

I've hated my accent since I moved to this cursed country. America the beautiful, land of dreams. What a crock. More like the land of my nightmares. I moved here about ten years ago at the tender and impressionable age of seven. My aunt and uncle adopted me and decided that the dark and dank depressive setting of London might remind me too much of my parents. It's actually their fault that my accent hasn't disintegrated into a hybrid mutant baby of a Midwestern drawl and English inflection. Their stark accent that I hear daily keeps the edges of the speech of the other citizens of Colorado away. Thus my plague is kept in a pristine and complete state.

Ever since I moved here from my homeland I have been the object of bullying by the hillbilly-esque people of South Park. This small town, untouched by most of suburbia and liberal ideas, has strict views that have been passed down by many generations of inbred villagers. If you weren't born here you didn't belong. If you didn't look or sound like us, you were an invader and are to be treated as such. This close minded view hasn't escaped the latest generation of assholes. My peers, even though I've lived here for ten years, still consider me an outsider and apparently want to run me out of town like a bank robber from an old western. They are the reason that my life has been a living hell. Even today…

"Hey, hey, heyyyyy, Pippy," Cartman stumbled over and sat his fat ass in the chair next to me. Even in the horribly fragrant cafeteria I could still smell old cheap cologne and B.O radiating off of his enormous body. He grinned impishly and leaned toward me in a friendly manner.

"What?" I replied in a monotonous, bored tone while trying to ignore him and eat the rest of my greasy, nasty concoction that the lunch lady liked to joke around and call soup. I shifted my eyes from his jumbled, braced teeth and concentrated on the 'peas' that were floating around in the brown liquid.

"Well, that's not a very nice way to talk to your friends, Pippy," his smile faded into a smug smirk, "Quit eating and talk to us." He pointed his bulbous thumb at Kenny, a tall, scrawny guy who always looked like he was trying to disappear in an oversized hoodie and baggy, ill-fitting clothes, that snuck up behind me and stood directly behind my chair.

"Yeah, Pip. That's no way to treat me. Especially since I _like_ you." Kenny snickered as he leaned above my head and shoved his pelvic area into my back. A shiver ran down my back and I reacted involuntarily. I threw my spoon full of soup into the air, which tumbled perilously in slow motion until, of course, it landed on Cartman's heaving man boobs.

_Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuuuuck._

_ Ha. Straight for the cleavage._

"What the fuck man?!" He sneered as he took the spoon and threw it at my head. He stood up abruptly and grabbed my collar as I heard a hush come over the cafeteria. _Great. Everyone is staring at me getting the shit beat out of me. _I winced as I braced myself for the impact of his fist but, it didn't come. After a few moments I finally grew the balls to peek at my transgressor. He had a huge grin on his mug and then he winked. "I wanted you to see my face as I beat the shit out of you." And then boom. Impact. Bright stars and little baby Chiclets blurred my vision as I passed out.

* * *

_Oh fuck. My eye hurts like hell._

_I'm sure hell hurts way worse than a black eye._

_ Uhhh…Where am I?_

_ Open your eyes and see, dumb shit._

My eyes crept open slowly- or rather one did. My left eye didn't cooperate with my nervous system's pleads. When my right one adjusted to the light I could make out the dusty tiled roof that belongs to South Park High School. I sat up and the world whirled around me as if I was on a roller coaster. _Fucckkk. _After a few eternities of lying perfectly still, I dared to sit up to avail. I shut my eye to prevent another tilt-a-whirl ride and then opened it to recognize myself sitting in the nurse's office. I sat for a few moments gaining my bearings of what happened and then brought my fingers up gradually, gently touching my left eye. Big mistake.

_Shit man! My eye! What the fuck happened to it?_

_ Hmmm… You don't remember?_

_Uhhh…not so much._

_ Forgetful twit. Cartman just punched you for sexually harassing his tidies with a hot spoon._

_ Ummm… Okay… I remember now…Oh shit._

_ What?_

_ He's gunna beat the living piss out of me when he sees me._

I bolted up, which was a mistake. The world went upside down, and sideways, and inverted, and it finally landed on black and white for a few seconds, as if my normal eyesight was a prize on a spinner. _Oh crap._ I fell backward suddenly and sat with my back against the wall with my eyes closed for a few moments to recuperate.

_He did a number on me this time…_

_They could have done worse, ya know, you sniveling wimp._

_Whatever. I don't think they could do worse than bashing me up._

_Heh. That's what you think. That Kenny kid seems to like you a lot, you know._

_No, no I don't. He just likes messing with me like Cartman._

_That's what you think._

_Yeah, right. I think I'm going to try and get up now._

I peeled my good eye open and leaned forward slightly, testing myself. I seemed fine, so slowly leaned into a standing position. I stood still to make sure I wouldn't collapse and then made my way around the bend that separates the recuperation beds from the main nurse's office.

"Mrs. Fitzpatrick?" I queried as I came around and saw no one residing behind the nurse's desk, "Hello?" I popped my head out of the threshold to see if the nurse was inside the adjacent corridor. She wasn't there, so I went over to her desk to look how long I was knocked out. On her desk sat an old school clock which I snatched up. _1:30. 1:30!_ I had been out for at least an hour and a half. _Shit. I'm so weak…_ As I sat down the time piece I noticed a bright neon green post-it note with Phillip scrawled in big cursive letters. I picked it up and stared at it until my one eye could focus on it:

"_**Phillip**__**!**__** I didn't know when you were going to wake up so I entrusted you to your little friends, Cartman and Kenny, who brought you to me, while I went out to an emergency. I'm sure they will take good care of you while I take my leave! –Mrs. Fitzpatrick.**_"

_Cartman… and Kenny? What the fuck is this? What is she thinking! They brought me here because they did it! Where are they?_

_ They must have something planned for you._

_ Like what?_

_ Kenny likes you quite a lot._

_ What the hell is that supposed to mean?!?!_

_ Heh. Maybe if you stay here very much longer you'll find out._

_ Maybe I should leave?_

_ Psshhh. Duh._

_ But I can't go to class. 5__th__ period is now and I share that with both of those ass-holes!_

_ You can always go home. It's safer there._

I shoved the post-it into my jacket's pocket, busted out of the room's door, and took the left wing towards the nearest exit. _Just gotta make it through that door and then I can make it home. _

Two loud feminine voices wafted from down the hallway, "So how do you think you did on that AP exam?"

"Oh, I don't know, but I think I might have passed it."

"I hope so. I don't think I did that well…"

_Oh shit. It sounds like Wendy and Bebe. _

_ So?_

_ You know Wendy. That stuck up bitch will tell the administration if she just sees me straight up leave the building. And the administration will tell my parents. And Father will be pissed._

_ Sucks for you._

_You're no help. I'll just have to find another way out…_

I peaked around the corner and saw Wendy's curly, flowing black hair about ten inches from my face. I reeled backwards so hard that I almost lost balance and fell forward to absolute doom. _Defiantly can't go that way…The only other exit is right in front of the office and they will surely see me there._ I looked around quickly and couldn't see any other way. "OW!" I snapped my head to my left as a door flew open and hit my shoulder.

"Sorry!" Some nerdy looking kid apologized as he fled from wherever he came.

_I wonder what his problem is? Whatever… _I looked to make sure Wendy and Bebe didn't notice me. Luckily they were still talking obnoxiously loud while they hung signs up for something on some people's lockers. I shifted my eyes over to the door that hit me and saw the universal potty room sign. _The bathroom…The bathroom has windows!_ I grinned and flew open the door. The bathroom's dark interior was a stark contrast to the rest of the bright white walls of the rest of the school. It's always bothered me, but I guess, since the janitors are so lazy, they wanted a color that the crap people spread on the walls would blend in to. The bathroom was uncharacteristically dark though, so I felt around for the light switch. I flipped it on and it cast a sickly, dingy yellow light on the bathroom, the kind that made people feel pale, old, and ugly in dressing rooms. It illuminated the two figures at the same time that the overwhelming smell of smoke hit me. _Oh shit. Why? _The only people at school who have the audacity to smoke at school, the only people at school with the nerve to leave some one they beat up in the nurse's office and volunteer to take care of them, the only people in not only the school, but the whole world that I never ever wanted to see again. Of course they were in here.

"Hey Kenny, look who's here!" Cartman enthused and playfully punched the smoking Kenny in the arm. Kenny didn't say anything and just crookedly smiled around his cigarette and stared at me, frozen in front of the door. "Aren't you lucky? Come here, Pippy!"

Instead of speaking, I responded by franticly turning to open the door. "Eyyah!" The air whooshed out of me as another body pushed me up against the wall next to the door and buried my face into the nasty tile. I heard a click as the bathroom door's lock closed. _Oh my god… _The body that leaned on me finally lifted and grabbed me by my waist before it flung me around. I was then shoved against the wall again and I saw the body was Kenny.

"Cartman, hold my cigarette," He held it out as Cartman waddled over and snatched it from his hand. My face contorted to one of terror, even my bad eye opened to match my normal one's degree of wideness. "Aww, Pip don't make your pretty face ugly. It already makes me sad that asshole over there gave you a black eye." If my eyes could have gotten any bigger I think they would have just fallen out right then. Kenny was half on me and with the arm that wasn't supporting him on the wall he cupped my chin and made me look at him. "'course this scared and innocent look is pretty hot too."

All I could do was just stare at him and stand there. My brain quit working except for a voice in my head taunting me and saying: _I told you he liked you. I warned you. I told you._

He leaned his pelvis on to me and I noticed something more pushing on me. A blush betrayed me by over taking my face. He smiled, "Yes, indeed. That look is wonderful on you. And it seems you like this also."

"Ughh?" Was the only sound that I could utter.

"Hmmm? Is something stuck in your mouth? Let me check for you…" He leaned down to me, put his nasty mouth on mine, and then forced it open with his tongue. My senses came back to me at once and I tried to shove him off of me. He pulled away and stared at me like I was the crazy one, "What?"

"Stop! I don't want your filthy hands on me!" I spit out in a ragged voice.

"Hah. Yeah right," he grabbed my crotch, which was also betraying me, "It seems your little friend there wants my filthy hands on it."

"No…" My blush increased and he smirked before he took my face again. I started thrashing about and kicked him in the shin a couple of times. "STOP!" I screamed again when his mouth left mine. _Maybe if I yell enough Wendy and Bebe or someone will hear me and get a janitor to unlock the door…_ "HE—"

"What the fuck do you're doing, Pip?" Kenny whispered as he threw me onto the floor. "I hope you're not trying to get us interrupted, because I'm not going to stop." He held my legs between his and then locked my arms onto the floor with his hands.

My eyes scattered all over the room as I looked for anything that could be my savior. They landed on Cartman who was standing there with a slightly disgusted look on his face. "Help? Please?"

Kenny snickered and Cartman frowned, "It's Kenny's turn. I punched you and now it's his turn to do whatever he wants. I'm not going to ruin my buddy's fun, even if it is sick and disgusting." With that he took a drag on Kenny's cigarette and went into a stall.

I looked back at Kenny's face and his dark blue-gray eyes pierced mine. Kenny usually didn't express much, but his eyes always gave whatever he felt away. He leaned down slowly and his long golden hair tickled my forehead. He smiled at me and I could see that all his eyes held right now was complete and utter lust.

"I wanted for so long to do this," his smile turned in to a demonic grin, "I'll try to be easy on you. I can tell you're a virgin."

Tears started streaming out of my eyes, stinging in my messed up one. _There's no way out. My virginity is going to be taken by disgusting whore that I hate._

_ I told you. He likes you._

_

* * *

_

I relocked the bathroom door before anyone could come in and see me in my current state. I grabbed my scattered clothes off of the restroom's floor and threw them on as quickly as I could. I could already feel the bruises on my abdomen and back. My ass hurt almost as bad as my eye did. Tears were still coming out of my eyes like a torrent. I put on my shirt and went to the mirror over the sink. I was shaking and held onto the edges of the bowl for support. I stared at the image in the mirror and saw I was a complete and utter mess. My light blonde hair stuck out in random tufts and sweat plastered my bangs to my forehead, my eye was as swollen as ever and the eye bloodshot, I had a hickey already forming on my neck, and my face was tear stained. I washed it, hoping that this would make my appearance less haphazard.

_I can't believe this._

_ Well do, because it happened._

_ I was raped. By another guy. By _Kenny_. _

_ What part of 'I told you' do you not understand?_

_ You could have warned me!_

_ I did you idiot! It's not my fault you are a defenseless retard. Oh well, I'm surprised you aren't all giddy right now._

_ What! Why would I be giddy!?_

_ Well you got laid for the first time. I would be happy as fuck._

"Shut up, shut up, SHUT UP!" **CRASHHH**! My fist shattered the cheap plexi-glass mirror as a bout of rage burned through my brain. I stood there a moment, stunned by my own action and then slowly removed my hand. It wasn't cut too bad; the mirror was made to not break easily. I cringed as I picked a few beaded shards of glass out of my knuckles and then rinsed it under the tap. I grabbed some paper towels, wrapped my fist with a few, and then shoved the rest into my pants pocket. _I can't believe I did that._ I just stood there for a minute, trying to catch my breath so I could stop hyperventilating.

Once I was okay again, I went over to the farthest wall where a small window was placed about six feet in the air. This part of the school was built back in the sixties and the school couldn't afford air conditioning, so they put a window in here for air circulation and put it high so people couldn't get out easily. _Just my luck. _But I decided that on the sink my five feet seven inches could easily reach the sill. I pushed up the old-school lock and swung the window open as much as I could. The cool wind rushed in and blew my hair away from my face. It felt good and made me want to leave more. I pulled myself up so that my torso hung outside and my legs thrashed around inside, trying to propel me forward. _Great, I'm just going to have to fall on my face. _I leaned forward and lost my balance, tumbling ahead. I put my hands out in front of myself and for a second I some how managed to do a handstand before my body lost balance again and I fell on my ass. _Marvelous. Make it hurt more. _I stood up and brushed my butt off. I sighed hard and trampled forward. My feet dragged slightly due to my exhaustion, but I tried to walk as fast as I could. _I have to get out of here. Now. I need to go home._ _It's so cold outside. It feels good. It's the exact opposite of _him. _It felt as if he was smothering me… Ugg! I want him out of my mind. _

_You know one way, you glutton for pain, you. _

_Shut up, I'm in enough pain as is._

I walked down the sidewalk, earning a few weird glances as I passed people, walking the ten blocks home. I finally arrived in front of beige two-story house. I walked up the drive, went to the door, and tried to turn the knob. It didn't budge. _Damn. My keys are in my backpack, which is in the school somewhere. I haven't seen it since lunch… _I gave an exasperated sigh and fell onto the door before I slowly slid down. _I'm going to have to wait until five for my father to come home. Hopefully mother will return before he does._ My father worked in a cubicle in a dead end job, nine to five. All work and no play leaves Johnny a dull boy suits him completely. _If he saw me in this state he would be pissed. There is nothing I can do though… Its going to be a while… I should just take a nap. _It didn't take long before darkness overcame my senses and I passed out on my doorstep.

* * *

After note: Well, I hope you guys like it. I think the plot so far makes sense and everything. If I am wrong though, please tell me so I can improve before I write the next chapter. Concerning Pip's guardianship, I am aware that his sister was supposed to adopt him, but you know what? I don't care. :p Thanks for reading and please review! It helps motivate me to write the rest of the story.


	2. Incidere

Before Note: Hai you gais. Woo, next chapter! :D Sorry for such a long gap between. I've been busy with school, packing and moving, finally graduating high school, packing and moving some more, night classes, two research papers, the Sims 3, a computer crash that got rid of my word so I couldn't work on this, starting college, watching dancing shows, and overall death. Oh and yaoi. If you want me to update more often, burn all the yaoi in the world. And maybe destroy my TV. :p I'm full of excuses.

Disclaimers: I own none of these characters. Just my words.

Warning: Strong language, homosexuality, and other general deviant-ness and disarray.

Incidere:

"PHILLIP!" _Huh? What's that noise? _Something began shaking my body violently and my good eye snapped open in response. That 'something' was a mass of too much make-up, old-lady perfume, and worry. In other words, my 'mother'. She stared at me with genuine concern as her eyes grazed over my horrible appearance.

"Mother?" I finally managed to utter out in a sheepish voice.

The concern on her face mixed with outrage as she realized I wasn't dead or something. "What is going on, Phillip?! Why are you out here?! It's during school hours! How did you get here! What's going on!!!" as she yelled, her questions turned more into an indignant command. "Answer me, Phillip! Was it those bullies again?" She unfurled herself and stood there, looking down her nose at me as she angrily crossed her arms. I couldn't tell if that anger welled up from the obvious transgressions taken against me, or the fact that I was such a wimp and I am still being bullied and beat up. I folded into myself in response to that anger and started staring at the small black ant that was crawling around aimlessly on the grey pavement, its antennae swishing around rapidly, as if it was angry at me too. I squished it with the toe of my shoe. Her face softened as her pseudo-maternal instincts kicked in. She sighed and offered a hand to me. "Come on, get up. We need to get an icepack on that eye immediately." I took her outstretched hand and pulled myself up. She sighed again as I moved over and she unlocked the door. She led me through the den and into the kitchen. She threw her purse on the kitchen table and slung an icepack out of the freezer. "Here," she handed me the icepack and I tenderly put it on my left eye. I stared at the stove, which she was leaning on with her arms folded around her chest, and noticed the time, 2:43.

"What are you doing home so early?"

"I could ask the same of you," she glared at me disapprovingly before she sighed dejectedly, "Late lunch break. Things were hectic at the store today so I couldn't really get away at an appropriate hour." She was the manager of a prestigious wedding cake store and it got intense when they had to make a giant cake and deliver it in one piece or lose thousands of dollars. It was actually a high stress job with the decorators fighting over the littlest detail and the deliverers dropping five thousand dollar cakes on the pavement. She had to take care of them and fire them the second they screw up, which disagreed with her kind heart. She thought everyone should have multiple chances, but the owner had a completely different point of view. You fuck up, you're fucked because you don't have a job anymore. She had creases in her forehead from stress. Or maybe it was just from worrying and disappointment in me. I would not doubt it.

"I'm sorry."

"Whatever, its fine. Don't worry about me, worry about taking care of that shiner you got there," she tried to smile kindly, but it fell quickly. "Look, I just came here to get some money to get some lunch. You need to go upstairs and rest some from whatever happened to you," she pointed up the stairs and then took on a serious face, "Don't think you've gotten off scott free though. When I get home later you're going to tell your father what happened to you so he doesn't freak out when he sees you at dinner."

My mouth gaped open in disbelief of the punishment, "But-"

"But nothing. Look, I got to go. I'll see you later," she cut me off. She grabbed her purse, gave me a hug, grabbed some money off of the table near the door, and left.

Tears started welling up and I tried to hold the painful, stinging tears back. _Now my worst day ever is being made even more horrid. Father is going to be pissed. Maybe she will forget or something. I'll do it later. Just not today. Not today._

_Whine, whine, whine. That's all you do, Pip. Don't you ever just shut the fuck up?_

Rage washed through me like a tidal wave. _You shut up! I don't feel like dealing with you now!_ My free fist clenched tight enough that my nails cut my skin. I jumped up out of the chair, knocking it over in the process, and stormed up the stairs, fury coursing through my veins. I stomped over to my bathroom and slammed the door shut. I stood there for a moment, breathing raggedly, and tried to calm down. _He _shut up so the anger drained out of me quickly. I took a deep breath and then peered into the mirror. I was still a hot mess and felt like I had been rolling in mud all day. Showering was the best option. I turned on the hot water and let it warm up as I stripped. In the mirror I could see where the bruises were clearly formed now, along my sides, on my ass, and along my lower back. The blackish colored hand prints marred my alabaster skin like someone had taken a sharpie and outlined and colored in someone's hand. Around my neck and chest area rested a few hickeys and on my right shoulder was a big bite mark where Kenny had gotten a little overwhelmed. _He has surprisingly straight teeth…_

The weird thought shot through my head and a flush covered my face. I shook my head like the thoughts and the memories would just fall out. The water was warm enough now and I jumped in. The hot water instantly relaxed my body and I stood in the stream for a long time, just absorbing the heat and trying to heal my body like it was the fountain of youth or something. _It feels so good… It's really hot though, almost too hot… just like him… that felt good too… _My eyes flashed open as I realized something down there stirred at these thoughts and I became disgusted with myself. I hurriedly washed my hair and body as fast as I could so I could get out of that hot, hot shower.

* * *

I wrapped my waist in a fluffy burgundy towel and walked down the hallway to my sanctuary, my room. I closed the door with a sigh and just stood there, leaning on the back of the door, just breathing. The cold wood felt good against my hot skin and it calmed me down. I took a deep breath and went to rummage through my closet, pulling out a pair of baggy jeans and an old, large t-shirt. I looked over at my alarm clock and saw that it was near three; school would be ending now.

_I wonder what's going to happen now. How will Kenny and Cartman treat me now? What's Father going to say when he sees me? What should I do?_

_Curl up in a corner and die._

_ …_

_What? Why so quiet? You realize that's the only feasible option?_

_Shut the hell up._

_Nope. Not right now. I was too bored earlier._

_Go._

_What? No please?_

_Fine. Please._

_ Only on one condition._

_ What?_

_ Down the stairs, turn to the right, go through the threshold, around the table, go right, and open the second drawer next to the oven. First slot._

I opened my door, walked down the stairs, turned to the right, went through the threshold, went around the table, went right, and opened the second drawer next to the oven. Staring down, the utensils gleamed up at me, their silver color luminescent in the bright sunlight coming through the blinds of the windows. They sparkled like jewels. I felt a deep compulsion as I peered at the most dangerous of them.

_Go on. Take it._

My finger grazed the serrated edge and a chill ran down my spine. "I don't want to," I whispered aloud to myself.

_Yes you do. Don't hesitate._

"But…" I trailed off, my voice wavering and my hand shaking. A cold sweat broke out and adrenaline coursed through my veins.

_But what? Just do it. You want to feel better and for me to go away, correct?_

My good eye pricked with tears in anticipation as I picked the knife up and held it up to my face, staring at the jagged, sharp edge.

_Do it._

My mouth went into a tight, thin line and I squinted as I placed the edge of the kitchen knife to my left forearm. It stayed there for a moment before it ripped across my arm in one fell swoop. Tears formed in my eyes, but, at the same time, a wave of calmness coursed through me.

_What is this?_

I stared, wide eyed, at my arm and the thin, long line of red that was forming and brimming over.

_I've never felt this calm and well._

A bang sounded behind me and I jumped, almost throwing the knife in front of me. _Fathers home!_ I ran over to the sink and rinsed the knife off before putting it back. I grabbed a bunch of paper towels and wrapped my arm with them. I rushed through the threshold and started running up the stairs.

"Phillip," a deep, tired, gravely voice wafted up from behind me.

I slowed and looked behind me, my heart pounding, knowing I was caught. "Yes?" He wasn't behind me though; his voice was carrying from the living room around the corner.

"Do you know if your mother will be home to make dinner?"

"Uhhh…. No. I haven't seen her today."

After a moment of him not answering, I continued going upstairs, rushing to the bathroom. I ducked in and locked the door. I sighed in relief about not being caught and then gasped as I remembered my arm. I removed the bloodied paper towels and looked at the jagged line pulse blood out. I just stared at it, amazed at my stupidity, and yet at the same time happy. For the moment all I could focus on was that long, line with crimson life pumping out. Kenny and Cartman were worlds away. When a drop finally ran around to the other side of my wrist and jumped off onto the tile floor I remembered that what I did was a sad and piteous thing and that I need to fix this A.S.A.P.

I wiped all the blood off with the paper towels and then flushed them down the toilet. _No need for any more evidence than my arm itself is._ I rummaged around in the medicine cabinet and drawers until I found some gauze bandages and anti-bacterial cream. I took some toilet paper and held pressure on it until it stopped bleeding and then put the cream on. I wrapped the gauze around my arm, covering the entire cut. I disposed of anything with blood by flushing it and then hid the rest of the gauze and the cream in random places in the bathroom. _Good as new._

I unlocked the door and went down the hallway into my room, shutting its door. I looked at my left arm and the gauze just screamed, "HEY, LOOK AT ME EVERYONE! I CUT MYSELF 'CUZ I'M PITIFUL AND YOU NEED TO FEEL BAD FOR ME." I didn't really want anyone to know about this so I went to my closet, grabbed a long-sleeved black and red stripped shirt, and switched it with the one I had on. _Perfect, now it's hidden._ I smiled, feeling pleased with myself, and was about to put my Hadouken! Cd in when I heard the doorbell ring. _Who would be visiting our house? Mother is at work still and no one ever comes and visits…_Fear seized my body as the words Kenny and Cartman floated around in my head.

"Phillip!" I heard Father holler up the hallway. _Shit, shit, shit! Now father is going to see me like this AND my rapist is going to greet me at the door like he is actually wanted. _"Phillip, come here!" I sighed heavily and made my way to the front door where father was standing holding the door open.

"Yes, father?"

"I found this here when I opened the door," he said blankly and meandered back to the living room.

I just gawked at him as he turned and then took a deep breath before I mustered the courage to walk towards what awaited on the other side. I peered out and saw no one. I became confused and hung out the door looking every-which-a-way. Only when I looked down did I see my poor purple plaid backpack sitting on the welcome mat. A giant smiley face beamed up at me on a piece of paper tied onto my backpack. I picked my backpack up and clutched it to my chest as I closed the door. _What's this? And why didn't father freak out when he saw my face? Is he that used to seeing me beat up? This is the worst I ever been though…does he just not care?_ I made my way back up the stairs and to my room as I thought. I sat on the edge of my bed and then looked at my backpack. I untied the paper from it and looked at it. It had a crudely drawn ':]' smiley on the front and then beneath it in messy script it read, "For Frenchie, we should french again." My jaw dropped as I read this. _Oh my GOD, did Father read this!? Is that why he just turned away? And what audacity Kenny has to do something like this! _My face went red with anger and I crumpled the paper and threw it at my closet. "Asshole." I opened my backpack and searched in it, seeing if my wallet, phone, and mp3 player were still in it. My wallet was still in it, but upon further inspection all my money and a few 'buy one meal get one free'-like coupons were missing. My license was thankfully still in its little compartment. My mp3 player was still shoved in my math binder and phone still residing in the front pocket. _Thank god. _

I took my phone out to charge it when I noticed that there was a text message waiting to be opened. It read, "Hey Pippi. Nw I hav ur # so I can txt u all the time. :]." My jaw went slack as I looked at this horribly written text._ G-r-freaking-ate. Now he knows my number. _I clicked off the text message and what greeted my eyes made me shriek and throw my phone onto the floor. _What in the HELL was that? Was that what I think it is? _My face blushed and I bent down and picked my phone back up. My background picture wasn't the picture of a black and white swirl like it was when I had last seen it. It was now a picture of someone's penis. My face turned crimson at the sight and I hurriedly changed the photo back to the old one, deleting that one in the process. _Wow. Just wow. He took me against my will, I don't know why something like this stuns me in comparison, but it really does. I can't believe him. _With that last surprise my body felt drained completely so I decided a nap sounded good. I turned the light off, threw the things on my bed onto the floor, and passed out.

* * *

"_Pip…"_

_ "No! STOP IT!" His hands wouldn't stop touching me…They slowly worked their way downwards even as I struggled. His mouth tried to suck my soul out of mine and his hands ravaged me before he became comfortable. _

_ "Pip…I've wanted this for so long…"_

_ "No! Please… stop…please…I…beg…" _

_ The room suddenly spun around me, the dark scene began having holes of light rip it apart until everything was a bright white. I suddenly felt safe and a sense of well being over came all my previous feeling. I was clothed again, in black pajama like clothing, and all my cuts, bruises, and pain were gone. "Where… am I?"_

_ "Safe," a voice emanated behind me. Its sound was what angels must sound like, a deep tenor._

_ "Safe?" I whispered as I turned slowly to look who this angel was and was greeted with a sight I didn't expect. What stood there was not what obviously sounded like a man, but a child. The child had deep blue-black hair that framed his ivory face and blood red eyes and he was also wearing the same black pajama like clothing. His eyes burned into mine and something clicked in my brain. "I…I know you…" My brain flipped through images of faces and people that I had seen in my short seventeen years and finally landed on a page from my tenth year of life. "I…I know who you are…" The child just kept staring at me, but now with a glimmer of amusement flickering around his eyes and they seemed to taunt me, saying something like 'Oh, do you now?'_

_An old memory surfaced in my brain, I was crying over in a distant corner of the playground, another kid had made fun of my accent earlier, and someone walked over to me, stopping in front of my feet. When I looked up I saw a pair of terrifying red eyes peering back at me._

"_Your…you are…Damien?" I stuttered out, "But… but how? I don't understand…" He grinned, but didn't answer. "Aren't you?" His grin disappeared and he started waving at me. "Wha-"_

_Everything went black, like I'd been thrown into a black hole; there was absolutely nothing there, not even light. It was just me. "I'm sorry, but I can't keep you," the voice that spoke earlier, whether it was Damien or not I didn't know, barley reached my ears, its sound muffled and garbled slightly. _

"What?"

"Its time to wake up, Phillip, that's what. And I don't appreciate such a rude question from someone who skipped school."

"Huh?" My eyes cracked open slowly and I saw the blurry figure of a person above me. _But when did my eyes close?_

"Come on, its dinner time. Wake up," the person said. As my eyes woke up the image became crisper and I realized it was mother peering over me and that I was in my room, not the white nor the black room. _What happened to the other rooms? Where was I? Was it just a dream?_

"Uhh… right. Ok…" Disoriented, I sat up and mother left the room. I just sat there a moment, gaining my bearings, before I looked at the clock and saw that four hours had passed. _Have I really been out that long? It feels like I have only been asleep for five minutes. It feels like I've been hit by a truck._

_Of course you do. You've got bruises from Kenny, a black eye from Cartman, a busted hand from your little temper fit in the bathroom, a giant cut from your own pitiful self, and, lets not forget, you had something shoved up where nothing should ever have something shoved in. _

_You said you would leave me alone!_

_What? Did you think that I meant forever? Ha, you'll never be alone._

_But…_

_You should be happy that you'll never be alone. Most people would be._

"Phillip! Dinner!" Mother yelled at me from the base of the stairs and I went down to meet her. We started to walk to the kitchen together and we talked as we went. "So did you tell your father?"

"Well… not really, but he already saw me," I answered while looking down, hiding my face from her eyes which were trying to pry into mine.

"Oh… well… I guess you don't have to if he already saw you. What did he say?"

"Nothing really…"

"Oh," she said, regret laced into her kind voice.

_Father doesn't like you. Even she knows._

_Ssshh. _

"I still want to hear what happened to you later, after dinner when your father has gone to watch TV. We can do the dishes together," she put on a kind smile but her eyes still held worry and regret. _I wonder if that regret is because of father or because she wishes she never adopted such a fucked up kid._

_I'm putting my money on the fucked up kid thing._

I sat down at the table, next to father who was already seated. He already had his food and was eating it with as much gusto as a snail. As my mother sat down my plate in front of me I could see why he was basically trying to get it down. It was pork chops and mashed potatoes. It sounded innocent enough but, unfortunately, mother was a horrible cook, and even more unfortunately, that was the worst meal she made. What was most unfortunate though was that I detested most meat, even if it tasted good to everyone else. I stared at it and poked it until mother sat down with her plate, upon which I pretended to eat the mashed potatoes. _Blehh, too salty. _

_Why would you add salt to mashed potatoes?_

_I don't know…_

I shoved some into my mouth even though it was disgusting and I wasn't even hungry. Mother started eating the food and then gave me a tentative smile, knowing the food wasn't very good. I smiled back at her reassuringly even though we both knew the truth. Father dug into his slightly charred pork chop and ate it relatively fast; it must taste better. I cut off a tiny corner and chewed on it slowly, trying to waste time. I need for everyone to finish first so they don't notice me throwing it all away. Father finally gave up on the last of what seemed like it used to be a pork chop. He got up and went back into the living room to stare at the television, probably wishing the perfect sitcom family was his, not this dysfunctional one with a pathetic kid and a wife that is the main breadwinner. As mother started finishing up, I realized I had no clue what to say to her about my day. _Shit! I can't tell her what really happened…Maybe I can just tell her I got into a squabble with some of the bullies at school._

_Or you could tell her the truth. _

_No! I can never tell anyone the truth. That's too embarrassing. I'm a guy who got raped by another guy._

_You could always tell and get them in trouble._

_No, I already said I can never tell anyone._

"Phillip," mother addressed me and I looked up from my 'food', "You look like your done eating. Can you come help me now?" She smiled at me sheepishly.

"Uh, sure," I got up, scraped my plate and put it in the sink.

"You didn't eat much," she said as she tossed me a dish towel and then started washing the dishes.

"I wasn't very hungry," I started drying and putting up all the dishes she washed as she began drilling me.

"So… what happened to you today?"

"Well…" I paused.

"You know you can always tell me anything, Phillip. I love you, you know."

I blushed, slightly embarrassed by the forward statement, "Yeah, I know."

"So, tell me about your day from the beginning till now. I miss the days when you came home and told me all about what happened that day."

Guilt ebbed in me as she remembered that. I used to be very close to her when I was little; she was my new mother when I missed my mommy with every fiber of my being. "Um, well I went to English and we worked on our research papers, then I went to math and we did useless math, then in anatomy we learned about the bones, and then I went to lunch…" I broke off, unsure of what to say.

"Then? What about after that?" She looked over at me as I pretended to be absorbed in scratching a speck of food off of a plate.

"Well… some bullies started to mess with me and we… uh, got into a fight. And after I got beat on some I decided to go home so they would leave me alone and I wouldn't have to deal with the teachers or other students…"

"Oh…" She froze and just looked at the water for a moment, "So I take it you don't want me to report it?"

"No, I don't."

"You know, you shouldn't really just let those guys mess with you like that," she turned to me with pleading eyes and reached out at me, wet hand and all. I shrugged it away and sadness tinged her eyes. "I think I should report it anyways." She turned to go to the phone and I grabbed her shoulder.

"No!" She turned around and looked at me strangely, "I mean… I started it, so I would be the one to get in trouble."

She just stared at my face, searching for any clue that I was lying. "Ok then. I'll keep quiet. But don't let it happen again. And go put ice on your eye, it's swelled more since I saw you last. I'll finish up the dishes." She turned back to the dishes and I did as she said, obliged that she didn't investigate further. I grabbed a bag of peas and gingerly put it on my eye as I went back up to my room. I closed my door and put some sleep clothes on, deciding to turn in early. I remembered the dreams I had earlier though and decided to ditch the sleep plan for as long as I could. I grabbed some of the homework that I had from my morning classes out of my backpack and turned on my radio. "I got my swim trunks and my flippie-floppies, I'm flipping burgers, you at Kinko's Straight up flipping copies!" blared out of my radio and on second thought I turned it off. I sat on my bed trying to figure out what in the hell 'x' was and soon, even though I didn't want to, I passed out on top of my homework.

* * *

After Note:

*Lyrics to "I'm On a Boat" belong to The Lonely Island.

Does anyone else still like that song? XD

And again sorry for how slow I am updating. I'm just starting my second week of college so I don't know if that will get in the way, but so far everything has been easy and I've had a bit of free time. I just got to get down to it and do it. When I actually start writing I can write a whole chapter in a night or a couple of nights in bits. I seem to do best with the latter because I have more time to think, not that I actually plan anything out. I just write what my brain spews out. :p I know, very professional. But in this story I actually wrote notes! XD They help guide me through the story and will help my story not become conflicting. I hope. Oh, and if anything doesn't make sense or conflicts with something mentioned earlier, call me out on it. I don't mind and won't get mad. I don't really reread what I wrote so I don't notice that some things are messed up. Yet again professional, I know.

Anyways, please review, it motivates me! And thank you so much for reading, it means a lot to me and I hope I can dish out a new chapter now that my life is more stable.


	3. Onus

Disclaimers: I don't own anything except for my words.

Warnings: Foul language, homo-ness, violence, and other things your grandma would blush at. :3

Onus:

_ I was in the black room again. My eyes searched with all their strength for any light and I stumbled around a bit, my arms flailing around searching for walls or objects. I quickly discovered that this wasn't a room because it apparently has no walls. "Where am I?" I stopped searching and went rigid as I felt a presence behind me. "Who's there?" I squealed as something touched my upper arm, presumably a hand. It strangely made the skin it touched, even through the cloth, burn slightly. Somehow it was not unpleasant, though._

_ The presence pulled on my arm gently and started leading me in a different direction. "Don't worry. Come with me," the presence said and I realized it was the voice from earlier._

_ "Damien?" My query was answered by silence and all of a sudden I felt the hand let go of my arm. "Wha- hugh!" The air was knocked out of me as a force pushed me forward. I braced myself for landing on the floor, but nothing touched me and the sensation of falling continued. I began to panic, but then, all of a sudden, my senses were flooded with a feeling of well being and comfort. The world began to light up and the darkness retreated. The white whooshed towards me and then I stopped with a thump against the ground. Instead of feeling pain like would normally happen when you fell from God knows where, I was able to sit up and felt fine._

_ I was in the white room again. I looked over beside me and the raven haired boy was standing there, peering down at me, his eyes full of interest. "What?" The boy smiled coyly and anger began to replace the good mood I had. "Are you Damien? Damien Thorne who used to go to South Park elementary and tried to kill me in the fourth grade? The spawn of the devil?" The smile left the boys face but his eyes kept the look of intrigue. I went to get up and he put his arm up, pointing to my left. When I stood I looked over there and saw a huge white table full of food. All kinds of food, it looked like a banquet for a king. _

_ "I could sense you were hungry," the voice from earlier said from behind me. I turned around to see if it came from the boy but he wasn't there. "I gathered any food I could think of, I didn't know what you would like," the voice came back from the direction of the table and I saw the boy there, holding a plate out and looking at me expectantly._

_ "How did you…You know what? I'm not even going to bother," I walked over to him and the table and took the plate from him. It was elegant white china plate with black swirls emblazoned on the rim. The pale boy looked up at me and gestured towards the food. "How do I know its ok? That this isn't some sort of trick?" The boys face took on an 'oh, please' look and his eyes glazed with annoyance. "Fine…" I was hungry anyways. _

_ The table had what looked like any food you could ever want on it. My mouth began to water as I grabbed a bunch of fruit and chocolate and put it on my plate. I sat down in the huge white chair that was positioned at the end of the table and took a bite of a peach. "Oh my God," I uttered and took another bite. This had to be the best thing I've ever eaten in my life. I hurriedly ate everything on my plate, it all tasted wonderful._

_ "So I see you like sweet things. I must remember that," the voice whispered into my ear from behind me. I went to turn my head but hands restrained me. I panicked slightly and began to thrash around but the voice shushed me. "Shhh, calm down Pip. I won't hurt you. I can't talk to you if you can see me. I will let go if you promise to not look behind you." I nodded and the hands removed themselves. "Good. Now don't turn into an Orpheus on me. If you look back there will be severe consequences. But don't be afraid, nothing bad will happen if you do as I say." _

_I nodded, slightly frightened. "Are you Damien?"_

"_You are determined, aren't you? I'm surprised you remembered me."_

_I gasped in surprise, "W-what do you want? You aren't going to k-kill me are you?"_

_I heard soft laughter from behind me and I went rigid as scared adrenaline started to surge through me. "Ha, no. I can't blame you for thinking that way after our first experiences together though," his laughter settled and his voice changed to a serious tone, "I want you to open your mind and forget the past because your future is going to change dramatically."_

"_W-what?" My chest went tight as my fear worsened._

"_Tomorrow everything will change," the voice paused, "You must promise me something. Promise me you will say yes."_

"_T-to what?"_

"_Just promise me."_

"_I-I-"_

"_Promise!" The voice got louder and sounded more like it was demanding me._

"_I… I p-promise…"_

"_Good," the voice said and a pair of arms went around my back and to my front. I panicked for a second but then I realized the arms weren't trying to kill me, they were hugging me. Bewilderment overtook me and I fought the urge to look back. The arms let go and I heard a huge sigh come from behind me. "Shit… Looks like you have to go."_

"_What?" I managed to utter, but before I even finished the word everything went black and I wasn't sitting in a chair anymore. I was back in the black place and confusion overtook me. _

"_Remember your promise," the voice surrounded me on all sides and terror took me over along with the confusion. What exactly was this promise entailing?_

_Short staccato beeps started sounding around me and the black place started swimming around me, the pure black mixing with a dull light._

"_Wha… what's…_What's that infuriating beeping?" My eyes flew open and I rolled onto the floor with a wham. _Wait, what? The floor?_ My brain defogged and I realized I was sitting on the floor of my room. I looked to my right and my alarm clock was sitting there, upside down on the floor. _I must have knocked it off when I fell. _It was screeching a high pitched beeping noise so I grabbed it and turned it off. I looked at the time and I read seven a.m. It was time for me to get ready for school. I jumped up and grabbed a turquoise shirt that had some random image on it out of my closet and traded it for the one I was wearing. I looked down at my arm and saw the gauze. _Shit… _The events of yesterday came flooding back too me. I shook my head hoping the thoughts would fly out of my ears. When that didn't work I grabbed a black hoodie out of my closet and pulled it on, zipping it halfway. I pulled off my pants and changed into some tighter black denim ones.

I walked down the hallway to the bathroom and closed the door. When I peered in the mirror a disgusting image looked back at me. My eye's swelling went down but a deep blue-black remained and my cornea was blood shot. Luckily the jacket covered the bruises and hickeys on my neck. I sighed and took a comb out of the cabinet to calm down my corn-colored locks. My hair was a mess; I must had been tossing and turning all night… My dream appeared in my mind and my conversation with the voice- Damien- kept playing in my head. It was all so vivid yet elusive. I didn't know what to make of it and the promise part made a pit in the bottom of my stomach. I finished brushing and then floofed it. I brushed my teeth and then sighed again. I still looked like a mach truck hit me. Not that anyone would care.

I went downstairs to make me a bowl of cereal for breakfast but mid-step halfway down the stairs I realized I wasn't hungry. _How am I not hungry? I didn't really eat anything last night…unless…_Dread filled me and a bit of terror seized me. _That means… that dream was real? But how? It can't be…_

_Or can it?_

_But… That makes no sense… I woke up in my room. I obviously did not go anywhere…_

_Or did you? Got a little __somnambulism problem there?_

_Shut up._

_You always tell me to shut up when I'm right. _

_You are not right!_

_Just keep telling yourself that. Maybe one day you will believe it._

"Phillip?" My mother's concerned voice wafted up from the bottom of the stairs. She stood there, holding her purse and most likely about to leave for work.

"Yes?"

"What exactly are you doing?"

"Uhhh… deciding whether I wanted to eat this morning or not," I lied.

"Ohh…." She had a funny look on her face, "You just looked like you were about to rip the railing off of the stairs or something."

"Uh…"

"Are you okay?" She started to go up the stairs and I ran down to stop her.

"Oh, yes. I'm fine, mother. Don't worry about me, worry about what cake you're going to deliver today," She looked at me, trying to figure out if this was true. I faked a smile and patted her shoulder reassuringly. "Really, I'm fine, mother."

She was silent for a moment before she decided I must be telling the truth, "Okay… But if anything happens today at school or you need to tell me anything just call my cell. I'll always answer."

I nodded and mumbled, "Of course," before I took off up the stairs.

"Bye, honey! See you tonight," she yelled up the stairs before she turned and went to leave.

"Yeah, bye," I yelled behind me as I went back to my room. I looked at my alarm clock and saw that it was half past seven. _Shit, my bus is going to be here any minute! _I grabbed my backpack and shoved my cell phone in my pocket. I looked at my bureau and checked my appearance. _Yup, eye still looking like Barney. _I ran out of my room, flew down the stairs, and out the door. I ran as hard as I could down to the end of the block and saw that there were still kids waiting at the stop, meaning I didn't miss the bus. All the kids were younger than me; most people my age either drove their own car or road with a friend. I didn't have a car and I obviously did not have a friend.

"Whoa," I heard a kid gasp beside me. He was young, looked like a middle schooler, and was staring up at me with wide eyes.

"Umm, what?" I looked down at him expectantly.

"You have a pretty bad shiner; did you get in a fight or something?" He looked at me like he was trying to figure out if he should be scared of me or if I was a pansy.

"You could say that," my answer obviously confused him by the look on his face, but he didn't push any more. These kids didn't know that they were supposed to hate me yet. That's one reason I did not mind riding the bus, the kids on it did not know me so they left me alone. Plus I was protected by an adult driving the bus and a camera videoing us all the time, meaning no one would most likely mess with me.

The bus finally arrived and we all hopped on. Ten minutes later the bus arrived at South Park High, the last stop on the route. I disembarked and instantly went into high alert mode. I had no clue how anyone would act after yesterday. _Maybe no one will notice me…_

_Yeah right._

_A guy can hope._

_Yeah _a_ guy can, but you can't._

The knot in my stomach tightened and I folded my arms, trying to sink into myself. I entered the building and meandered over to my locker. I passed by all the normal cliques. The preps and cheerleaders were to my left giggling about how great the new Miley Cyrus song was, the jocks and studs to my right ogling the cheerleaders and bragging about how they scored with one of them, the Goths to the back of the hallway discussing coffee and how they missed _Invader Zim_, the nerds not far away from them talking about the new _Halo_ game, and then there are people like me, the unlucky, friendless kids just wandering around. I arrived at my locker and sat down in front of it. I pulled out my mp3 player and turned it to Patrick Wolf, one of my favorite artists.

I sat there, listening to music and trying to blend into the lockers, until the bell rang and I sighed in relief. At least that part of the day was over. I walked to my first period class, English III AP with Mr. Huguenot, trying to stay against the walls and in the corners. English was my favorite class and was the one I was best at.

I arrived there early and sat in my assigned seat, the very back corner of the left. That was my favorite place to sit; it meant that I only had to worry about the people on my right side messing with me. I don't even have to worry about that in English, no one sat to my right. It was like Mr. Huguenot read my mind and granted my prayers. I settled into my seat and got my stuff ready for class as some other kids began to flood in at the last minute.

The tardy bell then rang and Mr. Huguenot came in and closed the door. "Good morning everyone. How is everyone today?" he began as he got his things ready.

The class responded with mixes of "Fine", "Tired", and "Uggghhhh."

"Good to see everyone feels good," he responded sarcastically, "Since you all feel so great I guess you all will be excited to find out that we are going to do a pop essay today in practice for the AP test," the class groaned in unison, "I know you will all love the topic we are going to write about. It's over the literary effects over the reading we did yesterday by Zora Neale Hurston," he passed out copies of the readings and lined AP test paper. "Your time starts as soon as you get the paper and its due at the end of class. Oh and remember the judges love juxtaposition!" The mood of the class turned oppressing as everyone went "Oh shit, just kill me now" in their minds.

I didn't really mind however and began writing my introductory paragraph. I was finishing up writing a sentence about how the tree dying after Janie got raped was symbolic of her herself when a knock thudded on the door and an office aid came in. She whispered something to Mr. Huguenot, handed him a slip of paper, and then promptly left. Mr. Huguenot cleared his throat and then waved in someone.

My heart skipped a beat as a new guy walked in the room. He was absolutely gorgeous. _Wait, what? Why did that word come to mind? I was raped by a guy…but I'm not gay…am I?_ I blinked and pushed the thoughts to the back of my mind, stunned by the strangeness and intensity of them. The new kid was pretty tall, around six feet, had shining black hair that was cut in a way that covered his left eye slightly, and was wearing some tight black outfit that showed off an slightly athletic build. I looked at his face as his red eyes scanned the room. _Wait, red eyes?_ Alarm bells rang in my head as I remembered what the voice said in my head, _"Tomorrow everything will change." _

"Hey everyone this is… uh," he looked at the paper, "Damien Thorne. He's new here," _W-what? D-Damien? So it's true?_ A mix of terror and confusion overtook my body. "Hey, didn't you used to go here or something? I think I remember your name from when I was a student teacher at South Park Elementary," he looked over at Damien for an answer.

Damien looked back at him and with a friendly smile he answered, "Why, yes I did." _His voice! It was the one from my dreams! _I felt my eyes widen in slight terror until I saw him look over at me and gave me a smile. I blushed and pretended to go back to work. I didn't know how I could finish writing about some stupid story when my mind was absorbed with questions and fear.

"Well, why don't you go sit down somewhere while I go get you a copy of our current novel, _Their Eyes Were Watching God_ by Hurston. Ever read it?"

Damien's friendly smile faded for second and his eyes squinted angrily before his pleasant façade returned, "No, can't say I have."

"Good," Mr. Huguenot smiled and went to a bookshelf on the side of the classroom, "Just pick anywhere to sit and that will become your assigned seat."

Damien nodded and I felt his eyes on my head as I stooped over my desk, pretending to write. Footsteps walked down the aisle next to me and I felt his presence beside me as he sat down. _I can't look up, I won't look up, I can't…_ I focused on my paper and tried to think about it, but my mind wondered. _This can't be true… It must be just a coincidence… yeah, just a coincidence. _

_Psssh, yeah right. Do you seriously believe that? There is no way in holy hell that that can be true._

"Hey class," Mr. Huguenot interrupted my disbelief, "There isn't anymore books in my cabinet and so I'm going to go down to the book room. I trust I can leave you to your own devices and that there won't be any shenanigans going on while I'm gone," he started moving towards the door, "I'll be back in about five minutes." He turned on his heel and ran out the door like he was a criminal running away from the police.

Everyone stared at his retreating figure through the door window before someone yelled, "Clear!" and everyone started asking about what the others were writing and wanting to steal their ideas. I huddled over my paper even more and tried to finish the sentence I had started earlier, but mostly I was just panicking in my brain and chanting _it's not true, it's not true_. I heard someone clear their voice, like in preparation for speaking, to my right. The knot expanded in my stomach and I started writing furiously, trying to seem like I was busy and did not want to talk to anyone.

"Uhhh… Hi, Pip," apparently my charade didn't work and I stopped writing abruptly before I slowly sat up and looked to my right.

I could feel my eyes trying to widen with the frightened adrenaline coursing through me and I tried my best to put on a normal face. "Um, hi," I tried to not let my voice sound out of the ordinary.

"Do you remember me?" he looked slightly amused at my obvious uncomfortable-ness.

"Uh, yeah. I don't really think I can forget someone who turned me into a firecracker and exploded me," even though I felt some anger try to bubble up in that last statement, my voice came out very meek, betraying me.

"Ah, so you do," he smiled and I noticed that his canines were sharper than a normal persons and that his eyes crinkled slightly when he smiled big. _That's kind of cute…wait. What? Cute? I got to remember he's the son of Satan who basically killed me once…_His smile turned into a slightly cocky, one-sided grin like he could read my thoughts or something, "I must tell you that I'm very sorry about my past transgressions. I was an immature child who was just really coming into my… um, powers."

"Yeah…" I kind of just stared at him for a second before I started to turn to go back to my paper.

"Wait," he pulled gently on my shoulder to turn me to face him. That spot on my arm heated slightly and I felt my face betray me by blushing.

"Yes?" I looked at him wide-eyed as I mentally beat myself up about my reaction to his touch and about how I just let him do that without consequence. _What's wrong with me?_ I thought I heard someone in the back of my head say '_what isn't_?', but I had no energy for that now.

"Well," his smile faded to a look of seriousness as he brought his hand up to run it through his hair, "I was wondering if you would let me sit with you at lunch. I haven't really made any friends yet." He looked at me expectantly for an answer but when I was unable to bring myself to answer he continued on, "I hope you don't hold my past offenses against you against me. I'm not planning any sort of trick or anything. I genuinely would like to be your friend."

My thoughts raced around in my head, thoughts of terror, thoughts of longing for a friend, thoughts of confusion for my feeling for him. The thoughts of terror over won the others. "Well, I'd really like for you to, b-"

"Hey! Get to work Pip. Unlike Mr. Thorne here, you _do_ have something to do," Mr. Huguenot busted in through the door, taking me by surprise and interrupting me. Apparently I was the only one that didn't notice his figure coming up towards the door. Everyone else was fast at work, having ideas about what to write about now that they stole them from their neighbors. Mr. Huguenot walked up the aisle and I turned to my paper and pretended to write. "Here you go, Damien. I'm afraid it's quite beaten up, but most of the pages should be there. I hope," he handed Damien the novel. "You need to read it all by Friday so you can be caught up with the rest of the class. And no sparknotes. They are for helping understand it; they do not replace the text."

I heard Damien say "Yes, sir" quietly as Mr. Huguenot walked back towards the front of the room. I saw him watch Mr. Huguenot return to his desk out of the corner of my eye. He suddenly turned his head towards me and when he saw me secretly looking he smiled friendly at me, making a blush encompass my face and forcing me to stare only at my paper.

I worked furiously on my paper for the remainder of the period, trying to catch up. It was a very shallow interpretation, but I couldn't really concentrate on it. All I could think of really was about what had happened in the last few days. _This all too crazy. This can't be real. It must be some weird coincidence._

_Yeah, 'cuz that makes sense. The son of Satan just so happens to appear in your dreams and tells you that everything is going to change tomorrow, and then, bam, he's at school tomorrow. That's soooo just coincidence. _

_It's just…too much to handle._

_What, your puny brain can't handle questions of 'coincidence' and your sexuality at the same time?_

_No, it's very capable… Wait. What? What do you mean sexuality?_

_Well you very obviously see him as more than a threat to your well-being. He's making you face thoughts you locked away._

_No he is not. I have no thoughts locked up._

_Oh really, these thoughts of you secretly being gay haven't ever passed through your head?_

_Well, every guy has questions about himself at one time or another…_

_Not that many, fag._

_Shut up, I don't need to prove myself to you._

_Oh, really. Fine I'll keep quiet about it now, but don't think they've just disappeared. Anyways, it's really fun to just make fun of your stupidity right now._

_Shut u-_ "Huh?"

"Pip, the bell rang," Damien was looking down at me and shaking my shoulder gently. I felt my face burn as I sensed heat consume where he touched. Apparently everyone had already vacated the classroom and we were the only ones still in the room.

"Oh…" I put my pencil down and picked my backpack up, getting ready to go to second period. I shoved my stuff in it quickly, in a hurry. I felt very self-conscious and slightly afraid with Damien standing there looming over me. "Why are you waiting on me?" I put a little anger in my voice, trying to get him to see I did not want his presence around.

"Well, you just kind of seemed very out of it. I was concerned. I mean, look," he pointed to my paper I had been working on all class, "Its only half finished."

"Why are you concerned? You don't know me nor are you my friend," I put on the anger again even though, secretly, I was pleased he was concerned about me. _What's wrong with me!?_

The look on his face actually looked shocked to hear me say that. "I would like to be your friend." He followed me as I started to leave the room. "Hey, you left your paper on your desk," he touched my arm again to stop me and I felt my face turn into a tomato.

"Uh, thanks," I quietly said as I turned around to go get it. I was completely and utterly frustrated now. _What's wrong with me? Why am I acting weird?_

"Sure," he started to turn to the door, "I suggest you hurry; you are going to be late." I began to say that he was too as I turned to put my paper in the tray, but he cut me off. "Oh, and thanks for permitting me to sit by you at lunch today," he smiled and then winked at me.

I felt my blush come back and was so frustrated with myself that I didn't even really realize what he said until he was gone. "Wait!" I peeled out of the classroom into the crowded hallway, but I couldn't see him for the mass of people. _Why does he think I said he could sit with me? I specifically told him I didn't want him to._

_No you didn't._

_Yes I did! I said that I'd really like him too, but…But Mr. Huguenot cut me off before I finished my sentence… Fuck!_

_Ha, you really screwed up now, didn't you?_

_

* * *

_

For the next two periods my thoughts were consumed with what was going to happen at lunch. Not only was I concerned with the Damien problem, but I was reminded of the other events of yesterday during third period.

I was sitting there, trying to remember if it was ligaments or tendons that connected bone to muscle, in anatomy when I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. It surprised me; I never got texts from anyone unless it was from mother, indicating an emergency. The teacher went over to her seat after lecturing so I gathered the courage to open my phone and read it. When I opened it I had to control the impulse to throw my phone across the room like I had done the previous day. It contained a picture of Kenny. It was of him with his fingers in a 'v' shape and his tongue stuck through them. That wasn't what disturbed me the most. What disturbed me was the message under it, "Hey Pippi. Your ass should be on the other end of my tongue. :P."

So for the remainder of the period I just sat there staring at my class work, consumed in my thoughts and making the pit in the bottom of my stomach grow. By the time the bell rang for lunch I was just hoping and praying that Damien had lunch B, not my lunch period, A. I was the last one out of the classroom and walked my slowest down the hall towards the dreaded lunch room. I didn't even get all the way there before my hopes were dashed.

"Hey, Pip," I heard Damien call from behind me. I turned around slowly and saw him leaning against the lockers on one side of the hallway. He stood up and started walking towards me, "What's up?"

He looked down at me expectantly, waiting for an answer as I hesitated. _Should I just out right ask him or play it cool? _"Nothing." I decided to act like I knew nothing.

"Oh," he just kind of looked at me like he was wondering what my problem was. He shifted his weight back and forth nervously a few times before he began again, "So, let's get lunch, shall we?"

"Uh, sure."

We walked together towards the cafeteria at a normal pace before I started slowing down. My fight or flight instinct was kicking in and I felt like I could sprout wings any second now. _I can't go back in there! What if Kenny or Cartman are in there? Everyone is just going to laugh at me as they see me come in after that fiasco yesterday._

"Pip?" He turned around and looked at me strangely after he noticed I had stopped in my tracks right before the doors, "You okay?"

"I… I-"

"Of course he's okay!" I heard Kenny say this as he simultaneously slapped his hand on my mid-back, making me squeak. "He's always okay when I'm around," he grinned and then grabbed my chin and turned it towards him. He leaned in, making my heart pound in my chest and my eyes widen in horror. Random scenes of yesterday in the bathroom flashed in my head and I heard Damien gasp quietly beside me. He stopped about an inch in front of my face, "Good. Your eye seems better today," he grinned again, knowing he made me beyond uncomfortable, "Couldn't have your beautiful face be messed up forever. If that happened I'd have to punish whoever did it." He let go of my face and stood erect. "Ha, see you later, Pippi." He walked past the stunned Damien and laughed to himself as he entered the cafeteria.

We both just stood there for a moment, awkwardly. Damien broke the ice, "What, exactly, was that?"

"To tell you the honest truth," I turned to him and I saw a look of bewilderment in his eyes, "I have no freaking clue." He still looked at me confusedly so I went on, "He likes to pick on me sometimes… in very unusual ways you could say."

He still looked doubtful of my answer but he decided to ignore it for the moment, "So… You still want lunch?"

"Yeah… that sounds good." _No use being scared of the lunchroom after that._

We walked in together and meandered over to the shortest line. The cafeteria got a littler quieter when we came in; everyone stopped and stared at us before turning to their friends to talk about us. Damien didn't seem to notice though. As we moved through the line he began to talk again. "So you still get picked on?"

"Well, yeah. I guess." I looked down, embarrassed.

He was quiet for a moment. "Why?" it sounded like anger was in his voice which made me look up at him.

His crimson eyes blazed into mine and I felt myself blush involuntarily, "I-I don't exactly know… I think because I'm a freak."

My answer seemed to anger him more, "There is nothing wrong with being a freak, Pip." A feeling I couldn't identify rushed through me. _He's so nice to me… How can he be a bad guy if I feel this way?_ I felt myself blush again at my own thoughts. "You shouldn't be embarrassed," I think he mistook my blush for something else, "You've done nothing wrong. From what I've seen you may be the kindest human in this whole school." I didn't know what to say to that so I kept silent. "Who was that guy anyways?"

"Huh?" His question surprised me, "You don't remember him?"

It was his turn to look surprised now, "Should I?"

"I would think so. You kind of turned him into a platypus." He looked at me blankly, "Really? You can't remember someone you turned into a platypus?"

"I only remember noteworthy humans, like you."

I blushed again, but I tried to brush it off. "He's Kenny McCormick, the guy who only wore an orange parka for like two years. Thankfully he has more than one jacket now…"

"Oh… I think I remember him now…" We finally got to the food and he got the tray, a glob of food that was supposed to be beef stroganoff, supposed to be the operative words. He looked at me strangely when I told the lunch lady I wasn't eating. "Are you not hungry?"

"No, not really. I'm just going to get a drink and a candy bar or something." I put on a fake smile to appease him. He checked out and I got my stuff and then did the same.

"Where do you sit?"

"Over there," I pointed to a table near the windows where no one was sitting and we walked over there.

He sat beside me and started to eat as I opened my Twix and began to eat one stick. After a moment he stopped eating and turned to me, "Thanks for letting me sit by you again."

I blushed again, "O-of course…" I didn't have the heart to tell him now about this being a miscommunication. _Why was I even scared of him to begin with?_

"You don't mind me being your friend, do you?" He looked very serious and it made me wary.

"No… I guess not."

"Then you'll say yes if I ask you a very serious question?" Fear struck through me like an arrow. _How am I so stupid? How could I fall for his charm? It's just like my dream foretold! What if he wants me to sign away my soul or something?_

"Uhhh, I guess, depending on the question…" _What happens if I don't keep my 'promise'?_

"Well, I have something to ask you."

"G-go on."

"I didn't tell you why I came back to South Park, did I?"

"N-no."

"Well, I came back because Satan kicked me out of Hell. I'm forbidden to go back unless it's on his beckoning."

"O-oh, really now? Why did he kick you out of Hell?"

"We had some… disagreements… on how some things should be handled."

"Oh…"

"I came back to South Park because of this… I only have one problem. I have no where to stay while my dad cools down," he still looked dead serious, but was that fear I was seeing in his eyes?

"That's horrible…"

"I was wondering if I could, uh, maybe come stay with you at your house until this is all over… If you don't mind. I really don't have anywhere else to go and you are the only friend I have on this plane."

_Is this the question I was supposed to say yes too? This is it? Not selling my soul or some other heinous thing? _"Uhh, I really don't know," anger flashed across his face, terrifying me, "But I could ask my family if you could come stay a while. They'll probably say yes, considering you're my…uh, friend and you are in need."

"Really?" His face became animated with excitement, throwing me off guard.

"Y-yeah, I guess…"

He grinned hugely and then leaned over and hugged me. _Hugged _me. I felt all the blood rush to my face and everywhere he touched had a pleasant burning sensation. He let go and I suddenly felt cold, like I was shoved out in the snow after being in a sauna. "Thanks, Pip. This really means a lot to me. I'll have to repay you somehow, someday." He just kept smiling at me and it felt like my face had a heater blasting on it while my body was in a freezer. Damien squinted his eyes and looked at me funny, "Do you have a fever or something? Your face is blood red."

"Oh, uh, no! I don't believe so," I laughed nervously and hung my head over my food in shame.

"You sure?"

"Yes, very sure," I looked back up at him and gave a huge, fake smile.

"Ok…" He turned back to his food and pushed it around with his spork. _I don't even know how he could stomach half of that 'food'._ "Hey."

"Huh?"

"I've been meaning to ask you since this morning… Is that a black eye or did you randomly get some kind of weird pigmentation while I was away?"

"Oh," his question took me by surprise. I forgot about my eye since we started talking. "No, its not some kind of weird pigmentation or anything, it is a black eye."

"How'd you get a black eye?"

"I ran into a door knob," he gave me a look so I reconsidered my answer. "I'm just joking."

"Right," he said sarcastically, "You get in a fight?"

"You could say that."

He narrowed his eyes but decided to not press any further. "So, am I going to go with you after school then?"

"I guess. I hope you don't mind riding the bus."

"Bus? I've never ridden in one of those."

I thought he was joking, but his face was completely earnest. "I guess the son of Satan usually would ride in a limo with a driver."

"How'd you know?" I had meant that as a joke.

"Why don't you just buy a car and a house? Don't you have a limitless flow of cash from your father?" _Maybe he just wants to live in my house so he can steal my soul in the night or something._

"I would, but when he kicked me out that was the end of the limitless money. I only have like five-hundred dollars in my wallet and the clothes on my back."

"Oh… that's crappy."

"Yeah…"

"Why don't you just steal what you need? I'm sure you could just use your powers and get anything in the world you want." _He must be up to something. I mean he's the son of Satan; he wouldn't have any trouble attaining what he wants._

Anger replaced his usual cool demeanor. "I can't use them right now."

"What? Why?"

"I… I'm having trouble with them. I'm at a time in my life where I can't really control them correctly."

"W-why?" He looked pained all of a sudden.

"I'm not sure. I think it has to do with things beyond my control."

"Oh…"

"You don't have to worry though. I'm fine." He gave me a reassuring smile.

"Ok," I smiled back at him. _I don't know why, but I have a feeling everything is going to be fine. I shouldn't have worried so much._

I jumped in my seat as the bell rang, signaling the end of lunch. I put my bottle of water and the other half of my Twix in my backpack and stood up. I started to turn to walk out of the cafeteria but a burning hand stopped me.

"Hey," he turned me around, "Where should I meet you after school?"

My face was burning again from the contact but I tried to ignore it. "Ummm… I don't know…" I habitually put my index finger to my mouth and looked at the ceiling like I did when I thought about trivial things. "I guess near my locker. Number 503." I looked back at Damien. He had a huge smirk plastered on his face. "What?"

He laughed, "You just looked like it was the hardest decision you ever had to make. It was kind of cute."

"Cute?" I felt my face turn beet red again in a blush.

He smirked again before he answered, "Yeah, I guess so. Anyways, I'll see you after school at locker 503." He touched my shoulder and parted, leaving me with a searing handprint on my shoulder and a fluttering heart.

* * *

After note:

Hallo. I figured I should leave it there. :D I didn't want this chapter to be some kind of heaving behemoth so I stopped. The words in this chapter alone where about 2,000 short of the previous chapters combined. XD I hope you guys liked it. It didn't drag too much, did it?

Anywhoo, I was just wondering, is anyone reading this story? I only got one review, from Brown And Blue (XD Thanks for being awesome), for the last chapter. It's kind of disheartening. I'm not saying that I want you to stroke my ego or anything, but even just saying, "Hey, I read it, ho" would be better than nothing. Or even saying, hey that sentence doesn't make sense or a general critique is welcomed. (Especially since I don't proof read all of it and I'll leave crap that makes no sense. :P) XD I need to know if I should even bother writing this. I mean if really no one is reading it, then why bother writing?


	4. Simulatio

**Disclaimers:** I own nothing but my words.

**Warnings:** Foul language, homosexuality, violence, and sexual themes of sexiness.

**Before Note:** Unless there is something drastically disturbing or a lemon scene (Which I do not foresee happening at this time, sorry.) I will not be putting disclaimers or warnings. This is your forewarning.

Simulatio:

Locker number 503 never meant much to me. Today it meant many things: nervousness and anticipation, dread and longing, fear and... Well, even more fear. Fear of my thoughts and reactions, fear of what the future would bring, fear of the dark, looming, scary and yet beautiful figure looming in front of my locker. I walked toward the ominous presence standing in front of locker 503 and couldn't help but notice how my heart thrashed around in my chest like a caged bird being attacked by a cat. Energy surged through me, my body misconstruing the fear I felt as it would if there was a predator present. _Of course, knowing him, he might be. _

I felt hyper now, but it was tainted by dread swimming around in my stomach, keeping the half of a Twix company. Damien was leaning against the lockers and looking down at the floor, his hair covering his face. I stared at him as I walked, trying to dissect him. His stance, arms crossed and head down, gave off an aura of depression and aggression. _He must be really upset about his current situation... I wonder if I look like that sometimes?_ He must have sensed my presence, because he pulled his head up and looked straight at me. His eyes were big and his crimson irises pierced right into mine. I felt my body shudder and I gasped._ His eyes look so... haunted. But they look so beautiful at the same time. Haunted beauty._

He kept staring but his eyes flashed and the haunted beauty went away. And I was glad. It felt like his gaze was going to rip my soul right out of me through my pupils. Someone pushed me as they walked hurriedly through and I stumbled. _When did I stop walking? _I resumed walking towards my locker, but this time I averted Damien's gaze. I was afraid to see the haunted beauty return to his eyes, afraid my soul would be ripped away.

I stopped in front of him and he smiled down at me. "Hello, Pip."

"Hey," I looked at him nervously, not sure how someone can switch between haunted-ness and friendliness so suddenly. _I wonder if he is trying to butter me up or something?_

"Your locker," he stepped to the side and held his arms towards it like he was one of the models on _The Price Is Right_.

I couldn't help but snicker at the offer, "Thanks."

"Of course," he replied.

"I want to ask you something," I turned to face him, a spur of the moment question popping into my mind.

"Sure."

"Why aren't you a twitchy little ass-hole that blows people up and wants social acceptance anymore? You actually seem kind of... nice. And why is your voice not horribly grating anymore?"

A shocked look appeared on his face but it faded into a smile. "I guess I was that... That was my first time on Earth and I was just a kid. Plus etiquette and self control lessons from Queen Elizabeth I and Buddha probably helped. And I hit puberty. That kinda changes your voice if you haven't noticed by now."

I didn't care about his voice now. "Buddha? And there is no way a dear queen is in Hell! If any queen is in Hell it's a French one."

"Yeah, Siddhartha wasn't really a God. Got thrown in Hell for hearsay. And your dear 'virgin' queen is in Hell because she had sex out of marriage. Yes she created a peace time between Mary and the others, but it was at the cost of her eternal soul." I just stared at him, jaw slack. _How could a great British Queen go to Hell? I think my little, British heart just broke. _He laughed at my horrified look, "If you keep standing there we are going to miss the buses."

I shed a tear inside for the poor queen and looked back at my locker. He waited for me as I unlocked my locker and shoved my books and binders into it. I slammed it closed and started walking towards the front entrance. "The buses are this way," I told Damien. He followed me all the way to the bus.

We got on and I went over to my favorite seat. I scooted to the inside and Damien plopped down beside me, his shoulder touching me in the process. My face went ablaze instantly. He settled in and he turned to look out the window beside me. He wasn't looking at me and I was glad. My face must have as red as his eyes because his leg and hip was touching mine, side by side. I started to feel a different feeling consume me and cloud all the other emotions I was experiencing all day. My body liked this feeling but my mind refused it so I scooted as far as I could. Even then I felt the heat emanating off of his body but it was bearable. He noticed me scoot over and looked at me funny but I pretended to be absorbed with looking out the window. Soon the bus lurched forward and we were off to my house.

We were silent the rest of the bus ride. I was pretending to watch the scenery run past and he was busy watching everyone and their interactions. Soon the bus stopped at my bus stop. "Hey, come on. This is our stop." I was about the push him gently to tell him to get out of the seat, but stopped midway. Contact with him scared me. I didn't know how I would react. We got off the bus and I started walking to my house, "It's this way."

He followed me obediently and we reached my house after a moment or so. I rummaged around in my backpack and brought out my keys. I unlocked the door and we went in. I sighed in relief. _At least I've gotten through the day without anything horribly, horribly wrong happening._ I turned around and looked at him, "You want anything?"

He smiled devilishly, "You."

"What?" I felt the look of shock on my face. That made him grin hugely.

"I'm just kidding, Pip. It's not like I'm going to rape you or anything."

A pang ran through me at the mention of that certain act even though I knew it was meant as a joke. "R-right-o. S-so, you aren't hungry or thirsty or anything?"

"No."

"Ok. Let's watch TV until mother gets home then," I threw my backpack on the floor beside the couch and sat down.

"When's your mother going to come home?" he asked as he came and sat on the cushion beside me. I felt the warmth radiate off of his body and I tried to suppress my blush along with other things.

"I-I think in an hour or so. Today is one of her early days. The bakery gets off early on Fridays." _God, he's so _close_ to me. _

"Bakery?" He shifted on the couch and his knee hit mine briefly. Heat and electricity washed through my body, catching me off guard.

"U-uh yeah. She's the manager at a wedding cake store. Which is quite ironic."

"How so?" he looked over at me, curious. His eyes stared intently at me, rubies shining with interest. I could feel the blush worsening so I looked away and stared at a lamp to the right of me.

"Because she's a horrible cook and an even worse baker." I picked the remote up and turned the TV on. Images of a cheetah chasing an antelope flashed before us.

He shallowly laughed and then watched the cheetah almost catch the antelope. "Aw, come on cheetah. You can get him!" A second later the cheetah grasped onto the rump of the antelope and sank its teeth in. "Yeah!"

"No! Poor antelope!" I gasped as he cheered. _I can't believe he'd be rooting for the cheetah. That poor antelope just wanted to eat the grass and run around. He didn't mess with the cheetah. The cheetah just picked him for no reason. _I looked over at Damien and his eyes were glued to the gory sight. His ruby eyes seemed like they were glowing and he licked his lips. His breathing was even ragged. The sight of him like that and the sounds he was making disturbed me slightly but I also felt a wave of lust coarse through me and the blood drain from my face, going down. _No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No. No! NO!_ My knuckles went white around the remote I was holding and I changed the channel.

Damien's breathing went back to normal and he sat back into the couch. He didn't say anything and soon his eyes went back to their normal shade of red. Shortly my body went back to its generally worried self, but I couldn't completely shake that last feeling. _God, please tell me it's not true. It can't be. I won't let it be._

_ It is and you must._

_ No..._

_ Face it. You're a fag._

_ No! I'm not!_

_ You like men._

_ I do not!_

_ You find Damien sexually attractive._

_ N-no I don't._

_ Oh, come on. Are you in such denial you won't admit that all you want to do right now is have Damien fuck the shit out of you?_

_ I would never want that!_

_ Right. That's why you got a boner watching him get all predatory while watching that cheetah._

_ I.. I did not._

_ Really, you're going to tell me that that scene didn't make you pitch a tent? We share the same body dumb-ass. I know how you feel._

_ S-shut up..._

_ Ha. Wow. I wonder what everyone will say when they find out about all of this._

_ What? Find out?_

_ You know, when they find out your gay. I wonder what will happen._

_ That will never happen because I'm not gay._

_ Not gay? Really, are you still believing that? I bet your Father will disown you._

_ What?_

_ He won't let some fag kid stay in his house and get his gay germs all over him._

_ That's ludicrous!_

_ Really? Because he already doesn't like you. This would just push him over the edge. He'd kick you out. It would be a sin to let you live here. You'd be blaspheming his house._

_ No! That would never happen; mother wouldn't let it happen._

_ Yes she would. She's not going to go against her husband. And she defiantly isn't going to go against God. Faggotry is a sin._

_ Well that would never happen anyways because I'm not gay... Am I?_

I looked over at Damien who was boredly watching the TV show that was on. It was some show about a girl who couldn't decide if she wanted to go out with the handsome guy with blond hair or some other handsome guy with brown hair. His red eyes were glazed over with boredom and he was completely relaxed. Even now his eyes were utterly beautiful. The glaze didn't take the shine away and it looked like someone had replaced his irises with circle rubies. He was pale, paler than I ever could be, and it looked like pure white marble. His onyx black hair was fluffy and soft looking and framed his face beautifully. My eyes scanned down him. His body wasn't buff, but it wasn't flabby either. It was _toned_. His black, skin tight sweater showed off a svelte body. His lithe legs were caught in black skinny jeans that pulled tightly over his... _Goddammit. Goddammit. Goddammit. _I felt my face blush again and lust waved through me. I pulled my legs up and sat Indian style. Then I leaned forward and laid my arms strategically on my lap, trying to cover 'it'.

_Guess that answers your question._

_ Fuck you._

Hearing Damien speak drew me from my own world. _Shit, I hope he doesn't notice._ "Can you change it to a show that doesn't make me want to gouge my eyes out in boredom?"

"Ah, yes. Right-o," I fumbled around with the remote out of frustration before I was able to change it. I put it on _Who Wants to Be a Millionaire_ and then looked at him from the corner of my eye. He noticed and smiled at me, sending half my blood to my face and half below the belt. _Goddammit!_

"Are you sure you don't have a fever? Your face is quite red," he smiled at me sweetly but his eyes sparkled and danced in amused mocking. That just made it worse. _God, he must know._

"I-I'm fine. But, excuse me, I do need to go to the restroom," I abruptly got up and walked quickly to the front bathroom. I saw Damien look over the back of the couch curiously, his eyes still shining in amusement as I shut the door and locked it. "Shit," I said in exasperation and sighed heavily. I leaned on the cabinet, drained emotionally. _I can't believe this is happening. I can't believe the effect he has on me. I never had that happen to me when I was around any other guys. Of course Damien isn't any other guy. He's dangerous, exotic, different, hot..._ I felt my hand snaking downward into my pants but I didn't stop it. _Maybe I'll get over it, at least for a little while, if I just..._

It didn't take long. I hadn't had that much wanted physical contact in years. Flashes of the incident yesterday soured the afterglow though and it made me just feel plain old sick. I was disgusted at myself for what I just did and over who it was over: A guy.

I washed my face and heaved out a heavy sigh again before I gathered enough courage to leave the bathroom. _Act normal and he won't know, act normal and he won't know, act normal... _I felt as if I might puke when I saw Damien's head turn and look over at me above the couch. He had the same amused look in his eyes and a coy, closed mouth smile on his face. He turned around and reengaged his attention to the TV a second later and I went and sat the furthest I could from him on the couch. He never said anything but I saw a smirk sneak onto his face randomly. I just hoped it was a smirk stemming from the TV and not that he knew what I did. I didn't think that questions about Van Gogh were very funny though and it worried me. _Shit, what if he knows? I couldn't stand for anyone to know I did anything like that._

_ Then you shouldn't have done it, dumb shit._

_ I couldn't help it..._

_ Cuz your gay?_

_ I... I don't even know anymore._

_ Ha, success._

_ What?_

_ Nothing, dear Pip._

_ Gahhhhhh, I don't know what I'll do if he asks what I was doing in the bathroom for so long._

_ Why would he ask you why you were in the bathroom a long time? That's just stupid. Even for you. And if he does you can just say you were taking a crap or something._

_ What! I could never!_

_ Or you could tell him the truth._

_ No!_

_ God, you are such a pansy. Most guys tell their friends to come see how huge of a torpedo they set off is or something._

_ That is absolutely disgusting._

"Why are you grimacing?"

"Huh?" Damien startled me. He was looking at me intently. I noticed the sparkle in his eyes were gone.

"You're grimacing. Why? Are you in pain? Sure you aren't sick?"

"I'm grimacing?" I reached up to my mouth and felt my mouth turned down. I _was _grimacing. He reached over and put the back of his hand on my forehead. "W-what are you doing?" The heat from his hand radiated through my body and the flush returned to my face.

"Trying to tell if you have a fever. Isn't this the way you tell?"

"I-I guess. But I don't have a fever, so you can take your hand off of me," I grabbed his arm and attempted to move his arm away. Big mistake. The heat from his arm spread into my palms and then into my veins. _Shit, not this again!_ I let go and was about to move out from under his hand but he moved it himself.

"You are right, you don't have a fever. You're colder than I am, so you should be good."

"Colder than you are?" I tried to ignore my body's compulsion to jump on him and steal all his heat.

"You didn't notice? My body temperature is much higher than a human's. My body runs at about one hundred and six degrees normally. Demons and inhabitants of Hell have a higher body temperature set so that we can withstand the temperature of Hell," he stated all of this in a very matter-of-factly tone, like this was everyday, normal old information.

"Oh." _It all makes more sense now. _I was about to say something else when I heard the front door open.

"Hey, Phillip! You home, honey?" Mother walked through the front door and then turned towards the living room and spotted me. "Oh, there you are, Phillip," she smiled at me and then her eyes moved towards the raven haired boy sitting next to me, "I see you have a friend over," she moved over to the couch, "What's your name?"

Damien got up and went over to shake her hand. They shook hands and I was afraid mother would notice his temperature, but if she did it didn't faze her. "My name is Damien Thorne."

"Oh, you're a polite one now, aren't you?" she giggled and I thought my eyes were going to pop out of my head. _Mother just giggled like a school girl._ _How is she giggling? I thought that red eyes, sharp canines, and like ten piercings in each ear would frighten her, not make her _giggle_. What the Hell. _"I'm Phillip's mother."

"Nice to meet you, Mrs... May I trouble you for your last name?" _What the Hell is this? He's acting like some noble man from the 1800s or something._

"Oh, Its Mrs. Adams, but you can just call me Augustine," she giggled out. _I think my jaw might just fall off. Did she really just tell him to call her by her first name?_

She turned and looked at me, "Phillip, what's wrong? You look like you just saw a ghost or something?"

"Ahh," I mentally pulled myself together, "I'm fine mother, no worries."

"You didn't tell me you were going to have such a nice young man come over today." I just smiled. _I didn't know it either._ "So what brings you here to our home today, Damien?"

"I just thought I might come and hang out with my dear friend, Pip, today," he gave a sickly sweet smile that would make most people puke. _How does she not notice he has fangs? Fangs! You'd think that would put her off! I can't believe how accepting of him she is. Is he using one of his powers?_

"Well then you _must_ stay for Dinner! I'm making grilled salmon, Phillip's favorite!" She gushed on like a love struck school girl.

"I would be honored," he laid it on thick and she lapped up every bit of it.

"I'll go get started then!" She practically skipped into the kitchen.

Damien turned around and gave me a crooked smile that crinkled his eyes. "What in bloody Hell was that?" I asked him, eying him suspiciously while trying to not be sucked in by that dangerous smile.

"I guess your mother likes me. Or _Augustine _likes me." He came and sat back down on the couch beside me, smiling devilishly all the while.

"Yeah, what the fuck. She's letting you call her by her first name. Did you use some of your powers on her or something?" I leaned over like I was searching for some hidden attraction device or something on him.

His smile just grew, "I've never heard you swear, Pip. It's quite nice."

"Uuuh?" His weird compliment flustered me, "I- I swear all the time."

"You may, but I've never heard you before. It's very refreshing. Makes me think you have a little devil under that sweet exterior." He poked my chest as he said the last part, "I would like to see more of it." He smiled in a suggestive way and made my frustration worse.

I pushed his finger off of me as hard as I could, making his smile lose some shine. "Ahh, you're avoiding the question I asked you!" I tried hard to scowl at him which seemed to amuse him.

"And what question might that be?"

"Did you use your powers on her to woo her or something?"

"Dear Pip," he grabbed my hand in both of his, "You don't need to have satanic powers to get what you want," he pulled me forward roughly by my arm, making me fall on him. My face wasn't but a few inches from his. He whispered into my ear, "It only takes a little charm."

His whisper shot through me and made my breath hitch. He pushed me back on the couch, laughed heartily, and then returned his eyes to Meredith Vieira and the poor sap who thought he could actually win. I stayed frozen where he had tossed me aside and couldn't stop staring at him from shock, mouth agape. _What in the fuck was that? _He looked over at me after a moment and smiled at me before returning his attention to the TV. I gathered myself and sat normally. I pretended to watch the TV. I didn't even really think. My mind was in shock from his actions.

"Phillip? Could you come here a second?" Mother called from the kitchen.

"Yeah!" I got up and went to the kitchen, feeling Damien's curious gaze on my back as I walked. Mother was standing in there 'grilling' on a _George Foreman Grill_.

She turned when she sensed my presence, "How much do you think Damien eats?"

"Uh," _I have no freaking idea_, "Probably a lot."

"Okay then, I'll make him two pieces of fish," she turned back to the grill, "How many you want?"

"Um, one."

"You sure? They are awfully small pieces," she held up a raw piece for me to see.

"Uh, yeah, mother." She sighed and turned back to her work, busying herself. I just stood there watching her for a moment. _She seems to like Damien. Maybe now would be the perfect time to ask her._

"Mother?"

"Yes?" She answered over her back and when I didn't say anything more she turned around. "What?"

"One sec," I ran back into the living room. Damien was staring at the TV. "Damien?"

"Yes?" He didn't take his eyes off of the TV.

"Come on, Damien."

He looked at me and then to the TV and then back at me. "But I want to find out if this plane really does understand Sylvia Plath."

I sighed, "You want to live at my house, don't you?"

"Yes..."

"Then come on, now."

"But..." I gave him a look and he finally got up and followed me with an over dramatic sigh.

"Mother?"

"Yes?" She turned around and was surprised to see us both.

"We have a question to ask you. Promise you'll keep an open mind," I paused, thinking of how to put it.

"I knew it," she said and sighed heavily.

"What?" I had no clue of 'what' she knew.

"He's your lover isn't he? Your gay together aren't you? I knew he was too good looking to be just a 'friend'."

"WHAT?" I yelled involuntarily and I heard Damien snicker beside me.

She just blinked at me for a moment, "So, your question isn't about if I'll accept your homosexuality?"

"What? No! I'm not gay! What would give you that idea?" I lied.

"Oh," she blushed and covered her face, "I'm sorry sweetie. I guess I got a little ahead of myself... So what were you going to ask me?"

"We," I cleared my voice, noticing I was still yelling. "We have a very important question to ask you, like I said. You see Damien has a problem."

"Yes?" She perked at his name. _God, what did he do to her?_

"He recently got kicked out of his home."

"Oh dear," she gasped, "That's horrible."

"Yeah... He's new here at South Park and well, he needs a place to stay until he patches things up at home." She just stared at me. "Amelia's old room is just sitting up there vacant and everything... Couldn't he stay there? At least for a while?"

"No."

"But-"

"He can't stay in Amelia's room. She's coming down to live with us this Sunday."

"What? When did this happen? Why wasn't I informed?" I blanched.

"Well, sweetie, we thought it would be a nice surprise. You know, to cheer you up."

_But I hate Amelia!_ Damien cleared his throat and nudged me in the side with his elbow. "But… that's not important. Can he just stay in my room then? I can sleep on the floor and give him my bed."

"I don't know..."

"Please mother? He has nowhere else to go. He doesn't have any friends besides me."

"Well..." she looked uncomfortable. She glanced over at Damien who put on a dejected, depressed look. "I... I say yes," Damien looked up with a huge, joyous faked smile on his face. "But I'll have to discuss it with Bertrand before I can give a final answer."

"Thanks, mother."

"Yes, thank you, Augustine," he gave her another fake smile, "Oh, and you might want to check that." He pointed behind her at the grill which now had black smoke emitting from it.

"Oh, dear sweet Jesus!" She yelled as she whirled around and tried to put it out.

"Need help?" I asked, scared the house would burn down.

"No, honey, I got it!"

"It doesn't look like you 'got it'."

"Just go watch TV, honey!" She was trying to put the flaming piece of fish out with a dish towel.

"Ok..." I reluctantly went back to the living room, Damien following quick behind. He sat down first and I yet again sat as far away as I could on the couch.

"Who are Amelia and Bertrand?"

"My sister and my adoptive Father and uncle."

"Oh. What do you think he will say?"

"I have no clue. I'm not really close to him." He snickered. "What?" His snickering kind of made me angry, he always did it at times that I didn't understand why you would snicker.

"You sound like Hamlet."

"What?" _His comments really throw me off._

"You know, Shakespeare's _Hamlet_?"

"Well, yes." _I don't see where this is going._

"His real father was murdered by his father-uncle. And he hated his father-uncle. And it seems Bertrand is your father-uncle and you don't like him too much."

"Oh." He said such in depth things all the while watching a stupid game show. Negative emotions filled me: confusion, worry, anticipation, and dread. _I don't understand him. I don't understand why he is here. I don't understand why he has such a strange effect on me. I don't understand him. I don't understand anything. _

"What was the meaning of last night?" I saw his pronounced jaw-line clench and a bit of anger crease his eyes.

"What ever do you mean, dear Pip?" He kept his gaze intense on the TV like what I was asking about wasn't important at all.

"You… you know what I mean."

"I must say, I really don't know what you are referring to."

"What?"

"Phillip!" My Mother's voice wafted from the kitchen. _What's with all this perfect timing crap?_ I went into the kitchen. "Help me set the table for dinner, honey."

I sighed and obeyed. By the time we were almost done I heard the front door open. Nervousness hitched in my body, afraid of the impending doom. _Either way this conversation goes I'm screwed. Either Father will say no and no telling what Damien will do or he'll say yes and yet again no telling what Damien will do. Damn it. _

I heard father move around in the other half of the house, but I didn't hear any speaking, meaning he mustn't have noticed Damien sitting in there. I sat the last fork down and Mother called for Father. He came dredging in and flopped down in his usual seat. Mother sat down next to him.

"Go get your nice friend, Phillip."

I went into the living room to fetch him. He was sitting staring at the TV as if doom wasn't fast approaching. "Damien?"

"Yes?" He turned and looked at me; his eyes seemed to be like molten lava. _Maybe he is dreading this too? But why would the son of Satan be scared of anything?_

"Dinner is ready." He sprung up and followed me in there, taking the place across from Mother and too close to me.

"Father, this is Damien."

He just nodded, disheartening me.

Everything was awkwardly quiet until the near the end of the meal. Damien engulfed his fish relatively fast but just kind of picked at the vegetables. I ate slowly, finding the food tolerable today. Mother ate it contentedly and Father ate it a more normal pace than he did last night. Before Father took his last bite mother spoke up.

"Bertrand, Phillip has a very important question to ask you."

_Shit, she put me on the spot._ "Uh, Father… Damien is relatively new here to South Park," he stared, "And he is my friend. And you know how you are supposed to help friends and all… Well, he needs a place to stay for a while… He's having family issues right now, and I'm the only person he had to turn to." He continued to just stare at me which made me break out in a nervous sweat. "And, well… Can he just stay here for a while? Since Amelia is coming home I thought that maybe he could just stay in my room. Or on the couch. Or something."

He just stared.

And stared.

And stared.

"Well?"

"I don't care."

His brief comment left me speechless but Mother picked up my slack. "Well, then it's all settled! Damien can stay here for as long as he needs!" She smiled and stood up, picking up the plates and putting them in the sink. "Phillip, why don't you do the dishes and I'll set up the air mattress in your room for Damien?" _God, he has her tied around his finger, doesn't he?_

We went our separate ways, Father to watch TV, me to do the dishes, and Mother and Damien to take care of his bed. _This is one strange ass day._

_

* * *

_

When everything was said and done it was nearly ten o'clock. Mainly because it took me what seemed like forever to get the burnt on fish off of the griddle and then I had to help Mother and Damien inflate the blow up mattress. _Really, how hard is it for a grown woman and the son of Satan to blow up a freaking mattress? _They couldn't figure out you had to have the valve on 'suck' when you had the automatic pump on. Damien said he'd never used one before and Mother was just, well, Mother.

Then after that Mother brought Damien and me downstairs to inform us of the rules since Damien was staying here. They basically consisted of that he'd have to chip in on chores, that there would be no girls in the house, that there would be no drinking or smoking in the house, and that we generally had to be good or consequences would unfold. I really didn't know what these 'consequences' were since I had never been grounded before or anything.

Mother then sent us upstairs to go to bed even though it was only ten and on a Friday night. Dread and nervousness filled me. Every fiber of my being was leaded down yet every atom of my body was shivering faster than normal. I felt like I might pass out, puke, and laugh all at the same time. _I really am going crazy._ Damien's presence sent electricity flittering through my body. I dreaded his presence. I was nervous and scared at what lay before me, yet I wanted more. _This must be how an addict feels. Wait… addict? But I barely know him and he's a boy. Let alone the anti-Christ. I must already be dammed or something._

_ Again with the boy stuff, fag? You are a worthless fag, just accept it or kill yourself._

I tried to tune him out to the back of my mind, but I felt a nagging there, chewing away at my grey matter.

Damien and I went upstairs to my room. I fell backwards onto my bed with a huff. _I'm beat. This day was waaaaaay too long._ I started to relax, but stiffened and sat up when I felt Damien's stare on me. He was standing in the middle of the room, directly under the ceiling fan, and just staring at me. His eyes gave nothing away. "What?" Nervous sweat started to run down my neck.

"Are we really expected to go to sleep around ten?" Tension gathered around his eyes. He seemed kind of pissed.

"Well, yeah," he just stared at me, "Anyways, aren't you tired?"

"No."

"Oh. Well I am. It's been a long day, I guess. Plus I'm not really a night owl."

He just stared at me a moment longer and then sighed. "Do you have a tooth brush I can have? I don't appreciate halitosis when I wake up."

His question surprised me. "Uh, sure. Come on." I led him to the bathroom and then rummaged around in a drawer until I found an unopened toothbrush package. "Here," I handed it to him. He blocked the doorway, trapping me in as he inspected it.

"Do you seriously buy toothbrushes with the Union Jack on it?"

"Actually my Mother does, but I picked them out."

"If you love England so much why don't you move back there? I think it would have been a much more fun place for us to be."

"We can't afford it and… wait. 'A much more fun place for _us_ to be?'" _What the hell does that mean? Does that mean he would have come to England if I was there? Does this have to do with me, not just South Park?_

I saw a fearful look flash across his eyes before they went back to their usual calm veneer. "I mean it just as I said it."

"What?" I staggered back a bit, fear seizing my stomach and squeezing it in its iron grip. _I really might vomit now._ He didn't answer, instead choosing to nonchalantly open up the package for the toothbrush. "I don't understand."

He successfully opened the package, wet the brush, put some tooth paste on it off a tube sitting on the counter, and proceeded to brush his teeth. Between brushes he managed to spurt out, "Oo on't hve to."

"What? What kind of answer is that?"

He spit out the foam and rinsed his mouth and the brush. "Well, what kind of guy uses pink bubble gum flavored toothpaste still?" He looked at me with hard eyes but smiled a toothy smile, showing off his clean, glistening white teeth. _What's crazy is that his skin is almost as white as his teeth… Wait, what? I'm supposed to be scared and mad, damn it! I can't keep falling for his charm._

He sat the toothbrush on the sink and proceeded to leave the bathroom, leaving me gawking near the toilet. When I collected myself I followed him to the bedroom. "Damien, I want answers! First I see you in my dreams, then you show up at school, then you want to move in with me…" I trailed off. Standing in my room was Damien. Without a shirt on. And halfway off with his pants. _If this was an anime blood would be spurting out of my nose._

"You had dreams about me? Sounds dirty." He had his pants off now and was standing gloriously under the fan again, the light shooting down seeming to illuminate his body and making him glow almost, in tight, black boxer-briefs. His body looked even better without the black clothing blurring his body. Most guys would kill to have a body anywhere near as perfect as his.

"What are you doing? And you know what I mean!"

"You don't expect me to sleep in the clothes that I wore all day today do you? Plus, you should know jeans aren't the most comfortable things to sleep in." He studied my face, which I felt was blood red and my mouth hung open, and then grinned evilly at me. "Unless, that is, you feel uncomfortable with me being so naked in your presence?"

His question brought me back to reality, thankfully before I started drooling. "Uh, no! It's all jolly good. Fine, fine." I laughed nervously.

"Did you ever notice that you speak with more of an English accent when you are nervous?"

"I do?" Fear struck me again. _I know that I don't hide nervousness very well, but my accent comes out more? No wonder people know when they are getting to me. _"Well, did you ever notice that you have started to act more ass-holey as the day has progressed?" I decided I shouldn't let him push me around. Something in me told me it was okay to stand up to him more than I do to anyone else.

He laughed. "Do I? I guess I can't cover my true nature for that long. Training can't change nature," he sat down on _my_ bed and smiled impishly. "You enjoyed me before school ended didn't you?"

"I guess," I moved out of the doorway and warily shut the door. _My parents really don't need to hear any of this._

"Then I'm sorry, because I don't usually act like that," he laid back on _my _bed.

"What? Then you tricked me?"

"If switching from Prince Charming mode to Prince of Darkness mode is tricking you, then yes." He turned his head towards me and his smile grew creepier. "Plus, evil has to be invited in."

"Eh?" Terror choked me and coherent words weren't an option yet.

"It says it in the Bible, even though most of it is complete crap. That part is true at least. I can't enter Christian homes unless I am invited. The crosses ward me off." His smile faded as he saw my horrified look. "Aw, Pip, come on. You are too pretty to contort your face into such an ugly position. You don't have to worry really. I'm not horrible to the chosen humans that I like. I won't hurt you. I promise." My trachea loosened up and I felt like I could breathe again. "You are just going to see more of the real Damien, son of Satan, shining through. And I don't think I'm too horrible, even if I am the essence of evil. Calm down."

"H-how am I s-supposed to calm d-down?" I felt myself shaking even though I wasn't cold.

"I could calm you down and stop your shaking." He smiled suggestively at me, but the excitement from that barely touched the level of terror still consuming my body.

"Huh?"

His smile fell again and he sighed. "You are so innocent and pure, Pip. It's almost sickening."

I felt my stomach sink, his comment making me sad. _Why is that making me sad? Isn't being pure and innocent a good thing? I don't like him enough to want to be corrupted for him, do I?_ I shoved the thoughts away, repressing them. _Whatever, I'm not pure or innocent anymore after yesterday anyway._

"Can you explain anything to me?"

"Explain what?"

"Why are you here? Why me?"

"Oh, that. No. Not yet."

"What? Why? I think if you are using me or something I should know!"

"Well, tough titties. And you can't know because I don't trust you with the information yet. I don't know if you are strong enough to handle it yet."

"I can't even know why you came to me in the dreams?"

"Well, I don't really know what there is to know about them. They are pretty self explanatory."

"'Self explanatory?' I can come up with a bunch of questions about them! Like, 'was that real', or 'where was that', or 'why were you a child in them', or 'what does that promise really entail'!" I was starting to get really angry.

"Calm yourself, dear Pip. All will come in good time."

"I can't even know about _my own_ dreams?" He did the lock his mouth and throw away the key motion. _So freaking juvenile!_

_ Yet you think it's cute._

_ Not now! Shut up._

"Well what about when we were watching TV?"

"What do you mean?" He didn't seem to be teasing; he seemed to actually not know what I was talking about.

"You know, when the cheetah caught the antelope! You were acting all weird."

"Weird as in how?" He seemed baffled. _How can he not remember doing something that weird?_

"Like you were breathing all hard and your eyes were glowing."

"Oh," recognition reached his eyes, "I must've slipped in my act. You see, I've seemed to have developed a fetish for blood and gore throughout the years. I guess its natural considering who I am." He smirked as he saw that the embarrassment reached through my angry and fearful surface and I blushed yet again. "What, does that freak you out or do you really just want to hear more about it?"

My blush increased but I pretended like his words didn't affect me in the least. "N-no. I… I think that's enough questions until tomorrow…"

"You better rest up then. You'll need all your energy for tomorrow," he said as he got into a more comfortable position on my bed. The movement attracted my eyes and I couldn't stop staring at him._ If I didn't know any better I'd say he was a freaking _Twilight_ vampire. He's so pale that he glows in the light. Wait…_

"What do you mean by that?"

"Nothing bad. You are just buying me clothes tomorrow. You're too small so I can't steal yours. And I'm not just going to keep wearing the same outfit over and over again."

"Wait. I'm buying_ you_ clothes?"

"Yeah. You wear high-end designer clothes and ate salmon for dinner. Poor people don't do that, especially now in a recession and a small hick-town like this. I'm not saying you have to buy me Alexander McQueen like you wear or anything… What am I saying? Yes you do. I'm the freaking Prince of Hell. I'm not going to wear something from a department store."

"What! I don't have that kind of money! I only have money to buy those clothes because of my inheritance."

"You used all your inheritance?"

"Well, no. But it comes in installments until I'm eighteen and since I'm seventeen I don't get anymore until then."

"So? How much you have right now?"

"Around fifteen hundred or so."

He fell silent and then sighed. "That won't buy much McQueen… I guess I could… maybe get something not so high end…"

"Who said I'm going to waste my inheritance on you?"

"Me. I'll sweeten it for you though. How about I answer one question tomorrow if you do it?"

_I really, really do want to know what's going on. A question could help. _"I guess."

"Excellent, because I'd force you to anyways. I just really don't want to go back on my word about not hurting you."

"That's… reassuring?"

"Okay. Badnight. Turn the light off now."

"Wait. You're in _my_ bed though."

"And your point is?"

"That's where _I_ sleep."

"Yet again, you're point is?"

"Well you are in it."

"And?"

"That's it."

He sighed and rolled where he could see me. "You did initially offer me your bed. And the Prince of Darkness does _not_ sleep on a _pretend_ bed."

"It's a blow up mattress, not a pretend bed. It's exactly like any other mattress."

"Then you should have no problem sleeping on it," he grinned at me.

"Hey!"

"Of course you could sleep in your bed with me if you so choose," he wiggled his eyebrows playfully.

"What?" My face went ablaze.

"It's a queen size right? We both could sleep comfortably in it." His grin widened and he pat the space beside him.

"Uhh…. I think I'll just sleep on the pretend bed…"

He frowned, "Aw, you're no fun, Pip. At least I'm not sleeping naked like I usually do. I'll keep my underwear on for you for at least today." He grinned devilishly again as my face turned into a tomato.

I turned to get ready for bed and he turned back on his side, looking away from me. I took some pajama pants and an oversized, old shirt with me to the bathroom. _I'm not as comfortable as he is to just strip in front of someone._ I closed the door and stripped. I put on the pj's and brushed my teeth. I was about to leave the room when I saw the white gauze reflect in the mirror as I reached for the knob. _Oh my God! I was about to walk out of here with my arm showing. How could I forget about this? Come to think of it… I haven't really thought of it since before I woke up this morning. Damien is really… distracting. A distracting ass-hole. A hot, sinful, distracting ass-hole… Bloody freaking Hell! What am I thinking?_

I locked the bathroom door before I undid the gauze. _No need for anyone to walk in on me with this showing… _There was one long, pink, raised line across my left inner forearm. It reached from near my palm to about halfway down in a vertical line. _Can't cover that with a band-aid._ I rummaged around in a drawer and fetched some anti-bacterial cream before putting it on the line. The pressure of my touch on it sent swirls of pain pulsing through my arm but the swirls dissipated the anxiety in that clenched my stomach, making me feel better. It brought tears to my eyes but they went away by the time I was done tracing it. I took the gauze from where I had placed it yesterday and wrapped my arm. _Good as new._

_More like good as a used car._

_Shut up. You are so stupid sometimes._

_So you admit I'm not most of the time._

_Shush._

_Like you can get rid of me by telling me to 'shush'. So scary._

I thought back to how he had shut up after I hurt myself yesterday and how nice it was. _What if…_

_What if what, pansy?_

I took my hand and pressed as hard as I could against the gauze that covered my wound. So hard that tears poured out of my eyes and I couldn't hear him anymore.

_I hate you._ I heard no retort._ He's gone… At least for now… Now how am I going to hide this gauze?_ I took my hoodie and put it back on. _I'll be hot, but I at least won't be caught. I just won't use the blanket…_

I went back to my room and saw Damien's back glistening in the light before I turned it off and laid down. I could still see his back from the 'pretend' bed and noticed it even glowed in the dark. _Dear God, what have I gotten myself into?_

_

* * *

_

**After note: **

Why do these chapters just keep getting progressively longer? I didn't see a good spot to stop 'till then. It's not too long is it?

Anyways, how do you like the story? Please tell me what you think so far, even criticism is welcomed. :] Tell me if you think they are way out of character. I'm afraid I warped Pip's character a bit too much. I am going for that he isn't some little push-over kid as much as he was when he was, let's say, in fourth grade though. XD Please realize that Damien's good-natured-ness until the end of the chapter was intentional and that his real personality is starting to show.

Oh, and I'm not stealing the glow-y shiny thing form _Twilight._ In case you are not extremely pale, like I am, you probably won't realize that pale people glow in certain light. Since I am really pale I glow in bright sun and have actually been told I am blinding. XD Also, when there's just a little light, in the dark I glow. I glow like those cheap glow-in-the-dark shirts from Wal-Mart that don't glow very bright. So, I assumed, that since I glow, that someone who is supposed to be the palest person **ever** would really, really glow. That's my logic and I'm sticking to it. :P

Sorry I took so long to update. I was busy with mid-terms and then God decided he hated me and I got the swine flu. XD It wasn't that bad, I got better in two days, but it drained me mentally as well as physically, so I haven't been able to really write anything of substance for a while. Luckily I had half the chapter written before all that happened so I didn't have too much to do. Enough excuses though.

I have come to realize that the song "Bad Romance" by Lady Gaga is soooo like Pip and Damien's relationship will be. Look up the lyrics or listen to it if you want to ruin the story for yourself. XD I find it amusing though because she says "we could write a bad romance" and I am essentially writing a bad (a.k.a. a horribly written and fucked up) romance. XD

But I digress.

Please, please, please, please, **please, please, please, PLEASE **review! I'd love you forever if you do. Remember, crit is welcome so you don't have to pretend this is fairytale land and my writing is perfect. Again, just saying you read it is appreciated. :3


	5. Inconcinnus

Inconcinnus:

"Hmmnn-" I was being shaken violently, "Agrrrhhhh… What!" My eyes opened and I saw a crimson eyed man was the culprit. Confusion seized me before my brain was hit with the flood of information from the past few days.

"Wake up, Pip! I want to leave. _Now._" He was scowling down at me, but stopped shaking when he saw recognition reach my eyes. "Come on. Get up." He stood up and reached a hand towards me.

I just stared at him for a moment before my foggy brain recognized that the hand was meant to help me up. I started to move to take it, but apparently I took too long because he huffed and withdrew his hand before moving towards my door.

"Whatever. Just hurry up. I'll be waiting downstairs for you. So hurry and do… whatever it is effeminate English boys do in the morning to get ready." He waved his hand dismissively at me before he left the room.

I sighed. _Apparently the last few days weren't a dream. This is reality. Shit. _I sighed again before I rolled out of the bed and onto the floor. I just laid there for a moment, staring at the blades of the fan above me blurring as they spun. "Where is it that he wants to go?" _I remember arguing about money… Oh fuck. He wants to use my money to buy stuff at the mall. _I sighed for the third time since I had woken up before I finally drug myself off the floor. "Shower…"

I dragged myself to the bathroom. _Normally I wouldn't make people wait on me, even if I needed a shower, but Damien is an exception. I don't treat ass-holes nicely._ I tore my bandage off my arm and showered slowly; my brain activity wasn't starting very quickly this morning. _Why am I so tired today? I didn't have any weird dreams last night… come to think of it I didn't have _any_ dreams last night…_

I finished and dried off. "Uh-oh," I whispered as I turned to grab my clothes off the counter of my bathroom and realized in my haze that I forgot to grab any. _Crap. Now I'm going to be naked _and_ not have anything to cover my bandage if anyone sees me. _I sighed and doctored up my arm, noticing the pleasing swirls of pain but ignoring them for now. _This is not the time. I hope Damien stays downstairs like he said he was going to._

I wrapped the towel around my waist and went down the hall to my room. I looked inside and made sure no one was in it before I went in and shut the door. I exhaled in relief. _Why am I so paranoid?_ I grabbed a pink shirt from my closet and smiled as I put it on. It was my favorite shirt; the pink reminded me of the dorky pink socks I used to wear as a kid. I pulled on some charcoal jeans and a charcoal blazer. _I guess I do wear expensive labels… I didn't buy them because they were labels or expensive though… I just like quality clothes. I'd rather have a few good articles of clothing that last for years than a lot of cheap ones that die in a few months. I never realized people paid attention to the labels I wore…_ I slipped on some shoes and went back to the bathroom.

I sighed, brushed my hair, and then checked my eye. The swelling was completely gone now and most of the color was gone too. It was just a shadow now; it looked like I might've had dark makeup on that got smudged or was just really, really tired. Which I was. I yawned and pulled my collar down, revealing hickies that were about as light as my eye. My stomach clenched at the thought of where these came from, but I repressed it and started blow drying my hair.

"Pip!" A hand touched my shoulder and I jumped, dropping the blow dryer in the process. I whirled around and saw that it was Damien standing there. _I should have known. I notice the burning in my shoulder now._

"Damien! Don't scare me like that!" I leaned down and picked up the still running blow dryer before I turned it off. I pointed to it, "I could have dropped this in the toilet or something and electrocuted myself and died! Don't sneak up on me."

"Calm down, Pip. Lucifer, you are such a drama queen." He rolled his eyes at me and then leaned against the threshold. "I was coming to see what was taking you so long. I woke you up like an hour ago."

"Well, if you let me finish drying my hair without giving me a heart attack, I'll be ready in five or so minutes."

He sighed and walked away. "Okay."

I finished drying my hair as quickly as I could before I went to my room and grabbed my cell phone and my wallet. "Ready," I said as I went down the stairs.

"Finally." Damien held an annoyed look on his face. I saw his eyes scan over me and I felt my face start to burn. "So where's the nearest mall?"

"North Park. It's the only mall in the county."

He sighed and crossed his arms. "How can you live in such a small place? In New York there is as many freaking malls as there are people that live in this town."

"You've been to New York?"

"Who hasn't?" An embarrassed look must've flashed across my face because his annoyed one softened to more of a minor scowl. "Sorry. I'm just spoiled I guess. I've been to pretty much any big city there is."

"You can say that again…" I whispered.

"What?" He narrowed his eyes suspiciously at me.

"Uhh, I was just wondering how exactly we are going to get to North Park?"

He looked surprised. "You aren't driving?"

"I don't have a car. That's kind of why I ride the bus to school."

"It's Saturday, do your parents even work? Why can't you take one of their cars?"

"Because mother works on Saturdays. And I don't have a license."

"You are telling me you are seventeen years old and still don't have a license?"

I sighed, "I don't have a car, so I never saw the point in getting one."

"Damn it, you are useless," he sighed dramatically, "I'll drive your dad's car."

"What? No!"

"And why exactly not?"

"Because it's _my_ father's car. And do _you_ even have a license?" I felt tension rise in the atmosphere and I crossed my arms on my chest defensively.

"So? I'm the son of Satan, I don't need one," I could tell he was starting to get pissed.

"Hey! Don't say stuff like that so loudly! Someone could hear you and that would defiantly be bad," I pulled him towards the front door and tried to ignore the fever that ignited in my hand.

"Come on, Pip. I need some clothes if I'm going to blend into the community. People are going to notice if I wear the same exact outfit every single day. This isn't some cartoon. And I can't borrow yours, they are too small. And besides," he leaned in close and I could feel his whisper burning on my cheek, "don't you want any of your questions answered? I told you you would be repaid for your services."

"Oh yeah," _I had completely forgotten about our agreement_, "But I don't see how we can get there. It's an hour away by car. It would take forever to walk there by foot. And it's cold outside."

He eyed me like I was an idiot, "When is it _not_ cold here? You freaking live in the mountains, of course it's going to be freezing balls," he sighed and then looked at me deviously, "And you know how. Just go ask your father if you can borrow his car."

"But…"

"But what, Pip? Come on, grow some freaking balls."

I glared at him, "You know, I really miss the Damien that was nice to me yesterday, not this bollock."

"Sucks for you then. Now, go ask your dad," he pointed upstairs where my mother and father were still sleeping in.

I sighed and racked my brain for some kind of excuse or different way to get there, but there wasn't any. "I will, but only on one condition."

That piqued his interest and he gave me a surprised look. "Really, now?"

"Yeah, I want to ask you more than just one question."

"Sure, whatever. Now just go ask your dad already and quit stalling."

"Really? I can ask you more?"

He sighed, "I said yes, didn't I? Now go."

I steadied myself and stared at the stairs. _Why is this so hard for me to do this? My stomach is in knots. I-_ I was shoved forward by Damien and it left what felt like burning flames on my back in the shape of handprints. If I hadn't had known any better I would have guessed that there were going to be scars there. "Ouch," I turned around and glared at him.

"Quit stalling. Why is it so hard for you to ask anything of him?"

"I don't know." _Because anytime I do he pulls stunts like he did last night._ I turned back to the stairs and made my way up to my parent's room. I knocked on the door and heard my mother call 'come in'. I opened the door and saw mother in her bathrobe doing her makeup at the vanity in their room.

"Hey, honey. I'm just getting ready now, I got to be in at the bakery at noon today," she stopped powdering her face and gazed at me through the mirror while she put on eye shadow. "Why, aren't you looking nice today? Are you planning on going anywhere or something?"

"Uh, yeah. Damien and I want to go to the mall."

"That's all the way in North Park. Does Damien have a car or something? I didn't see any extra ones around here."

"No, mother, he doesn't have one."

"Oh… Well, how are you going to get there then? Someone picking you up?"

"Well, no. We were actually wondering if we could borrow Father's car."

She put her beauty tools down and turned to look at me. "But you don't have a driver's license."

"I know, but Damien does…" I shifted nervously and looked at the floor. _Hopefully she will say no. Please say no._

"That's okay with me then."

I looked up at her, in shock. She smiled at me and looked like some weird clown with only half of her makeup on. "Oh, r-really?"

"Yeah. You are getting old enough now and I trust that you can make the right decisions if your friend doesn't drive safely. If there is an emergency you can always just call me. But you can't take my car, so you need to ask your father if he is ok with it," she pointed to him and smiled again, "Just wake him up. I was going to in a while anyways."

"Ah, ok…" She smiled and turned back to finish her makeup. I turned towards the bed and looked at the sleeping figure of father before walking over. I shook him lightly and worry twisted knots in my stomach. _I'm defiantly going to need to 'calm down' before we leave. I feel sick._ He stirred slightly and I shook a bit harder. He sighed heavily and his lids slowly opened. "Good morning, Father." I gave him a tentative smile and he just stared at me. "Uh, I was wondering if, maybe, if it was ok with you, that Damien and I could borrow your car to go to the North Park mall? He has a license and everything and I could pay for the gas we use and I promis-"

"Whatever," He closed his eyes and turned away from me before he snuggled further into his bed.

I let out my breath and stood up straight. "Ok… Thank you, Father." I looked over at mother and her reflection smiled at me, but I saw a bit of regret tingeing the corners of her eyes again. I smiled back, trying my best to look happy.

"His keys are in the bowl downstairs by the door, Pip. And be safe!" She smiled at me again and I left the room. I stood in the hallway for a second before I made my way to the bathroom. _Why does he hate me so?_

_ Because you are fag and aren't really his son._

_ Oh, just shut up._

_ Yet again you tell me to shut up when I am right._

_ Whatever. _A pang shot through my stomach as I realized that was the only word he ever says to me.

_ He doesn't care about you at all. No one does. Mother just puts on that act so you don't kill yourself or something._

_ No, she loves me!_

_ Yeah right. That sadness you see in her eyes is because she is sad she is stuck with you. She probably regrets ever adopting you. It was like a shot gun wedding, what was she going to say when they told her your parents died and that you were homeless. She only adopted you out of pity and common courtesy._

_ But…_

_ You know it's true, Pip. You know it is._

I slipped into the bathroom and locked the door. _I can't go down to the kitchen… Damien will see me if I do… There must be something in here. _I ripped through some drawers franticly, I needed it _now_. The past day's actions and worries added to what had already happened in the few hours I had been awake and I felt like something was boiling inside me and that if I didn't take care of it that it would bubble and overflow like an unwatched pot.

My hand touched on a familiar object, a disposable shaving razor. I never used it much, I wasn't a very hairy guy and I usually only shaved once a week or so. I saw the shiny silver peering out of the plastic head at me, twinkling in the bathroom light. It was taunting me. _How am I going to use this?_

_ Break the head open and the blades will fall out._

I did as _he_ said; I put it on the ground and stomped on it until I heard a gratifying _crunch_. I felt my mouth slither into a smile, but I ignored the uncharacteristic reaction and picked up the pieces. The head of the razor was cracked in half, the blades barely hanging in by bits of intact plastic. I tore a blade out, trying to be careful to not slice my hand open, and took the remaining pieces and shoved them in the back of the linen closet, underneath some ratty towels that no one ever used. I took the razor and just stared at it for a moment before I was overtaken by an unbearable urge to slice it through my arm. Sparks and swirls raced from my arm to my stomach and eased it. I felt like my lungs could finally expand as my brain flooded with dopamine. Tears sprung from my eyes and I noticed that it seemed like there was a slight translucent haze over the world, but I didn't mind. It was kind of nice.

I looked down at my arm and saw that three gashes were embedded in it, the lines ragged and going in any direction. I just smiled until my worrisome personality came back. _Oh shit, shit, shit. I can't believe I just did that… I'm bleeding everywhere…_ I took some toilet paper and tried to stop the bleeding with it, but the paper just disintegrated so I gave up and got a hand towel. I pressed hard on my arm and eventually the bleeding stopped.

"Pip?" I heard Damien walking up the stairs and footsteps coming towards the door.

"Uh, one minute! I'll be out in a minute, just wait for me downstairs!" I tried to contain my voice and not freak out.

I heard an exasperated sigh through the door and he started walking back towards the stairs. I breathed in relief. I took the towel off and cleaned my arm with the cream from before and then grabbed the gauze out of its hiding place and wrapped it around my arm. I hid the cream and the gauze with the razors and put on my jacket which had been forgotten on the floor earlier.

I looked at myself in the mirror and noticed a slight smile had encroached upon my face, and it disgusted me. _I'm a horrible and pathetic person._ I flushed the toilet so that anyone that heard me would just think that I had been taking a crap or something. I almost left before I remembered the bloody hand towel. _Fuck… What am I going to do with this?_ I thought for a moment and then decided it would least likely be found if I shoved it behind everything under the sink, so that's what I did. I made a mental note to dispose of it once we got home.

I sighed and finally left the restroom. I went down the stairs and found an annoyed Damien. "What took you so fucking long? You could've at least came and told me what he said before you went to take care of 'business'." I gave him a meek look and he sighed, "Sorry, I'm just really anxious to leave. I'm not used to being cooped up." He uncrossed his arms and touched my shoulder apologetically, sending fire running through my veins. "So what did your father say?"

"He said yeah."

Damien's face lit up in a cocky smile and I felt my face tinge in pink. "Hells yeah. Now where are the keys so we can get out of here?"

I walked over to the bowl and dangled them in the air before he grabbed them and exploded out of the door.

* * *

I was very sure that my father's grey '88 hatchback wasn't able to go faster than sixty, but Damien proved me wrong. Oh god, did he prove me wrong. He flew down the empty highway and it was all I could do not to scream like a schoolgirl. I asked him a few times to please slow down, but was only answered with, "Shut up; quit being such a Nancy-boy." We made the usually hour ride in less than thirty minutes.

He pulled into the North Park mall and parked like he was in some kind of cheap action flick. He popped out of the car and stretched as I tried not to puke. _I never knew that I got car sick…_ Damien opened my door tried to pull me out. "Come on, already."

"Wait! I'm still buckled," He let go and I was able to unbuckle and crawl out by myself. "Oh god, sweet, sweet unmoving solid ground." I bent like I was about the get down and kiss the ground and he just rolled his eyes at me.

"Drama Queen. I wasn't even going that fast," he started walking nonchalantly towards the entrance of the mall.

I followed, "Since when is eighty miles an hour _not_ fast?"

He gave me a toothy- or should I say fangy- grin as he held the door open for me. "Since some cars go one-hundred and fifty."

I rolled my eyes at him again. "Which store do you want to go to? And remember I don't have much money, you know."

"Yeah, whatever… How about that store?" He pointed over to the _Hot Topic_ which had opened back up a few months ago after the Goths set it on fire.

"Are you serious?" I eyed him and he just smiled, "Are you that stereotypical?"

"Ha, no. I just wanted to see your reaction. I'd never touch anything from there. I'm not any poser, if anything I am the original." He smirked and pointed to another store. "I guess we can go to _Macy's_. It seems the least crappy out of all the stores at this crap mall." He led the way to the store and then the men's section.

He started grabbing different clothes and I felt like rolling my eyes again at his choices. Everything he picked up was black or grey and tight fitting. There were only a few exceptions; he grabbed one red shirt and a white one. I went and sat outside the fitting room, I didn't feel like looking with him. _I'd be lucky if there was even any money left for me to get anything anyways. I might as well kiss my money goodbye. These questions better be worth it…_

He walked over to me after about ten minutes and was holding a mountain of black. "It looks like you are carrying a black hole."

"Thanks," He smiled and I wondered how in the hell he thought that was a compliment. He went into one of the dressing room stalls and I heard him rustling around clothes. I was inspecting my nails for dirt when I heard him talk behind me. "How do I look?"

I stood up and turned to look at him, and instantly wished I hadn't. He was wearing a tight black polo shirt and a pair of low cut black jeans, but that wasn't the bad part. The bad part was that the shirt was kind of short so you could see his hip bones and the beginning of other parts of him. _He is completely and utterly hot…_ He stared at me funny when my pause began turning into an awkward silence. I mentally slapped myself and I was able to finally form a coherent answer to his question. _You look sexy as Hell, please excuse the pun, and I wished you either put something on over it so that I can't see or just take me now. _"Uh… You look cool."

"Ok?" He raised his eyebrow and gave me a look before he went back into the stall.

_Fuck, fuck, fuck. Damn itttttt. Why me? Whyyyyyyyy?_

He showed off more and more outfits and almost all of them were just as bad as the first one. I had to keep myself from drooling on some of them. _I have to keep myself together… No one can know… Especially not him. No telling what he would do if he found out that just the sight of him could give me a boner… Oh god, what's wrong with me? I shouldn't like him, he's a guy. Guys aren't supposed to like guys._

_God is so cruel._ He walked out and I was surprised to find it wasn't black. It was the red shirt he had grabbed. Before I had just seen that it was red, but now that he came out I could see why he made an exception for that shirt. It was see through mesh and had black ribbons that criss-crossed on it. His nipples were barely even hidden behind the conveniently placed ribbons. He smiled at me and I chanted '_damnit_' in the back of my head a million times. "So? I think it might be a little more than South Park can handle, usually the only places I wear stuff like this is in big cities like Austin or Los Angeles."

"I-I think it is a little much for a place like South Park. I think the hicks would have a heart attack… Is that even a guy's shirt?" There is no way a shirt like that would be sold in the men's department at a mainstream store.

"Well, not really. It was actually in the lingerie section. It was across from the men's and I thought it looked cool," I gawked at him, "What? You can't tell me all those girly clothes you wear are men's."

"A-actually they are. I wouldn't wear women's clothes! I'm a guy."

"That's too bad. You could pass for a girl if you wore women's clothes. I guess you won't want to try on that shirt I picked out for you then…"

"Shirt? What?"

He smiled evilly at me and his fangs shined in the yellowed dressing room lights, sending a shiver down my spine. "Come on. Come try it on in the dressing room." _What is he getting at?_ He gave an exasperated sigh and walked towards the stall. "Don't you trust me enough to try on a shirt? It's not like it's going to kill you." A sly grin made it to one corner of his mouth and it made me nervous. He made it to the door and he pointed in. "You can at least try it on. Your hurting my feelings," he said the last part with a smile though and I knew he was just trying to persuade me.

"I'm not trying on women's clothes," I stood my ground and I saw it irked him slightly. _Apparently he isn't used to getting told no._

"If you don't then the deal is off."

"What?" He looked completely serious, "But then you wouldn't have any clothes to wear and you'd stand out…" _Maybe I can still convince him?_

"I can just steal them, you know. It doesn't take a genius or any powers to be able to shoplift. Its child's play. I just didn't think you'd appreciate me breaking the law in your presence." _If that's the case then why the hell were you going eighty in a fifty? _He gave me a serious look and was about to say more, but I cut him off.

"Ok," he grinned in cocky accomplishment, "But you can't be in the stall when I am."

"Whatever, sure," he rolled his eyes, "Try on the white shirt."

I closed the stall door and locked it. I picked up the white shirt and had to keep in a horrified scream. It was a white version of the shirt, if you could call it that, he had on. _Oh dear god, no. _"Damien! I don't want to try _this_ on!"

"Do it or the deal is off and you'll be in ignorance." _I bet he has a smug grin on right now, knowing he is winning._

"Fuck you," that won a laugh from him. I sighed and stripped my jacket and shirt off. I looked down at my arm and saw the mass of gauze on my arm. _Damnit, I forgot… I'll just wear my jacket too. _I pulled the white 'shirt' on. _I feel naked enough anyways to wear a jacket. I think I feel more naked than I am when I'm actually naked, if that's even possible. _I looked at myself in the mirror and felt sick to my stomach. It wasn't mesh like his, it was white lace and the ribbon was white too. _I wish it was possible to die of embarrassment._ I looked at myself even more in the mirror and saw that the hickeys on my neck were completely exposed and that the bruises on my abdomen were still faintly there. _Fuck. What is he going to think when he sees that? _I pulled on my jacket, leaving it open, and took a huge gulp of air as I opened the door.

I felt myself instinctively fold into myself, arms crossed and hunched over, as his eyes went over me. "Stand up straight. There's no need to be embarrassed. I'm wearing the same freaking shirt. And plus I can't see."

He pulled my arms down to my side and then moved to take my jacket off. "No!" He stopped and gave me an inquisitive look.

"What? You can't tell me you are okay with wearing lace but you aren't with taking your jacket off?"

"I'm not comfortable with wearing lace! And plus… it's cold. I don't want to take my jacket off."

He rolled his eyes, "Come on, it's just for a minute. I think you can survive without it that long. I just want to see if I am right."

"Right about what?" I closed my arms around myself, trying to protect my jacket from being pulled off._ He can't know. There's no way for him to know I did that._

"If you'd look like a girl if you wore girl's clothing."

"Why are you so obsessed with that?" I grimaced and eyed him warily.

He sighed, "Because. Do you want to know the truth about anything or do you want to stay in the dark?"

"I…" _He's right…I do want to know. I can't stand not knowing anything._ I sighed silently and slowly pulled off my blazer. I held it down in front of me and held my head down in shame. _God, this is embarrassing._

I instantly heard Damien amusedly laughing and I felt like I could just die right then. "Haha! You sooooo look like a flat-chested girl in that. Ha! I knew it." I looked up at him through my hair and was shocked at the sight I saw even in my embarrassment. _He is beautiful when he smiles._ His eyes sparkled like real gems and his huge grin made his eyes crinkle. His usually brooding face lit up and his perfect teeth gleamed. _I think if we were in a crowd of people they would just stop and stare, and not just because of the shirt. He looks… glorious. _Watching him made my stomach go crazy._ Forget butterflies, it feels like freaking buffalos are head butting in there. _His face dimmed instantly and I saw his eyes fixate on my arm._ Oh shit. He saw it._

"What happened to your arm, Pip?" He looked completely different now. His eyes turned to dull stones and any trace that he was just laughing had vanished. "Did it have anything to do with your eye?"  
Dread was coursing thorough me but his last question was like a savior. _I can use that as a lie…_ I looked up at him innocently and then my arm nonchalantly, like it was nothing. "Oh, yeah. It's no big deal."

He raised a suspicious eyebrow at me, "If it's no big deal then why does it require gauze?"

"It's just a big scratch I got during a scuffle. Like I said no big deal." _I hope he believes me._

"What happened? Why were you in a fight? You aren't of much use to me if you are a carcass. I don't need someone killing you anytime soon." _What's that supposed to mean?_ His comment left a sour taste in my mouth.

"It wasn't really a fight, per say."

He narrowed his eyes at my neck and I looked back down at the floor, "Then what was it if it wasn't a fight?" Stark images of Kenny and his eyes surfaced in my mind. They were dark blue, like the color of the sky right before a storm. They themselves were storming, energy and emotions blazing behind them fiercer than I've ever seen Damien's fire eyes. But they were ill intended emotions. And I could see my horrified reflection in them, my face being consumed by them, and an evil grin gleaming out of the eye's owner.

"Pip, what's wrong?" I snapped back to reality and realized that I had been lost in my own little world when I should have been lying my way out. "You look like you are going to pass out or something." He didn't look concerned really, but a weird look that was akin to confusion.

"Oh, uh… I'm just really cold and I haven't eaten anything today. I think it's just getting to me," I laughed nervously and went back into the stall, "I think if I j-just change I'll be right-o." He gave me a doubtful look when I said 'right-o' and I grimaced at my slip up. _I really do let my accent out more when I'm nervous…_ _Damn it._

I slammed the door shut, locked it, and breathed in relief when he didn't say anything further. I changed back into my clothes quickly; you couldn't pay me enough for me to wear it a second longer. I tried to calm myself before daring come out. I finally did and he just looked at me boredly, like we hadn't just had that awkward conversation and he didn't just make me wear women's lingerie. He walked in after me and took a few minutes before he came out with a pile of clothes.

"These are the clothes I want." _He says this as if he isn't holding a giant pile of clothes that probably cost more than the inheritance I get originally._

"Don't you think that's a bit… excessive?" He was basically holding all the clothes he originally grabbed, only a few things rejected in the stall.

"Well, if you don't want to buy me clothes or know the truth I guess I can just put them back…"

"No, no, no! T-that's not what I meant! I… I just meant that that looks like it's going to cost more money than I have."

"Oh, well…" _Is he blushing? What the hell?_ He was looking away from me, pretending to stare at a poster advertising the in-store salon behind me, and I could detect a slight pink tone on his white skin. "That's… that's why I actually grabbed a lot of this stuff from the sale rack. I knew you didn't have much and… And I guess I just wasn't trying to be as selfish as I normally am."

He paused and then looked over at me through the corners of his eyes. I guess my face must have expressed my amazement because his face went a darker shade of pink and his eyes shone in what I guessed was frustration and anger. "Not that I don't deserve it!" He was yelling and I felt my body automatically trying to sink into the wall, "I deserve way better than anything some futile human or this shitty plane could ever give me! Fuck, I can't wait until I can go back and leave this boring excuse for a town!"

He was grimacing and basically barring his teeth. I felt terror shoot down my spine and I slid down the wall and covered my head instinctively. _Oh, God… Please don't let him hurt me… How could I think someone like him was beautiful or glorious! He's terrifying! He looks like a fucking monster…_ Everything went quiet and after a moment I chanced a look. He was looking down his nose and glaring at me, his eyes practically glowing. His jaw was set and he was scowling. It felt like his eyes were burning a hole through me, all the way to my soul. Terror shuttered through me again and I felt like I could vomit. _That must be what the eyes of a murderer look like. Pure hatred._ I couldn't tear my eyes away, though, and we kept staring at each other, not saying anything.

All of a sudden he sighed heavily through his nose and I saw the glow leave his eyes. He kept glaring at me, but I could tell the hate was gone. "Pip," he sighed again, "Get up." I was frozen in place though and my mouth wasn't yet ready to form coherent words. "P…Pl…. Please… Pip. I'm.. s.. so-… I'm…" I saw annoyance creep onto his face and a smile on mine as I realized what he was doing. "Look… I'm fucking sorry, okay? I have problems controlling myself sometimes…" He looked at the ground for a moment before looking back at me. "Now get that stupid smile off your face and get the fuck up. Let's go buy this so we can leave already."

He walked to the doorway to the rest of the store and watched me as I slowly got up. My heart was still wracking in my chest, but otherwise I was ok. We walked into the main men's section and a bunch of men and a few women fled. _Oh great, his screaming attracted an audience._

"Excuse me, sirs," a woman walked up to us. She was husky and wearing nice clothes and a nametag that said, 'Gertrude'.

"Yes?" Damien answered with a bit of contempt and annoyance in his voice.

She looked away and stuttered, obviously intimidated by him. "W-well, I was just checking to see if everything was all right."

"Oh, really? Everything is just utterly _amazing_, Ma'am," he gave an annoyed smile to go with his sarcastic statement. "You know what'd be _really_ nice? If you'd check out these clothes for us and keep your fat nose out of _our _business."

"Uwaghh? Well, I've never!" She glared at us and tromped off angrily.

"Damien!" I looked over at him, disgusted, "That was just plain mean! She was just making sure we were ok. You_ were_ yelling, you know."

"Yeah, whatever. She ran off instead of letting us by these clothes…" We looked around us and everyone would stop staring and pretend they weren't just gawking at us.

I pointed over to another corner of the store, "Over there. There's another cashier there."

We walked over and the woman behind the desk looked like she was going to have a heart attack. At first it seemed like she was hoping and praying that we weren't coming over and then it looked like panic seized her as she started flitting around at her counter. "Well, hello there young sirs!" She said as we approached the counter. She laughed nervously and awkwardly, "Ha, so what may I do for you?" _Her fake smile seems more like a grimace…_

"We need to check out," Damien said dryly. I could tell by now he was just agitated and annoyed.

"Oh! Of course!" She gave a huge smile-grimace and then quickly began ringing up the clothes. She nimbly put them in the bags as she did so and finished in just about a minute. _Damn, she must really want us to leave as soon as possible._ She scanned the last shirt and the total price popped up. "That will be-"

"Please don't," my voice came out meekly, but she managed to hear it.

"What?"

I looked at my shoes and held out my debit card. "I don't want to know. Just scan the card, please."

"Oh!" I could hear the surprise in her voice, but I didn't look up, even when she snatched the card out of my hand. I heard her scan it and then the receipt print. "Sir, I need you to sign this."

I looked up slowly and I took the card and receipt out of her hand. I noticed she heeded my wishes and folded the receipt where I couldn't see the number, just the dotted line. I quickly signed it with the pen on the counter before I shoved it back at her.

"Thank you sir! Have a nice day!" I looked up at her and she waved and laughed awkwardly at me. I walked away and Damien grabbed the bag. I looked over at him, but he was expressionless.

_Notice how she didn't say 'come back again.'_

_

* * *

_

Damien didn't fly down the road this time, he generally stayed only ten miles faster than the speed limit, and I was grateful. We were both silent and I would steal a glance at him every now and then. He looked drained. We were passing through a small town, actually it was bigger than South Park, and I glanced over at him to only see him staring at me through the corners of his eyes again. He watched me for a moment before he swerved in a u-turn.

"What are you doing!" I had to grab onto the door and seat to keep from smashing my face on the console.

He pulled into a parking lot and swerved again to the side of the building. When I looked up I saw a "What-a-burger" sign protruding from the snow a few meters away and realized we were in a drive-thru. "I'm hungry." He was staring straight ahead emotionlessly.

"You could have warned me…"

He didn't say anything until we got up to the voice-box and a cheery voice asked us for our order. "One moment please." He stared at the menu for a few seconds and then turned to me, "What do you want?"

"Oh? Uh, I'm not really hungry…"

He narrowed his eyes at me, "You said at the mall that you hadn't eaten yet, so pick something."

"But I don't want…" I trailed off when his eyes lit up and decided it was best to comply. "Ummm… I want…. a junior cheeseburger and… a Dr Pepper." He relayed our order and then pulled up to behind the car in front of us. I pulled out my wallet and began taking out my debit card.

"…You may not want to do that," I looked at him confusedly and he shifted his eyes to outside, "They charge you when you overdraw, don't they?"

I literally felt my heart sink. _There goes that new Patrick Wolf CD… _"Then we can't get this food, I don't have any other money."

He started digging in his back pocket and pulled out a black leather wallet. "I can buy this. It isn't much or anything…" He pulled up to the window and paid. A guy with horrible acne and braces handed him our food and drinks. Damien handed me my bag of food and he started eating his as he pulled onto the road.

"You can eat and dive at the same time?"

"I can do many things," he looked at me and then took a huge bite out of his burger.

"But…" I shut up and shoved a few fries in my face.

He shifted his gaze to me again and then sighed, "I'll drive below the speed limit ok?"

"Uh, thanks." He chomped down his burgers and fries quickly and I slowly ate mine.

"You don't eat much do you?"

"Huh?" I looked up from my food and saw him glancing at me again.

"Since I've been here it seems like you never eat unless forced."

"Oh… I just haven't been hungry the last few days…"

"It seems it's been more than a few days. You can't get that skinny by eating much."

I heard a whisper of '_no one will love you if you are fat_' snake to the forefront of my mind but I tried my best to ignore it. "I'm sorry? Why do you care?"

His grip strengthened on the wheel and I was afraid he would just rip it off. "I don't," he was talking through gritted teeth, "I was just stating a fact."

We were both quiet for a moment before I remembered something, "You know, you keep asking me questions."

"So?"

"I haven't gotten to ask you my questions." His knuckles looked like they were going to pop out and his jaw clenched at my mention of our deal.

"Three questions."

"What? I thought I was going to get to ask you as many as I wanted! You never said a certain amount!" I shoved the remains of my food in the bag, appetite lost to anger.

"What's your first question?"

"Don't ignore what I have to say!"

"Pip, _ask your question_," I knew not to press any further considering the amount of threat in his voice. _I have the strange feeling he would just pull over and leave me here if I pissed him off anymore._ I sighed.

"Well… I don't know what is more important to ask…" _The dream? His reason for being here? The promise? What happened in Hell? I don't know what to ask… I have so many questions… _"Well I guess… The promise in the dream. What did it mean?"

He paused before answering and his voice seemed slightly strained, "It means just what it says."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean? 'It means just what it says'. What kind of answer is that?"

"Are those your next two questions?"

"What! But you never answered my first one!" I gaped at him and his eyes kept shifting between me and the road with a pissed gleam shining in them.

"Yes I did. Now ask your next question."

I ground my teeth in anger and agitation started coursing in me. _I could totally punch the crap out of him right now… If I wasn't sure he'd kill me in one hit._ "_Fine_," I mumbled 'asshole' under my breath and I saw his eye twitch in annoyance, "What happened between you and your dad that made it where you had to come here?"

"We had a disagreement."

"Oh, _come on_. I already knew that. You have to elaborate."

He sighed and I was surprised he complied, "Well, he wants me to… fulfill my destiny and… well I don't want to."

I tried to swallow a gasp, "D-do you mean the apocalypse?"

He stared straight ahead at the road and showed no emotion, "Is that your final question?"

_Is it? Is there anything more important than that? _"No. My final question is… Why me?"

I saw surprise flicker on his face before he could hide it, "Why you?"

"Yeah."

He paused, "Because… because you are special."

"What?" _Me? Special? How can anything about me be special to the son of Satan? I'm just an ordinary guy…_ He didn't answer. "Can you elaborate?"

"Maybe at another time, when you've earned the right to know."

I felt betrayed and anger welled up in me, "What in the _hell_ is _that_ supposed to _mean_? You just tramp into my life almost ten year after you almost _killed_ me after haunting me in my dreams and then force me to let _you_ live in _my_ house and I don't have the _right_ to know what the _fuck_ is going on?" I was seething and barley resisting the urge to jump him right then and there. He was quiet and just stared at the road. My blood was boiling though and I couldn't contain myself. _Either I chance yelling at him more or I chance death by pouncing on him._ "What do you have to say for yourself!" He was quiet. "Answer me!" He kept his mouth clamped shut still. "_Answer me_, _you asshole!"_

Suddenly the car jerked and swerved to the right before it rummbled onto the snow beside the road. Damien exploded out of the car violently and slammed the door shut, the windows vibrating at the force. He walked around the front of the car and started walking towards some conifers growing in the woods next to the road.

"Damien! Damien where are you going!" I jumped out of the car and ran up behind him at the edge of the trees. "Damien! What are you doing? Damien?" I touched his shoulder and he abruptly turned on his heel and faced me. His eyes were glowing like they were at the mall, his nostrils flared, and his jaw clenched tightly. He just stared at me and when I reached out to him he slapped my hand away.

_Snap._ I lunged at him, my body acting without my thinking brain's permission. I saw his eyes widen in surprise as we fell to the ground. My whole body was burning at all the contact with him, but my blood was boiling far hotter than the temperature of his body. I was breathing raggedly and my primal brain gained complete control. I felt my arm pull back instinctively and then punch him as hard as I could in the chest. I kept beating at his chest as I sat on top of him. _What am I doing?_ Thoughts started to break through the haze my brain was in and I realized I wasn't dead and he wasn't beating the life out of me.

I looked down at him and saw that his eyes were huge and clear, the glowing and rage gone, and he looked completely astounded. He just stared at me and me at him. My brain finally caught up with what I just did. _Oh my god. I… I just attacked him. I just attacked him… I can't believe I did that. Oh, god! He's going to want to kill me!_

"Damien! I'm sorry! I'm so, so, so sorry! I didn't mean it! Don't be angry at me! I'm sorry!" I kept chanting 'I'm sorry' and I then the world started to go hazy. _I'm crying?_ The realization I was crying just made me cry harder and chant faster. I covered my face in shame and just continued.

"Pip?" Damien broke my chant I gazed at him through my tears. _Why doesn't he sound angry? I just attacked him!_ "Why are you crying and why are you sorry?"

"Huh?" _What does he mean 'why'?_

"There's no reason for you to be crying and you were completely in the right_. _I angered you to the point that you snapped… I seem to have a habit of making people do that." I felt myself gawking at him. "You shouldn't be saying you're sorry. If anyone should be apologizing, it should be me." He started to sit up and my body became hypersensitive to the fact that I was straddling him. _Oh god. _"Though, I am not going to apologize for you were the one who attacked _me_." I wiped the remaining tears out of my eyes and saw the slightly puzzled look in his eyes. "I never knew you had enough balls to do that."

"I didn't either. I've never done anything like that."

"I can tell. And I can also tell why you would get a black eye like that because you hit like a girl. And not even a strong girl, more like an anorexic little girl. Which you might secretly be for all I know." He put on a sheepish, one sided grin and I couldn't help but laugh. _I'm so stupid._

"So you aren't mad at me?"

He gave me a look like I was an idiot, "Why would I be? I already said it was my fault. Don't be stupid, Pip." He sat all the way up and I fell backwards off of him like a splay-legged idiot with an "Oomph!" I was lying on my back between his legs and with mine wrapped around his hips. I couldn't help but turn scarlet when I realized what position we were in. He raised an eyebrow at me, "Curious position you are in right there," I felt my face go even redder, "I don't really mind, but don't you think you are going to get sick if we just sit here in the snow? Aren't you cold?"

"Uh, sure," I lied. _To tell the truth the heat radiating off of him is sweltering. I didn't even notice we were in the snow… Snow! Gahh, I need to move! _I sat up awkwardly and crawled sideways off of him. _Oh god, I just know my ass must've been in his face when I did that._ I stood up abruptly and started dusting the snow off of myself. I looked over at him and he busted into laughter. "What?" I felt my face flood with even more blood somehow.

He stood up and calmed down, "Ha, nothing, Pip, nothing." He walked over to the car and got in. I just stood there looking like an idiot and feeling confused. "You coming?" he yelled out of the still open passenger door.

"Uh, yeah," my face was blazing and I felt frustrated. I sighed and got in. _Fuck my life._

_

* * *

_

After Note:

Sorry I took a billion years to update. ;-; I'm chock full of my useless excuses, but I'm not going to waste time listing them. I want to warn ya'll, though. The updates might be really slow from now on, I'm in my second semester of college and it's kicking my ass. I shouldn't have taken Botany, Principles of Cell and Molecular Biology, and College Algebra at the same time. It's horrid. As I write this I have 3 more exams to take this week and I already had one. And this is just the first round of exams. :| I'll quit whining now… XD

For those of you who are like, "OMG, WTF is a What-a-burger?" What-a-burger is the best burger chain in the history of time, but I think they are mainly only in the south. But, because I am God, I magically made one appear in Colorado. Oh, and FYI, if you want to know how to really say its name, like a Texan, say "Wadderburger." No not like a wad of money wad, but like water. I have come to realize that with my accent I don't say "water", I say "wadder". And now I feel like a hick. XD

And yet again **pleaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaase **review! :D I like knowing what people think of the story so far. Thank joooooooo.

Main inspiration during the chapter: Patrick Wolf, especially his _Lycanthropy_ CD. (And yes, I am infamous for putting characteristics of me into my characters in case you were wondering.) And also some guy at school who was wearing Stan's hat. :3

Damien:

"I want to buy a lighthouse and ride a giraffe on the rocks/ I don't give up/ I want… two dogs, two cats, a big kitchen and a welcome mat/ I want all this, and all I shall have/ I don't give up/ A boy like me don't ever/ Give up/ Give up his dream/No." – Patrick Wolf "A Boy Like Me."

Pip:

"I saw, I saw my star tonight/ Mama, the stars are burning bright/ And it came clear, that the light years/ Are here and lost/ I laughed, I cried/ The death, the life/ And all unseen came into sight/ The pole, the scales/ The dark, the light/ Mama, Papa, voila!/ The night!/ … So now, to the one with the never ending invisible scars…/ Look up, look up!/ The stars!" – Patrick Wolf "The Stars"


	6. Verum

Temporary before note: I don't know wtf is up with the document editor, but if this is fucked up I will fix it ASAP. I'm having trouble with stupid ff. net

**Warning:** Gore

Verum:

The trip home was quiet and I felt awkward the whole time. Damien seemed relaxed as he sped along the highway, but I could see a bit of tension held in his brow. The radio softly played out the Denver rock station and I zoned out and listened to it, only recognizing a few songs. _Today was horrible._

_ And it's not even over._

The voice shot through my psyche like a bullet, severing my train of thought and signaling to the nerves in my stomach to fire and clench the muscle. _You're back. Great._

_ Did you miss me?_

_ Of course… not. Fuck off._

_ Aww, don't be so mean to your only friend._

_ You aren't my friend._

_ Then you are friendless._

_ I wouldn't say so…_

_ Don't tell me you think Damien is your friend or something._

_ Well…_

_ Ha! Really? Are you that sad that you can't see through the bullshit?_

_ Bullshit?_

_ He's a grade A artist, that one._

_ Huh?_

_ He's bullshitting you to get what he wants. That's why he flipped out on you. You are so annoying and pathetic that he almost blew his cover._

_ He's not bullshitting me. If he is, then this is the worst I've ever seen._

_ You say that, but you are in love with him._

_ What! No I'm not! I can't be in love with a guy. It just isn't possible._

_ You are in denial._

_ I am not!_

_ You are so far in denial I think it's almost impossible for you to see it. Almost though. I'll make you see what a deviant you are. You're a worthless homosexual and no one loves you. And no one ever will._

_ You're lying…_

_ You know I am the truth. You know it. You know what I say is right. What I say will plant seeds in the back of your mind and then they will fester, its roots wrapping around every neuron and axon, consuming your every thought until you end it all. And I'll be waiting, watching, and relishing the putrid rot of your brain and soul. Haha! I cannot wait to see the day when your rotten carcass will be stripped away by the hungry mouths of worms._

"Pip? Pip? Are you alright?"

I gasped, "Huh?" I blinked dumbly and saw Damien looking over at me confusedly.

"I don't think your dad's crappy car can withstand that vice grip you got going on."

I looked down and noticed my hand was clutching the side of the door so hard that my knuckles were white and my arm was shaking violently. "Oh." I let go and gave him a sheepish smile.

"We're almost to South Park. Is there anything you wanted to do before we go to your house?"

"Oh, uh, no. I'm fine." _All I want to do is go home and grab hold of my silver little friend… Oh, god. When did I start thinking this way?_

For the rest of the ride my mind hissed with negative words and spun with images of gleaming metal. I rode with my eyes clenched shut, hoping Damien would think I fell asleep. Anticipation crept through my veins, souring my stomach and the burger and fries that resided in it. _I just want to be alone now… _

I felt the car pull into the driveway and slowly opened my eyes. I dragged myself out, my feet felt as they were made of lead and my legs struggled to pull them along. _ Why do I feel like this all of a sudden?_ Damien went inside and I followed after him. Father was in the living room, watching his precious TV, so we went upstairs to my room.

Damien plopped himself down on my bed. "Where's your TV remote?" I looked around my room before finding and handing it to him. He turned it on and started flipping through the channels.

"I'm going to the lavatory," I said before walking out. I walked in the bathroom and locked the bathroom door before flying to the hiding spot. I pulled out one of the razors and stared at the shining surface for a moment. _Do I really want to continue doing this to myself? It's sad, pathetic, and dangerous._

_But it's also wonderful feeling, stress relieving, and makes me go awaaaaayyyyy._

I grabbed the gauze and pulled it away, leaving it stuck enough that I could redo it. _Mother would start asking questions if I asked her to buy gauze because I ran out…_ I picked up the razor and a feeling akin to jubilation flooded my pathways as the cold metal took over my hand.

I walked back into my room to find Damien rummaging through one of my drawers. "What the hell are you doing?"

"You know, that phrase doesn't really have any negative connotations to me. It has about as much effectiveness as someone shouting 'what the puppies.'" He sighed and closed the drawer he was looking through.

"Why are you looking through my stuff?" _If he wanted to piss me off, that was one sure fire way to do it._

"I was just looking to see if you had any money stashed anywhere," he turned to me and gave me a pure bred ass-hole smile.

"Don't go through my stuff! I didn't say you could. Anyway, you used all my money this morning."

He sighed, "I guess I'll just have to use my money. Anyway, I'll be back in a little while."

"What, where are you going?"

"The store. I forgot some things. Bye," he walked out of my room nonchalantly and then down the stairs.

"Wait! You aren't taking Father's car, are you?" I watched him from atop the stairs.

"Well, I'm not going to walk."

"But-" He had already ran out the door though, so I sighed in defeat. _He's the son of Satan; he can take care of himself… and hopefully Father's car. I don't feel like stressing over this… _I went back in my room and turned the TV and the light off. I took my jacket and shoes off before curling up in my bed and passing into oblivion.

* * *

"Hot…" My body groggily woke my brain up, complaining of being suffocated. "Hungghhhhh…" I felt my clothes stick to me with my own sweat as my senses woke up more. _Why am I all sweaty? _I felt something tickle the back of my neck and my eyes flew open. I sat up and saw Damien lying beside me on my bed. "Agggh!" I fell out of the bed in my panic that ensued. Damien woke up with a glare in his eyes.

"Shut up. You are going to wake everyone in your house."

"What the hell are you doing in my bed?"

"Having a tea party. What the hell do you think I'm doing? I _was _asleep. Now I'm just annoyed."

"Why were you in bed with _me_?"

He sighed, "Well, I defiantly wasn't going to sleep in that pretend bed."

"How long have you been in the bed with me?"

"Since ten or so? Why is it such a big deal?"

"Ten? What time is it now?" I searched around in the dark for my alarm clock and when succeeding, lit up the display, "It's six in the morning? I've been asleep for that long?"

"I guess. Now shut up, because I haven't and I'd like to sleep more."

I sighed, "Okay. Just let me-" Someone knocked on the door.

"Pip? Are you awake? I was just about to tell you that you need to get ready because we are going to leave to pick Amelia up in about an hour," Mother said behind the door.

"Can you just ask her if I can stay here while you are gone?" He huffed and crawled under the covers.

_It would be nice to not be in his presence, especially when he is in this kind of mood._ I opened the door and faced my mother. "Mother, Damien wants to know if he can stay here while we go to get Amelia."

Mother leaned behind me and shut the door before facing me. "I'd rather him come. While he's at our house, I assume he is our responsibility, and I need him to follow the rules. He nearly broke them last night, so I'm sorry if I can't trust him outright to behave himself."

"What'd he do?"

"Well, for one, he came back exactly at curfew."

"Isn't the point of a curfew is that it's the time you have to come home?"

Annoyance crossed her face; I've never been one for talking back. "No, curfew is the latest you can come home before getting in trouble. But, that's not the only thing. I had to remind him to do the dishes three times."

"But he did them?"

"Well, yes."

"Then what's the problem?"

Her eye twitched and I felt panic fill me. _I've never made her that angry before._ "It's not the act, but the prospect that we had to ask three times. What's more is that certain young man didn't exactly do his chores either because he slept the day away." My face must have conveyed my guilt and panic because hers softened. She gave an exasperated sigh before touching my shoulder to reassure me. "Don't worry. I'm not that angry with you. You never get in trouble; you should be allowed the teenage slip-ups every now and then."

I relaxed immediately and gave mother a tentative smile. She returned the gesture and went to turn away, but I grabbed her shoulder. "Wait, how come you never told me Amelia was coming home? I thought she was still looking for a job in Nebraska?"

"We all know that you and Amelia don't exactly get along, so I thought it might be better to just surprise you and… I don't know. Hopefully make you reevaluate her as a person and start to like your sister. She's changed you know. She's much more mature now and she said she hopes you two can work out your differences," she gave a dismayed look to the floor before she looked back up at me, "And she's coming home because she couldn't find any jobs in the Bellevue area, so she decided to come look around here and in the Denver area. And it just so happens that the South Park ISD is looking for a counselor right now, so she flew down extra early for a job interview on Monday. One of her school mates at BU is sending her stuff down for her and then she'll be all settled in until everything works out." She smiled joyously, but I felt sour inside. "Aw, come on, Phillip. Be happy! Your big sis is coming home and she has been gone for so long!"

"Five years isn't that long."

She scrunched her face in disapproval, "Speaking of long, how long is Damien planning on staying here?"

"Oh… uh… I guess until he patches things up with his dad…" I tried to swallow the panic that was rising._ I wish I knew._

"What exactly happened between them?"

"I don't really know… He doesn't like to talk about it."

"Maybe your father and I could talk to his father and-"

"Excuse me for being rude and eavesdropping," Damien interrupted mother by opening the door and sticking his head out, "But you cannot speak to my father."

Mother blinked in surprise at his sudden appearance. "Wh-why?"

Damien came out the rest of the way and immediately I felt my eyes gravitate towards his exposed torso. I looked away, embarrassed, until I saw that my mother was also looking there. Jealously and a general sense of being creeped out mixed in with my other feelings.

"Because, quite frankly, I do not know where he is. You see… My father is a…" He stopped mid sentence and looked down at the floor for a beat before bringing his eyes up. His eyes glistened in the light and for a moment I thought he was going to cry, but, for some reason, I could tell it was an act. Something about his eyes gave it away, other than it being totally uncharacteristic for him. "My father is an alcoholic drug addict," mother gasped, "and he has been missing for the past few weeks. The reason I came to Pip is because the power and water has been shut off and I have no money for food or to turn on the utilities…"

Mother reached out and hugged Damien, making me involuntarily curl my nose in disgust. Damien gazed over at me, the moisture gone from his eyes and a sadistic joy replacing it. I could see a bit of a smirk peaking out of the bear hug my mother held him in for a few overly awkward seconds. Mother let go and had an overly sympathetic look on her face while the tears returned to Damien's. _I'm going to really have to watch him if he is that good of an actor. Who knows if he has been playing me for a fool the whole time? What if this has all been just a bunch of bull shit?_

"Oh, Damien. I'm so sorry, I had no clue. That's so horrible. And all of this happening to such a nice young man… You may stay as long as you have to. Our house is your house." She grabbed him reassuringly on the shoulder and gave him an empathetic smile. He returned with a fake timid smile. I could see the twinkle in his eyes, and it had nothing to do with the water in them; it gave him away completely.

"And I assure you, _Augustine_, that I shall commit to your rules from this moment on, and that I am sorry for any past transgressions against you." I could practically see her heart melting at his charm and I had to fight the urge to puke.

"Why of course, Damien," her grin widened, "Now hurry along now and get ready, boys. We need to leave soon." Damien and I both gave her a smile and she turned and left into her bedroom.

"Damn, all that bullshit and she still doesn't trust me enough to let me stay by myself."

* * *

The trip to the Denver airport felt like it took an eternity. The four hour trip seemed to stretch itself into a behemoth like mutant baby of an all too aware body's hormones and a brooding sense of impending doom. Of course the body referring to mine and it's consciousness of the spawn sitting a mere foot away and the impending doom to my sister's presence waiting for us.

We pulled up to the parking garage and my brain fumed with dismaying thoughts. _God, I freaking hate Amelia._ _ Why?_ _ You freaking know why. She is a bitch who has always liked making fun of me and hitting me whenever her bipolar self freaked out._

_ I guess mental disorders run in the family._

_ What is that supposed to mean?_

_ You better hope she doesn't see through you. And she should, especially with her fancy degree. Even a child can see what you are hiding through that thin veneer._

_ Oh, shut up. She's too much of a self centered bitch to see past the end of her crooked nose._

_ How would you know? You haven't seen her since three Christmas' ago. She could be a completely different person._

_ I highly doubt it._

_ A few days ago you highly doubted you'd ever see the son of Satan again._

The doors of the car slamming shut disturbed my thought process and I realized we were parked and getting out to get Amelia from arrivals area of the terminal. I got out last and dragged behind until Damien slowed to keep pace with me. He looked indifferently towards his surroundings but gave me a questioning look as he noticed that I kept dragging behind at a slower and slower pace.

"What's up with you?"

"What's it matter to you?" He prickled at my uncharacteristic answer and gave a slight glare. _Crap. I must have caught the douche disease from him._

He walked between me and my parents for the rest of the trek to Amelia. Whenever I got a glimpse at his face, his jaw would be set and his mouth in tight line. I recognized my sister right away. Though her hair was different, she had it dyed a deep red and cut in a trendy bob, everything else was the same. From her nose's slight crook stemming from a renegade soft ball that I threw in the fifth grade, to her crystal blue eyes that were an exact reflection of mine, and to the slight aggression that was always evident in her frame; there was no mistaking her. Only there was more than slight aggression swarming around in her today; I could see it creasing her brows from across the terminal.

"Amelia!" Mother yelled and Amelia finally noticed us coming closer. I was surprised to see her face relax once she saw mother.

"Momma!" Amelia grabbed her luggage and closed the difference between mother and her. They embraced each other in big hugs and confusion started to swarm in my brain. _Momma? I thought we agreed on what to call them a long time ago. And she is _hugging_ mother? What the hell?_

_ You should listen to me more often. You wouldn't be surprised as often if you did._

They disengaged and Amelia turned and hugged father. "Dad!" Father hugged her slightly but Amelia continued to hold on almost as if for dear life. They let go significantly sooner and she turned towards me. Her eyes locked into mine and I felt myself instantly scowl. _Its bad enough looking at mine… but seeing hers… reminds me so much of mom. _It was a trait we both inherited from mom, all the way down to the golden flecks around the pupils. She just stared at me for a moment and then hugged me. I stood still, not wanting to return the affectionate gesture.

"Phillip," she sighed, "Please?" I stood stubbornly. "I'm not letting go until you hug me back." I stood still until I looked under my hair towards Damien. He had a huge smirk plastered on his face and I heard a snort come from his silent laughter. My face flushed in embarrassment, but I hugged her slightly, which was enough for her to finally let go. Everyone looked around awkwardly, except for Damien who was trying to hide his sneer behind his palm.

"Who's this?" Amelia locked her eyes on Damien and looked questionably at him.

"Damien, Damien Thorne. I'm Pip's friend," He went out to her with his cheesy smile that won mother over and stuck his hand out to shake. She just stared at his hand, making his smile falter for a second before he withdrew his hand. He kept the million dollar smile on his face, but I could see a bit of confusion taint his eyes.

"Why are you here?" She held a dubious and suspicious look on her face. It slightly unnerved me. _Why isn't she won over by his charm like everyone else?_ Damien, always the masterful actor, toned down his smiley façade for the somber statement, "I've seemed to fall on some trouble at home and Phillip and your family offered me their home until it is all settled out."

Amelia continued to stare at him, so mother decided to break the silence. "Ok everybody, let's get home!" Mother smiled brightly as father grabbed Amelia's bags. We all started walking back the way we came, Amelia in stride with my parents and Damien hanging back with me.

"She seems to make you hot under the collar, my dear Philip." Damien tugged on my collar mockingly, revealing some forgotten bruises and making me angrily blush.

"Shut up, asshole." I swatted his hand away and sunk into my hoodie.

He snickered, "I can see why, though."

"W-what do you mean?" _There is no way he knows that she reminds me of mom. He's never seen my mom._

"She's a complete bitch."

"Finally, some who agrees with me," I laughed in relief.

"How could I not? Only someone who has a heart made of ice couldn't be swayed by my charms," Damien looked her over from where we slugged behind, "Though, I must say, it would probably be great fun to make it melt." _WHAT? _I felt jealously immediately spike in me and I tried to shove it down, but Damien must have seen the sour look on my face.

"Don't worry, Pip. I don't have time to corrupt your poor sister. I have other much more important things to attend to." _Thank God, he just thought I didn't like the thought of him and her just for the fact that she is my sister, not that I was jealous of the thought… Because I am not._

_Liar._

I decided to try and ignore _him_, "What exactly are these important things you have to attend too?" His eyes flashed towards Amelia and I followed his gaze. She was staring back at us, not even trying to disguise it.

"Maybe I shall tell you later," Amelia looked back at my parents and Damien grinned, "But then again, maybe I shall not."

_Asshole._

* * *

Damien and I were squished up against each other in the backseat of the car. I sat in the middle and tried my best to stay away from both parties sitting beside me, but Damien apparently felt the need to sprawl out. His legs were pushing into my left hip, but all I had to think of to keep my bodies awareness of him in check was my sister. Amelia sat right smack up against me too, which I thoroughly did not appreciate. _And I thought the ride in took forever… _We pulled through a drive thru and got lunch. Amelia kept staring at every move Damien or I made. _What the hell is her problem?_

When we arrived at home I ran up to my room and was surprised to see that Damien was following me close behind. We went in and I shut the door. "What, does she annoy the hell out of you too?"

"Ah, so this is apparently a common occurrence."

I sighed and threw off my jacket, "Yeah." He grabbed the remote and flipped on the TV.

"I don't know how you humans can handle all this boredom all the time," he fell onto my bed with a huff and stared at the screen, "Especially the amount of boredom like in a place like here. Why doesn't everyone just live in the city or something? South Park doesn't have enough scandal going on right now. I'm just itching to start some fun."

"I think you being here is enough scandal," I sat down at the opposite end of the bed and stared at the images flashing across the screen. "What do you mean 'you humans'?"

Damien lunged on me from across the bed and held me down, producing an embarrassing yelp. "You think I'm scandalous, Pip?" _Oh God, he's on top of me. _His expression was playful and he held an arrogant smirk. _I can't let him get the best of me._ I somewhat reluctantly, yet forcefully, pushed him off. He landed gracefully back in his spot and he laughed heartily. "You embarrass so easily it's almost not fun. Almost."

"You are just trying to change the subject," I started to yell, but remembered that this wasn't exactly the correct place to yell at or thing to yell. My face was burning, but not as hot as my anger.

"What subject? You were just saying how I was 'scandalous enough'." He put on an amused face, but they way he suddenly flipped through the TV channels with the remote showed that he was becoming irked.

"Yes, but then I asked you a question." He fell silent, so I pressed on, "What, exactly, are you?" He set his jaw and pretended to be absorbed in the TV show. "Come on Damien. I know you are the son of Satan. And I know you will probably say something like 'I can't trust you yet' or 'It's too horrible for such a puny human' or something, but come on! I would like to know what is sleeping beside me at night!"

"You make it sound dirty."

I felt my face flush again, "Quit that!"

"Quit what?" I saw his mouth twitch, re-infuriating me.

"You know exactly what! Explain to me!" I grabbed his shoulder and made him look at me, my action surprising both of us. I leaned back and was able to meekly utter, "I'm sorry."

He sighed, "I guess I can explain some things. I really am getting tired of keeping quiet. And I guess if you want to back out, I can always force you." He grinned deviously at me.

"Wh-what? You will?" I sighed in relief, "Wait. I thought you said you wouldn't hurt me?"

"I said I would _try_ not to hurt you."

"That's reassuring."

"Listen, do you want to know, or not? If not, quit wasting my time. I could be watching mind-numbing television right now."

"I do! Please tell me." I turned to face him and sat cross legged and with my head in my hands, but my eyes concentrated on him.

"Are you sure? You look afraid." He looked amusedly at me as he turned to face me.

"Quit teasing me and explain already, asshole."

"You are no fun," he frowned overdramatically.

"So I've been told about a hundred times the past few days," I rolled my eyes at him.

"Fine then." He inhaled deeply before rubbing his eyes with the heels of his hands. "I don't exactly know how to explain it; even though I've been alive long enough you would think I would have come up with one…"

"How old are you?"

"Older than you."

"Seriously, Damien. Quit playing games with me. Just spit it out."

"I was made during the Medieval period… so around twelve-hundred years or so," he looked me straight in the eye as he said this and for some reason I knew it was true. I could feel it in my gut. He paused, I guess to make sure I wasn't going to freak out, but I just kind of felt numb and accepted it.

"What do you mean made?" _That's a strange choice of words to describe someone's birthday._

"Exactly what I said. I wasn't conceived. I was created." He paused again and it seemed like his eyes began to smolder in their sockets. They bore into mine and the feeling of my soul being sucked out, like the other day, returned. I broke the contact and stared at the rumpled comforter that bulged between us. "There was a lot of rebellion against the church in Europe, so offerings to my dad increased. God and my dad thought it was a good idea to use the surplus souls to go ahead and proceed in their plans. So my soul was created by my father with the souls of the damned…" I looked up and he was staring intently at me. "What you see before you now is completely different, though."

"Huh?"

"My soul was made twelve-hundred years ago, but this body was not. It was made only seventeen years ago. My soul is an enigma, even to myself, but my body is much simpler to explain. My body is half human and half demon." All I could manage was to blink at him as he just kind of looked at his hands. He looked up and saw my confused look and laughed. "I obviously look human, but I know you must have noticed some odd things about me."

"Like you fangs, your eyes, and your temperature."

"Among other things, but you don't really need to know about those…"

"Okay…" I rubbed my face and felt completely overwhelmed. Damien grabbed my wrists and brought my hands away from my face. Their absence was replaced by embarrassed pink. He let go and looked me in the eye.

"So how do you feel about this?" I looked down and poked the comforter. "I don't know… It's a lot of information to process…"

"Either way it doesn't matter."

"Huh? I-" Someone knocked on the door. "Yes?"

"It's me," _Amelia_, "Can I talk to you?"

"Why?"

"Please, Phillip." I heaved a sigh and got up.

I leaned over towards Damien and whispered, "We'll finish this later." He nodded and I met Amelia out in the hallway. "What?" She touched my shoulder, to pull me along, and I shook her off. "Don't touch me."

"Phillip… Don't be that way." She started walking towards the bathroom and I followed her.

"How do you expect me to act, traitor?"

"Traitor? What in the bloody hell is that supposed to mean?" She turned to face me in the threshold of the bathroom and gave me an incredulous look.

"You know why," I whispered so no one besides us could hear, "Mom and Dad wouldn't be happy, though I'm sure Mother and Father were." Her face contorted in anger. _Now that's the Amelia I know and hate._

"Are you insinuating that I'm betraying our birth parents?"

"_Birth parents? Birth parents?_ You make it sound as if we are just some orphans that were dropped off at birth, not two kids who had their loving parents ripped away from them in a horrible car accident!" I had to suppress the urge to yell. _I've become so easy to anger lately…_

"You can't deny Augustine and Bertrand have become our real parents now. For God's sake, they have actually raised you longer than our birth parents!"

"I don't care, no matter what our uncle and aunt shall never replace our _real_ parents. You are just a traitorous bitch."

"Phillip! What in the bloody hell is wrong with you? When did you turn into this snarky, impetuous, vulgar boy? What happened to the sweet brother who would be kind to me when I actually was a bitch? I mean look at you! You've got a black eye and bandages all over your arm! What happened to you, Phillip?" _Fuck, I forgot my jacket._ She grabbed my arm where the bandages were, earning a cry of pain from me. I jerked my arm away and tumbled into the opposite wall.

"What the fuck is your problem?"

"Phillip, Amelia! What is going on up there?" I heard mother yell from downstairs, but I ignored her because Amelia turned around and held a towel in front of her. A blood soaked towel. _Holy fuck. I forgot to take care of that._

"What's this, Phillip? Does it have anything to do with that?" She pointed at my arm.

"Where did you get that?"

"Underneath the sink. I was unpacking and putting my toiletries in the bathroom when I found this. Phillip, why was there a bloody cloth hidden under the sink? Did something happen to you? Or your friend? Did he hurt you?" I felt my mouth was agape. _Oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck. _"I know we haven't been very close, but you can tell me if something is going on, Phillip!"

"What's going on? Is something wrong? Why are you two fighting?" Mother snuck up behind me, making me jump.

"Ah, nothing, mother!" I looked nervously between mother's confused face and Amelia's pissed one. I gave mother a half- hearted smile and eyed Amelia. She hid the towel behind her back and I was grateful for the small mercy from my sister. "Everything is fine, isn't it Amelia?"

She narrowed her eyes at me before slowly saying, "Of course…"

"Are you sure?" Mother blinked confusedly.

"Very." I flashed a huge smile, hoping she would be satisfied and leave.

"Well, okay… If either of you need to talk to someone, I'm just down the stairs watching the telly with Bertrand…" She lingered for a moment before turning and going down the stairs. I turned and looked at Amelia. _I just want to leave…_ The panic had fizzled out my anger.

"Phillip… What's going on with you?" She stared at me. All anger evaporated from her face and her eyes were pleading. _Should I tell her?_

_What could she do? Anything she would do for you would hurt you._

_How so?_ _If she finds out what you do to yourself or you tell her about Damien she would put you in a mental ward. She is a fucking psychologist; she knows how to get you in there._

_I don't want to go to the nut house!_

_You can't go. It would ruin everything. You can never tell anyone about what you do to yourself, Damien, or me. They'd throw a crazy fag like you in a padded room and never let you out. You would be stuck in a room with me forever, away from anyone or anything you love…_

"Phillip? Is something wrong?" She held a skeptical look on her face.

"_Just_- Just leave me alone, alright?" I ran my hands through my hair in stress before running into my room and closing the door. I leaned on it and sighed before I remembered Damien was there. He was just sitting on my bed, staring calmly. I started moving towards the bed before he talked.

"What was that all about?"

"Fuck off." He smirked, but his eyes glowered.

"You are so nice to me. You need to just quite being so sweet. I might vomit if you go on another minute like that."

"Yet again, fuck off. I don't feel like talking about it, okay?" I started pulling the comforter out from under him. "And can you get off my bed? I want to take a nap."

"Didn't you just sleep more than twelve hours yesterday?"

"So?"

"There is no way you are tired."

"How the fuck would you know how I feel? You don't share my body." He cocked an eyebrow.

"Someone is feisty today," he grinned, "I think I quite like this Pip." He stood and touched my jaw with his index finger before whispering in my ear, "I could share your body if you like." My heart tried to pop out of my chest and I jumped away with a blood red face. He started cackling and I started getting pissed again.

"Quit fucking with me like that, damn it!"

"Who said I was _fucking_ with you?" He had a huge smirk plastered on his face and I had to fight every urge to knock it off.

"Shut the hell up, asshole."

"If I did I wouldn't be able to tell you that your phone rang while you were having bonding time with your sister."

"What?" _Who would be calling me?_

"Yup. About five minutes ago." He pointed to my cell phone that was sitting on my nightstand.

"Who was it?"

"I don't know. I was being a good boy and didn't answer."

"Liar, you were doing the opposite just to piss me off." I grabbed my cell phone and opened it.

"I'm sorry. Seeing you angry just makes me warm and fuzzy inside."

I glared at him before I looked down. I read the screen and it said I had one missed call from a number I didn't recognize. _Who could that have been? It's a local number… _I was about to flip it closed and put it down when it rang and vibrated, scaring the bejeesus out of me and earning a snicker from Damien. I ignored him and opened it. It was a text message from the same number that called me earlier. It read, "Pippi y did u ignore my call? O wel u can jus make up 4 it 2moro. ;p"

I could only just stare at it as my stomach sunk. _Kenny. What does he have planned?_ Hopelessness flooded my body. _I can't handle this… but I can't go in the bathroom and relieve it with Amelia so suspicious… _I deleted the message and sat my phone back down on the nightstand.

"Who was it?"

"I don't know. They had the wrong number." I slipped off my shoes and crawled under the covers in the space on the bed that Damien didn't occupy. He raised his eyebrow at me, but I ignore him and pulled the covers up over my head. I messed with the wounds under my bandage in a pathetic attempt to achieve the same effect, but when that didn't really help I fell asleep.

* * *

-_"Hahahahahaha! Stupid Frenchie!" Cartman yelled across the eighth grade classroom while pointing at me. "Look! He can't even do algebra! He's a stupid French faggot!" The teacher had walked out upon a call from the principal's office. Everyone else had almost finished the whole assignment while I was still struggling with the first problem._

_ "I'm not French and I'm not stupid…" I muttered under my breath and continued to figure out wrong sums._

_ "What was that Frenchie?" Cartman bent down, his hot breath, smelly breath sticking to my skin._

_ "N-n-nothing, E-eric." I gave him a sheepish smile._

_ "N-n-n-n-n-n-nothing my ass," he mocked my frightened stuttering and accent._

_Everything went hazy for a moment before the shape of Cartman in the middle school bathroom became definitive. He was standing over me with a sneer and his fist clenched. I wanted to scream but I couldn't because Kenny's hand covered my mouth and his other forced my jaw closed. He leered down at me and gave a smile that for some unknown reason struck fear in my heart._

_Cartman's fist approached my face in slow motion and I winced. _I can make it stop_, something in my head spoke to me,_ Just let me in and I can take the pain for you. Would you like that, sweet Phillip? _Eric's hand made contact with my face and all I could think was _oh God, please_. The pain stopped. I could see Cartman's fist hitting my eye before swirls of color ignited like my own personal firework show, but I felt nothing._

_Cartman's fist was lodged in my eye socket while the world stood upright. We were in the courtyard in front of the high school now. I started falling backwards on contact again in slow motion, but this time pain flooded my body and I screamed. _Why does it hurt so much,_ I thought mid-air,_ I thought you said you'd never let me feel the pain?_ Laughter rang in my mind as my ass made contact with the cement, sending pain waves up my spinal column. As the back of my head crunched against the sidewalk _he_ talked. _I've suffered so much in your place. I'm tired of suffering for a stupid French fag. It's your turn, kiddo._ Screams of agony ripped through my lips as long forgotten pain attacked my body._

_I closed my eyes to only open them and find myself on the ground near Stark's Pond under a barren winter tree. I started leaning forward to get up when a body suddenly pinned me down. A scream choked in my throat as my body recognized the familiar touch. Kenny leered down at me with a twisted smile and crazed eyes before giggling hysterically._

_"Pippy, why did you ignore my call?" he frowned and pushed my arms above my head, "Oh well. You can just make up for it… now." He licked the side of my face before putting his mouth on my ear. "I missed you," he whispered before biting it. A scream finally broke through my diaphragm. He glared down at me, "That better have been a scream of pleasure." He was about an inch from my face and encroaching when a strange noise sounded above our heads in the dead tree._

_"Wha-" Kenny began to say before he was flung off of me. Snarls like a dog's filled the air and soon Kenny's screams of anguish joined, turning into a disturbing symphony of death. I curled into a ball and covered my eyes, afraid of what was going on. When the noise stopped I opened them and sat up to see what was happening._

_I instantly regretted it. Body parts were strewn about the snow and blood stained it a beautiful shade of red. A few feet away the eyes that haunted my dreams stared into mine. I vomited up bile when I realized that the eyes were in Kenny's decapitated head. I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand and looked past the ends of the gore to see a figure standing there. _

_At first I thought it was Damien, and it was, but he was completely different. Blood and chunks of meat stained his skin like ink does paper. His mouth was curved into a satisfied grin and all his teeth were pointed, but his canines were exaggeratedly huge and sharp. His eyes were completely red, even the corneas, and glowing slightly. Ram's horns jutted out of his forehead and curved in tight loops behind his head. He sneered at me and wiped the blood and guts off his face like I did my vomit from mine. When he did so I noticed that his fingers were deformed and tapered into razor sharp claws. He licked the rest of the blood from his lips with a forked tongue before he smiled sweetly at me. The image of him smiling with bits of flesh stuck between his carnivorous teeth sent chills down my spine._

_"Aren't I a good _friend_, Pip?" A voice came out of his mouth, but it sounded more garbled and deeper than his normal one. "I saved you, Pip. How shall you repay me, hm?" His smile morphed from a kind one into a perverse grin. "I am quite hungry and I've found that the souls of the innocent are the most fulfilling. I especially need one now to get the bitter taste from that heathen's out of my mouth." He walked slowly towards me and licked his lips. "You always smell of it, so I'm pretty sure you shall taste like chocolate." I whimpered and his eyes softened. "Don't worry. I'll rip your soul out first so that it won't hurt when I consume the rest of you. I made a promise, remember?" He laughed and smiled one last time at me before lunging and uttering a guttural, primal snarl._

I screamed and thrashed about until I fell onto the ground._ What?_

"Damn it, Pip! Watch where you are flailing," Damien held his nose in his hand and glared at me, "If anyone else did that I'd have ripped their throat out." He snarled at me and in a panic I stumbled up. I got halfway across the room before I fell over the 'pretend' bed. I fell against my armoire and bruised my shoulder.

"Fuck!" Tears streamed down my face and I rubbed my shoulder with my other hand.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Damien started walking towards me with a puzzled look consuming his face.

"Stop!" I protected my head with my arms and folded into the fetal position.

"What? I thought I told you I wouldn't hurt you," I peeked out from under my arm and saw he looked indignant. "You smacked me on the face pretty hard, but I'm not going to hurt you over something so stupid." _He just wants me to give up so he can suck my soul out. _He stood there a moment before huffing and sitting back down on my bed."Well fuck you too. For the record, I tried." I unfurled and looked up at him. He flipped me off before changing the channel with the remote. _Wait… he's not going to kill me?_

_That was just a dream, fucktard._

_But… it was so real and… I could actually feel him ripping my soul from my body. I swear._ _I can still feel where Kenny pushed my shoulder down._

_You just hit your shoulder on your furniture. Good job, Einstein._

_Oh yeah…_

I stood on wobbly legs and sank onto my bed. I sat up and glanced over at Damien. He held tension in his jaw and annoyance in his eyes. _He always gets annoyed easily._

_It's because you are just outright annoying. It's a miracle he doesn't actually rip out your throat. You should push him further and see if he does._

_Yeah, right. I'm not a total idiot. I'm going to apologize._

"Damien?" He ignored me. "Damien?" He stared straight at the TV, but I saw his eye twitch. "Damiiiennnnnn?"

"What!" He glared at me and bared his teeth. For a second I panicked, but then I realized he was just extremely irritated. _I guess I am annoying…_

"I'm sorry, Damien. I was having a nightmare and when I woke up. I didn't realize it wasn't real."

He sighed, "I should've known. You were mumbling and tossing and turning since you went to sleep."

"If you knew then why didn't you wake me?" _He could tell and he let me lie in torture? Asshole!_

"You said earlier that 'You wouldn't know how I feel because you don't share my body,'" he mocked my accent perfectly.

"Petty asshole."

"Whatever."

"You could have at least done that dream changing thing like you did before."

"I can't exactly do that anymore…"

"Why not?"

"Because that requires my powers."

"What happened to them? You said it had something to do with your dad…"

"He took restrained them."

"Restrained?"

"He only left enough so that my soul would stay bound to my body."

"Oh… so why exactly did he take them away?"

"You should know why I was born onto the Earth." He looked past me, at the wall, and grimaced.

"T-to bring about the apocalypse?"

"Yes." He said nothing more and just continued to stare at the same spot on the wall.

"…Well? Why would he take away your powers if you are supposed to initiate the apocalypse?"

"Because I ran away."

"Huh?"

He looked back at me emotionlessly, "I was living in Washington D.C. before I came here a few days ago."

"What were you doing there?"

"Do you not know of the description of the apocalypse in the Bible? It describes the anti-Christ as a man who is personable and will lead the world to its final doom. I'm nearly eighteen. In a few months I was supposed to be the youngest person to ever be a permanent member of the US delegation in NATO. I was to win over NATO and the next year be appointed the Chairman of the NATO military committee."

"What is that supposed to mean?" _What in the hell is he talking about?_

"The chairman is the leader of NATO and NATO basically runs all the first world countries. Whoever has power of NATO essentially has power over the free world. From there I would have been able to wreak havoc and start the apocalypse." _Oh my God…_

I was silent until I found the courage to speak again. "And… do you not want to do this?"

"Huh?" He looked surprised, which threw me off.

"So you do want to do it?"

"I… I am conflicted." He looked at the floor for a moment before looking back at me and starting again. "In one aspect I want nothing but that. The feeling of destroying, the rush of deception, and the adrenaline rush of killing… You've never really lived until you've held someone's skull in your hands and just pressed down hard enough to-"

"Damien, please… Your kind of scaring me…" _And disgusting me… maybe he really is like the way he was in my dream._

"Oh, sorry. What I meant to say is that the demonic side of me wants nothing but total and complete destruction… I enjoy it greatly, but a few weeks ago something happened that kind of threw me off." He scowled before continuing on. "I don't often get attached to humans. They are relatively dispensable to me, just pawns to play with. One of my assistants though… She kind of caught my eye…" He actually looked kind of embarrassed. Despite the disturbing things he was telling me, I couldn't help but crack a grin. He noticed and started to sneer at me before I guess deciding to ignore it.

"My body is only human, so I do enjoy certain physical activities. And I've never been afraid to act on those impulses. Though I've never been one to cuddle after… I actually can't control my powers when having sex, so it's quite dangerous. Most of my partners often end up dead, which I don't really mind, or maimed. None of them ever mattered. And I treated her the same way, but afterwards when I gazed at the remains of her… I felt something I've never really felt before. I guess humans call it regret? I'd never felt like that before, so it kind of threw me for a loop…

"My father told me that that I was just letting my hormonal bag, which is what he calls my body, affect me too much. He told me that I should just ignore it and continue on my mission… but I just can't shake that feeling. My soul never had feelings so this is still all relatively new to me. And since I was born in this body I've never really experienced many emotions, especially not ones like that. It made me really look at what I was doing and humans and the human experience… I don't really know. I guess it made me feel another new emotion, pity. And ever since there I've been experiencing new and different ones. I'm really getting sick of it. I wish I could just go back to my same old cold hearted self."

He sighed before running his hands through his hair, "So after I told my father I wasn't so sure about this anymore, he became angry and told me that until I go back to the plan that I wouldn't have my powers. He also told everyone in D.C. that I went on a vacation and that I would be back soon, but I don't know." He sighed again before looking at me. "I don't really know how to deal with all these wretched emotions."

He stood up abruptly and stretched. "I'll be back in a few minutes."

"'kay." He turned and opened my door, revealing a very surprised looking Amelia.

"What are you doing?" Damien stared at her expectantly.

"Amelia? Were you listening in on us or something?" _Holy fuck._

"Ahhh, no. I was just coming up to tell you that dinner was ready when he opened the door before I knocked."

"Right."

"Anyway, I'm going to go and… eat now. Hurry before it gets cold." She laughed nervously before starting to go down the stairs.

"We will in a minute." Damien forced a smile before slamming the door shut. When he turned around his eyes were wild and nostrils flared. He whispered harshly, "I think she heard us. If only she wasn't your sister! I'd kill that meddlesome bitch in a second!"

"Damien calm down," I got up and grabbed his shoulders, ignoring the burning in my hands and subsequently my face, and tried to calm him. He seethed for a moment before his poker face came back.

"I can't believe I didn't hear her there. I've grown weak without my powers…"

"Maybe she was telling the truth? Maybe you are just jumping to conclusions."

"I could just sense it… Why are you still holding my shoulders?" I looked at my hands and blushed before letting go. I moved awkwardly back a few steps.

"You ready to go down for dinner?"

"As long as it doesn't taste like a shoe again."

* * *

**After note**:

Yes, I am back after another billion years. School and writer's block prevented me from updating. I planned on updating all the way back in spring break, but I had immense trouble with starting the chapter.

I had so much fun writing that dream sequence (I must be twisted for that XD). I hope it came out clear enough to understand (and explain a few things), but still trippy enough to be true to dreams. I hope I didn't scare anyone off with the mild gore.

I have to admit that the NATO (North Atlantic Treaty Organization) idea I ripped from a crackpot on one of those History Channels apocalypse shows. All the details about it are from my brain. I got help from Wikipedia for the specifics, so I don't know if they are actually correct. If someone who actually cares about politics and government sees something incorrect, please inform me.

BU is Bellvue University in Nebraska. I chose there because it is major university in a neighboring state, so I thought it would be a good choice. It's just far enough that Amelia wouldn't be visiting often, but not so far that it would be crazy for her to come back to South Park.

I don't really know when I shall update next. I start the first summer semester on the 1st and I don't really know how time consuming it will be. All I'm taking is Government I (easy) and College Algebra (2nd time so hopefully easy [I got a D in it last semester ;_;]). And for those of you who are interested in the progress of the chapter, at the top of my profile is a part discussing the status of the next update. It's been there, but I don't know if everyone actually realizes. I actually update it quite often too.

As always, please review. :3 It would make me immensely happy if they reached to at least 50. Especially now, because I'm kind of nervous of how everyone will think of this chapter and even more because I had trouble with it. Oh, and thanks anonymous reviewers. You should sign in so I can respond and thank you directly. 3

Also, the document manager fucked up, so I don't know if this will come out correctly. It uploaded it as one huge chunk of text, so I had to manually go through and separate paragraphs and such. It was a son of a bitch and took me a hour. -_-; Fuck you, ff. net

Main inspiration: The Gorillaz's _Plastic Beach_ album. 3 I listened to it the entire 2nd half of the chapter (ironically when my block broke). Don't ask me why an album about the environment made me write about gore. XD And also, my dirty little secret, Adam Lambert's song "For Your Entertainment." Plus Placebo's "Pure Morning."

Damien: "No escaping when I start/ Once I'm in I own your heart/ There's no way to ring the alarm/ So hold on until it's over/ I bet you thought that I was soft and sweet/You thought an angel swept you off your feet/ But I'm about to turn up the heat." – Adam Lambert "For Your Entertainment" LOOOOOOOL (It fits, though.)

Pip: "I was alone,/ Staring over the ledge,/Trying my best not to forget/All manner of joy/ All manner of glee/And our one heroic pledge/ How it mattered to us,/ How it mattered to me,  
And the consequences/ I was confused,/ By the birds and the bees/ Forgetting if I meant it." – Placebo "Meds"

Are my after notes too long? D:


	7. Rabidus

Rabidus:

Dinner was excruciating. Not only in the sense that the food did in fact taste like a burnt shoe, much to the chagrin of Damien, but also the level of tension in the air was almost tangible. Everyone sat silently except for the random and hopeful comment from Mother every now and then. They were mostly answered with an 'mmhumm' or a nod. I was somewhat grateful for the silence, although everyone staring at me periodically put me off and made me just push around the food on my plate.

The rest of the night followed in the same fashion and pretty much everyone dissipated, getting ready for the next day's events. For Mother and Father it was just going to be a normal day at work, but for Amelia she had her interview and I had to deal with Damien and most likely Kenny also. _Might as well add Amelia to that list too._

_ You better hope she doesn't get that job._

_ Why? The faster she gets a job, the sooner she will move out of the house._

_ Who knows which school needs that counselor position? If it's your high school then you'll have her watching you at school _and_ at home. You'd never be able to escape her._

Damien started the dishes and I went upstairs to get ready for the next school day. I pulled out some homework and did as much as I could before Damien came busting in. He flopped on my bed and turned my T.V. on. I cleared my throat, but he didn't even show any sign of hearing me.

I sighed, "I'm trying to do my homework." He didn't say anything or even look over. "I said, I'm doing my homework."

"And I'm watching T.V. What, are we narrating our lives now?"

"No. I was trying to drop a hint."

"I have a hint for you," His eyes cut towards me and I gasped when I saw they were glowing again. He sneered and I felt myself shrink in my seat. "I'm not in the best of moods right now, so you better just either leave me be or go somewhere else."

"But..." His eyes flashed in anger and I felt my voice catch in my throat. _He must be pissed about Amelia...I better just leave him alone._ "I'm going to go take a shower then..." I shoved my half-finished homework in my backpack, grabbed some night clothes, and went to the bathroom. _Great, now I'll have to finish this before class starts tomorrow._ I set the water and jumped in the shower after carefully taking off my bandages.

_ I highly doubt it was about Amelia._ _His_ voice hissed its way into my conscious and I felt my stomach drop.

_I'm pretty sure it was._

_ Yeah right, he's probably pissed you know everything now. He's probably trying to plot a way to end you._

_ He wouldn't..._

_ 'Course he would be stuck with you in Hell the rest of eternity then. He's probably trying to figure out a way to keep you on this miserable Earth for as long as he can in that case._

_ I'm not going to Hell!_

_ Pssh, yeah right. You got a one way ticket, twit._

_ But I've never done anything really wrong._

_ Being gay isn't?_

_ I'm not gay and I'm not going to Hell!_

_ Right, because everything I tell you is always wrong._

_ You are..._

_ Lies, another sin for which you go to Hell for. Good job, asshole._

_ Fuck you..._

_ Cursing. Yet another sin and it hasn't even been five seconds yet._

I shut off the water and dried angrily. The mirror was fogged so I wiped a big circle on it. My reflection glared back at me. My eyes held so much rage that it surprised me. _I used to be such a cheerful, exuberant child... What happened to me? Why have I turned into some pathetic blob of a human?_

I traced a healing hickey with my finger gently as I stared at it in the mirror. Anger boiled suddenly in my veins and I pushed as hard as I could on the already tender flesh. The pain was enough to bring tears to my eyes, but I wanted more. _I want to forget... anything... everything! Just go away..._

_ You know how._

I searched frantically in the back of the towels. My heart skipped a beat when I thought it was missing, but it had just fallen further back. I held the blade in my fingers for a moment and just stared at it. _I could seriously stop this. It's really achieving nothing... _He_ always comes back sooner or later... but it does make me feel... better... I guess. I feel happiest as I do it, not that I even know what happy is anymore... but... it... _I squeezed the blade between my thumb and forefinger, slicing the epidermis and bringing blood dots on the surface. Immediately I wanted to feel more. _It can't be wrong, really, if I like it so much... can it? _No voice answered, so I decided it was the right course of action.

_"Mummy! Datty!" I ran up to smiling faces of my parents. Mom's blue eyes crinkled with excitement and Dad's mouth curled back in a smile, exposing crooked teeth. I ran down the hallway with my little arms outstretched, getting ready to hug my loved ones. They said nothing, but the joy they held in their faces more than made up for it. Finally my chubby, short fingers were able to curl around the thin fabric of their shirt sleeves. They embraced me tightly for many moments._

_ I pulled away and was surprised and confused to see not my parents standing in front of me, but my adoptive ones. I was my normal self again, but their faces now held concern. I went to open my mouth to ask why, but no noise would come forth. I kept trying to speak out, yell, even whimper, but nothing came out. Their faces kept growing more and more concerned._

_ "Pip, come here, baby," Mother motioned me to hug her and I complied. She wrapped her arms around me in a reassuring fashion and cooed, "I love you, Pip. You are my world." I wanted to tell her the same, but something was holding me back. My voice kept catching in my esophagus, keeping it all down. She did not falter though and began stroking my hair. "No matter what happens I will always love you."_

_ She kept petting my hair lovingly and I felt my body relax a little. I felt bad for not getting to tell her how I felt about her, but she seemed to not mind. I closed my eyes contently, loving every moment of the maternal embrace. I noticed after a moment that it was getting hot, so I tried to pull away, but her hold only grew tighter. It kept getting warmer and warmer and I kept trying to pull away, but her hold kept matching my strength._

_ "M-mother?" Finally whatever blocked my voice disappeared._

_ A laugh echoed into my chest and fear shot through me. The laugh was not the shrill giggle of the woman whom was holding me just a moment before. It was a deep, sadistic laugh._

_ "Hmm, not quite, dear Pip," Damien whispered hotly into my ear. It sent a shiver through my bones and I felt my breath catch._

_ "W-wha-" I was thrust backwards onto the ground with an 'oomph.' I opened my eyes to see nothing but dark blue sky above me. I started to sit up when I was aggressively pinned down. A pointed grin leered down at me and blood red eyes bore into mine._

_ "Hello, Phillip."_

_ "D-Damien, are you here to k-k-kill m-me?"_

_ "Do you have such little faith in me, Pip? I thought I told you I wouldn't hurt you?" His demonic voice echoed in my ears and I hoped to God he wasn't being sarcastic. He straddled me and panic seized me. I started to thrash about, but he held my appendages down. "I said I wouldn't hurt you... unless that is what you want."_

_ "Huh?"_

_ He leaned down and placed his lips on mine. I was so stunned by his action I couldn't even breathe. His kiss was gentle for a second or so, but then he clamped down on my bottom lip with his sharp teeth. Instead of projectile vomiting or yelping in pain like I thought I would do, my body surprised me with an embarrassingly positive gasp._

_ Damien pulled away and the face that once was covered in the remains of Kenny grinned sadistically at me. "Apparently you do. Oh, goodie." He laughed darkly before surprising me by dragging his clawed fingers under my shirt and down my torso. He ripped my shirt off in one swift move and moved his claws around on my chest. Blood beaded where the scratches were, but instead of crying in agony, I was crying out in ecstasy. I'd never felt something this wonderful ever in my life. Damien chuckled before an evil smirk crossed his face. _

_ He pulled me forward and up roughly so that I was sitting on his lap, my legs wrapped around his hips loosely. He started to bite and leave bloody hickeys on my neck, shoulders, and chest and I grabbed onto the back of his horns and squeezed them, the lovely pain making me finally tense up._

_ "D-Damien..." He stopped and looked up at me, "Slow down, please."_

_ "Slow down?" A look of anger contorted his face even more and he licked a drop of blood off of my neck. His snake-like tongue swished across my skin and made me sigh. "How can I stop when you taste so delicious? It just makes me want to eat you up... and in fact, I think I will."_

_ "What?" I shuddered as he grinned sadistically at me and licked his lips._

_ "This," he lunged his head quickly and bit and tore my jugular vein out of my neck._

I awoke startled and breathing heavily. My eyes darted around frantically as my brain tried to figure out my surroundings, but I calmed down once I realized I was sitting in the middle of my pretend bed in the middle of my room in the middle of my house and not in some random place with a demon ripping my artery out. I felt my neck with my hand and felt only smooth, sweaty skin. I turned and looked towards my real bed and was startled when I saw a pair of glowing red eyes staring back at me. My heart started beating loudly in my ears and I was frozen in place for a moment, the fear consuming me like a viper consumes a helpless field mouse. When I finally mustered enough courage to speak out loud, beeping sounded and both of our eyes shot toward my alarm clock. I scrambled off the bed and towards it, stumbling on everything in the room, and stuck my hand out to shut it off as I stubbed my toe on the nightstand.

Instead of hitting cold plastic though, I hit something warm, very warm. It took my brain a second to realize that Damien and I had both hit the alarm clock at the same time, but once I realized my hand was on top of Damien's I recoiled so hard I almost fell backwards. My palm was on fire and my heart raced rapidly as Damien stared at me for a moment. When he looked at the alarm clock as he picked it up I was finally able to regain control of my body again. I managed to make it to the switch and turn the light on, earning a disdainful growl from Damien. I almost freaked out again when he did so, but I was able to calm down now that the lights were on.

Damien groaned and mumbled before throwing the clock on my pretend bed. I sighed in relief when I saw Damien's horrible bed-head and non-glowing eyes. There wasn't any horns protruding from his tussled black locks and there was white shimmering around crimson irises. _Horns… _The image of my hands pulling on his horns entered my head and then I remembered the nature of the dream I was having before the cruel end. I felt a huge blush stretch across my face. Damien looked at me inquisitively before standing up and stretching. My eyes shot directly to his bare chest and my blush was magnified by one hundred percent. _Damn it._ I turned and left my room as quickly as I could so he couldn't see my face.

I shut my door and stepped forward only to trip over something, holding in a yell as I went down. When I recovered from my surprise I stood up and looked for what tripped me. It was a brown paper sack. _What the fuck? What is this doing here?_ I picked it up and peered at its contents inside. My heart skipped a beat when shiny metal and strips of gauze greeted my eyes. I reached my hand in and pulled out one of the blades from the razor I had broken. I dropped it in the bag and clutched the bag to my chest as I looked around. _No one's here… Who could have done this?_ _It must have been Amelia…_

_ Or Damien. Might've been why he was staring at you weirdly this morning. Besides, you know, the fact that your face is vomit inducing._

_ Great, you're back. _

_ Who'd you expect?_

I walked into the bathroom and locked the door quietly; I didn't want to wake anyone. _No one needs to see this…_

_ Obviously someone did, or else it wouldn't be wrapped up so prettily for you._

_ Shut up… Now, where should I hide this…?_

I looked around in the small bathroom. The only places to hide things besides in plain view were painfully obvious, especially if someone was looking for them. I breathed out erratically, panic starting to consume me. _This is not a good way to start out the day… _It felt like the room was closing in around me. _Fuck…_

_ Do I have to do everything for you, idiot?_

_ What?_

_ Do you see that medicine cabinet over there?_

I looked above the sink at the mirrored medicine cabinet, noticing my panicky eyes staring back at me in the process. _Yes._

_ Can you see on top of the medicine cabinet without standing on your tip-toes? _

_ No…_

_ Exactly._

_ Huh?_

_ Apparently, I _do_ have to do everything… Put the razors up there, that way no one will find them._

_ Oh… that makes sense._

_ Of course. One of us has to._

I stretched as far as I could and laid the razors out on top of the cabinet. _There we go…_

_ Finally._

_ Now I just got to get rid of the rest of this stuff. _I put the gauze in the drawer like it would normally be and put the brown paper bag in the bottom of the bathroom's trash can. I sighed in relief. _Now for school. Great…_

"You really need a car. Or a license at least. Walking sucks," Damien complained as the bitter wind pushed snow flurries into our faces. It was really cold today, so I had put on three layers of clothes. Damien could somehow withstand the cold and only wore a thin jacket. _Must have something to do with his fucked up body temperature._

"Come on, Damien. It's not _that_ far to the bus stop. I do it every day and I don't complain."

He scoffed, "I don't complain. I was just stating."

"Yeah, sure…" I mumbled under my breath and Damien narrowed his eyes at me.

We got to the bus stop and stood quietly while we waited. I noticed out of the corner of my eye that the kid who had talked to me the other day was staring at Damien with his mouth agape. I flicked my eyes over to Damien and noticed nothing different about him than normal. He just stood there staring blankly at the road, seeming to be thinking about something. I looked back at the kid and he noticed, but didn't stop or do anything different.

The bus arrived and we climbed on, sitting in the middle. I noticed the kid sat a few seats behind us and whenever I looked back towards him he would be staring at Damien, apparently not caring if people noticed. It gave me a sick feeling in the bottom of my stomach, but I just ignored it, blaming it on my own paranoia. We were finally dropped off at SPHS and I hurriedly walked toward trusty old 503. Damien followed me silently until I slid down underneath my locker and busted out my unfinished homework. He sighed but I ignored him and concentrated on my homework. _I have to do well. I have to make it out of this shit town and make something of myself one day._

_ Yeah right._

"Damien? Damien Thorne?"

"Yes?" I looked up to see Damien looking warily at Wendy Testaburger. Wendy looked exceptionally beautiful today. She had taken and curled her normally stick-straight hair and had on just a bit more make-up than normal. It surprised me that the normally studious girl would randomly dress up, even wearing a dress instead of the normal jeans, and that she would be talking to Damien.

"Hi, I'm Wendy Testaburger. We didn't really get to meet last week and I thought I should introduce myself and everyone else to you. Come on," she reached out and grabbed Damien's hand. I felt a sour feeling shoot through my body. _No wonder she's all dressed up…_

Damien looked back towards me, grinned, and wriggled his eyebrows before being led towards the popular crowd. I felt a bit of anger and betrayal spread through me, but I didn't really know why. I tried to push it away and just concentrate on my homework. I was about to write something down when a shadow fell over my paper. I looked up and almost had a heart attack. Kenny beamed down at me and I had to control the urge to scream.

"Pip! How were you this weekend?"

"Umm… okay…" I mumbled.

"I can't hear you." Kenny slid down the lockers and plopped his butt on the floor directly beside me. I wanted to scoot away, but a couple of nerds were standing beside me, talking to each other. "What'd you say?"

"It… it was okay…"

"You should have come and visited me. It would have been _wonderful_ then."

"M-maybe another time, Kenny…"

"I think you should come and visit me today," he leaned over and whispered into my ear, "I've missed you, Pippers." I couldn't move or talk, my heart felt like it was about to pop right out of my chest. He breathed hotly on my ear and images of him on top of me and his decapitated head kept flashing in my brain. My spine went rigid when he licked my ear and then nuzzled my neck before kissing it.

It felt like my brain shut off the second his lips touched my neck, nothing but numb consuming my senses. I saw Damien walk towards us just as Kenny's lips kissed my neck again and his hand felt its way onto the other side of it. He looked blankly at us and just continued walking. Kenny must've seen him through the corner of his eye because he abruptly stopped.

"How about we finish this later, Pippers?" He reached over and pulled my face towards him, planting a kiss on my lips. I was too out of it to fight back, so I just waited until he got up and left. Damien stood where Kenny had sat and looked down at me questioningly, expecting an answer. I kept silent, words unable to form in my brain, and put my still unfinished homework back into my backpack. I got up and sulked to the bathroom where I proceeded to vomit up bile and chunks of cereal into the first stall's toilet.

The rest of my morning classes were spent in a haze. I felt physically sick and my mental capabilities shut off. I couldn't do any of the work and turned in half-finished homework and assignments. I earned a few strange glances from teachers and from Damien during the class I had with him. Apparently I looked rattled enough that even some of the other kids, like Butters and Tweak, asked me if I was okay. I always mumbled, "Sure," or "I'm fine," but they all gave me doubtful looks. I really didn't have the strength to pretend right then.

By the time lunch rolled around I had to quell panic attacks. The thought of me and Kenny together in the same room made me want to vomit again and run home. _But then again, he knows where I live. Nowhere is safe. _I would have skipped lunch and hid in the library, but I knew Damien was going to be waiting for me in the hallway again. I walked down towards the cafeteria and eventually found Damien. Wendy was chatting him up again and he seemed to be eating up every second of it. _She must have it really bad for him. _I almost turned around and left them alone, but Damien saw me.

"Hey, Pip! Over here," he motioned towards himself. I obliged and slowly walked over and joined them.

"Hello, Phillip," Wendy smiled, what seemed genuinely, but all I could think about was how it was actually part her fault what happened with Kenny. _If she hadn't have been there then I could have just walked out. I would have never gone into that bathroom._

"Hi, Wendy, Damien." I stared at her genuine smile again and I flung that idea out of my head. _She might be a stuck-up bitch, but it isn't her fault about what happened…_

"Well, I'll talk to you boys later, I don't have lunch during this period," She waved goodbye and flounced down the hallway. I looked over to Damien and his eyes were locked onto her ass like it had a target on it. I felt a bit of pink tinge my face and some jealously taint my stomach despite my overall numbness. When she disappeared around the corner Damien looked over at me with a huge smirk plastered across his face.

"She's one determined girl."

I shrugged and we started walking towards the cafeteria. The closer and closer we got to the doors of the cafeteria the higher and higher my stress level and panic rose. I tried to shove these feelings below my numbness, but most of it still broke through. I didn't want to freak out with Damien and the other people walking around me, so I somehow managed to hold it all in.

We walked through the doors though and my panic level rose so quickly I couldn't hold it all in. I felt my body start to tremor and all the blood rush out of my face. I felt like I might puke, but luckily there wasn't anything in my stomach. Damien didn't notice until we got in the line and stood. A confused look inhabited his face when his eyes fell on me.

"Are you okay?"

"Uh, yes."

He narrowed his eyes in doubt, "You don't seem okay."

"I… I am. Just nervous about a test I have in seventh period today."

"Do you need to go to the nurse?"

"I'm fine."

"You sure?"

"Yeah." I grabbed onto my sides so I could stop shaking so much. He still looked at me with skepticism, but said no more.

After a few minutes of standing in line quietly, I started to calm down. I even bought a Twix to eat, my nauseousness almost gone. We sat down at my usual spot and Damien started to chow down, inhaling everything on his plate. I nibbled on my Twix and sipped on my Dr Pepper, watching in amazement at Damien's eating habits. _Apparently he thinks the school food tastes better than Mother's… and I don't blame him. _I started to finally relax for the first time that day, for some reason. _I guess the shock from this morning has finally started to wear off?_

I opened my mouth, about to make a snide remark about his rapid eating, when arms wrapped around me from the back. I felt my body immediately go rigid and my heart pound as hard as it could. I didn't really have to question who it was, I just _knew._ I felt his hot breath on my ear, smelt his slightly musty jacket, and I knew. I had to hold down the vomit.

"How about me and you go to the bathroom, my dear Pippers?" I couldn't talk or move. I just sat there, stone still, and unable to even breathe. I felt my eyes widen and I looked towards Damien. He just sat there, a mostly blank look on his face, showing what only seemed to be mild interest in the situation.

"Hey, what do you say, Pipper? You can eat something a lot more _satisfying _than a candy bar," he whispered into my ear before proceeding to giggle as his hands lowered down my body.

"Ay! Stop with all this gay, you fags!" I felt Kenny's arms rip away from me forcefully. I looked behind me and Cartman was pulling Kenny away by the hood of his jacket.

"Maybe later, eh?" Kenny waved goodbye as he was dragged towards the cafeteria exit.

I turned around slowly after they had exited for about ten seconds, noticing staring eyes throughout the cafeteria. _Great, everyone saw that._ I looked at Damien who was staring at me with confusion. I looked down at my candy bar and felt bile rise in my throat. _I won't be able to eat candy for a while now._

"Do you want the rest of this? I'm not very hungry anymore," I held it out to him but he didn't even acknowledge it.

"This bullying of his, it seems a little _too_ unusual if you ask me," he looked dead straight at me, no emotion touching his face. A little accusation was all that his voice held.

"Well…" I pretended to have a sudden huge interest in the ingredients of my Dr Pepper and tried to act nonchalantly.

"Are you guys, you know, fucking or something?"

I had to keep from not vomiting everywhere at the suggestion of us doing _that_. I balked for a second and he raised his eyebrow in question. _Should I tell him?_

_He probably wouldn't care. The thought of it would probably just make him vomit._

"Of- of course not! I'm not gay, anyways." I tried to give him a reassuring smile, but I'm sure it failed. He got a sour look on his face before snatching the candy bar from my hand. He bit into it fiercely just as the bell rang.

The rest of the day was spent in a daze yet again. I felt catatonic, just going through the motions. The only time I felt any emotion was when I was in my fifth period class, only a few feet away from my tormentors. They didn't mess with me, mostly because the teacher we had was a complete dragon. When the bus rolled up to my bus stop I almost forgot to deboard. The only reason I didn't accidentally ride the bus until the end of the route was because an annoyed Damien shoved me out of the seat. I drug my legs all the way to my house, my whole body feeling as if it were made of lead. Damien seemed to keep becoming increasingly and increasingly annoyed with my behavior. When we entered into the empty house he threw down the backpack I had lent him and grabbed my arm.

"Ow!" I yelled at him, but he didn't let go.

"We need to talk. I believe I've made up my mind." Damien's eyes glowed blood red and I felt his grip on my arm tighten as he began to drag me up stairs.

"Ouch! Damien, let me go!"

"I-"

"What's going on here?" We both jerked and swung around to the feminine voice behind us. "What are you doing to my baby brother?" Amelia stood in the threshold to the kitchen, her arms folded and voice firm.

Damien looked to where his hand held my arm before letting go gently. "Nothing."

"It doesn't look like just '_nothing_'," she advanced towards us, eyeing Damien all the way. "You may have everyone else convinced, but I'm not. There is something going on here and something quite not right about you. Are you the one driving Pip to hurt himself? I don't like you and I especially do not like you hurting my brother like that."

"Oh, like he's the only one?" Both of their heads whipped around towards me, not expecting such a venomous voice to come from such a small, innocent looking boy. "What were you going to say? That that' is your job? That all the times you beat up on me because you missed mum and dad were nothing? That it was _okay_? You know what is _not_ okay? You coming here. Just _leave. _I don't want you here; all you are are bad memories and a sack of pretentious bullshit!" All the anger drained out of me when I saw the hurt look Amelia was holding in her eyes. _I can't believe I just exploded like that._

"Well, I'm sorry you feel like that, Pip, because I'm going to get that counseling job so, I can't leave. You are stuck with me, whether you like it or not," she began to turn around, reentering the kitchen, but stopped. She looked directly at Damien, rage evident on her face. "You," she pointed at him, "I'm watching you. I don't like you and I don't like how you treat my ungrateful little brat of a brother." With that she twirled around and disappeared into the kitchen.

I looked toward Damien and he was seething. I could see the barely contained rage vibrating beneath his skin and his eyes beaming red hot fire out at Amelia's trail. _If he's this scary without his powers, I'd hate to see him with._ He looked towards me, nose flared in rage and teeth bared. I felt my body instinctively shrink back some. He ran up the stairs and after I regained some sense of composure I followed him. I found him pacing in my room. Anger seemed to be radiating around him and his eyes flashed dangerously when he saw me standing in the doorway.

"Pip," his voice was severe and I felt like running away, but I stood my ground.

"Y-yes?"

"Hand me something that you won't mind me breaking."

"What?"

He quit pacing and pierced me with his gaze. "Give me something I can break before I go downstairs and break your sister's neck."

I bolted and grabbed a plastic ruler off of my desk. I handed it to him wearily before shrinking backwards and sitting on the furthest corner of my bed. He instantly broke it in half and then continued to break each piece over and over again before he finally threw it on the floor and stomped on it. He sighed before turning and looking at me.

"I guess that will have to suffice… Did I ever mention I hate that bitch that you call a sister? I swear, if she wasn't your sister…" He scowled before bending down and picking up the broken pieces of plastic. "I wasn't even trying to hurt you and I'm sorry if I did. I was just really excited." He walked over and threw the pieces away in my room's garbage bin.

"About what?"

He closed my bedroom door and plopped down on the opposite end of my bed. "I decided."

"…about?"

He rolled his eyes, "You are slow. I decided what I'm going to do about my situation. I just need to figure out _how_."

"What did you decide, exactly?" _He isn't going to go back and initiate the apocalypse, is he?_

"That I don't want to do my father's bidding."

"Does that mean that you aren't going to go through with the apocalypse?"

"At least not now," he laughed at my shocked face. I glared at him and he snickered before continuing. "I'm just kidding… for the most part. My problem right now is trying to figure out a plan to get my powers back."

"Why do you need your powers back?" He looked at me like I was an idiot before getting up and pacing.

"I think a more appropriate question would be why would I _not_ need my powers? It's horrible without them. I feel so… so weak without them. No wonder you humans are such unhappy creatures. You have no idea what strength… what power… what _life_ really feels like." Excitement overwhelmed his face and his eyes glowed and twinkled with enthusiasm.

"I-I guess…"

"Poor, Pip. You have no clue." I shrugged. _I really don't. _He plopped backwards onto the bed and looked up at me through thick lashes. I felt my face blush some and I looked away, embarrassed. He sighed and sat up. "The only problem is trying to figure out how I can possibly do that without going back to D.C. and doing as my father says. I really don't think I can live much longer without them. I think I'll go insane. I hate this dullness clouding my senses." He clutched his head and growled in annoyance. A shiver ran down my spine in response and I felt my face go as red as his eyes.

"So, you have no clue as to what you'll do?" I said as I stared down at my bed, trying to conceal my face.

"No, all I can think of are ideas which won't work. Uggggh!" He stood up abruptly and threw his hands in the air angrily. "I could just kill someone, it makes me so angry!" He huffed before looking over at me mischievously. "Where's your sister?"

"Damien!"

"Ha, cool it. I'm just kidding… kinda."

"_Damien._"

"Damn, you can't take a joke can you?" His eyes glimmered with mirth, but I wouldn't put anything past him.

I sighed, "Can we just do our homework now?"

"You can, I'm not worried about it."

"If you don't do your homework you'll fail."

He snickered, "My dear, Pip. This is where you and I differ. Not only have I already learned all this crap back in Hell, but I don't have a record for which failure would show on."

"What do you mean?"

"Do you really think I'm actually enrolled at South Park High?"

"How could you not be? They allow you to go to school there and you have a schedule and everything."

"I have to give it to you, your superintendent isn't cheap. Bitch took all the rest of my money that I brought with me nearly."

"You bribed the superintendent of the school district?"

"Yup. She entered me into the system and no one even realizes I'm not legit. The teachers will submit the grades, but it doesn't even matter because they don't even go towards anything. I graduated high school and even have a bachelor's degree in political science from Harvard under my alias. I actually even earned those."

"But how? You are the same age as me."

"I graduated high school at the age of 12 and graduated from Harvard at 15. I've been working my way up at D.C. since then. How else do you think I'd be so high up already- besides my obvious advantages, of course. Even if my father deluded the politicians, don't you think the public would think it strange some young kid with no political knowledge would be so high up in the government? Though humans are not the most observant of creatures they would surely notice some kind of incongruity in that."

"Oh…" After an awkward moment of silence I got up and grabbed my backpack. "Well some of us don't have that luxury, so I'm going to get started. I've got to make up for the complete crap that I turned in today." I sighed and pulled out my English homework and the novel we were reading. I took off all the layers of jackets and sweatshirts I was wearing and climbed under the comforter of my bed with the book.

"You're reading in here?"

I looked up from the pages of the novel. "Yes? Is that a problem?"

"I was going to watch TV…"

"Don't you have something… less loud you could do?"

He sighed, "I guess so." He sat at my desk and turned on my computer.

"Thanks."

He grunted in response.

The rest of the day and night was spent uneventfully doing homework and the uneventfulness luckily carried all the way through the morning and school the next day. Kenny didn't approach me, although he was there. He would stare at me through the crowd and wave and smiled once during the class we shared, making me almost vomit. Other than that, I was fine the whole day. It was a strange feeling, but it was a huge relief.

The last bell rang and relief washed through me. _I just got to get home and I'll be safe… Well, at least saf_er. I walked towards my locker and exchanged books. Damien wasn't there yet so I leaned against it and watched for him in the crowd of rushing teenagers. _I'm almost done for the day. Hopefully all will go well like yesterday._

_ Probably not. You aren't that lucky._

_ Oh, just shut up. _I sighed in aggravation at _his_ presence.

"What's wrong, pretty Pip?"

I jumped at the voice as terror ripped through my body. Kenny was walking beside the lockers towards me and I just stared at him, frozen like a deer in headlights. He came up right beside me and leaned on me somewhat, pressing me on the lockers.

"What's wrong? Anything I can help you with?" He grinned at me and panic consumed me. I could feel my heart pumping quickly in my neck and almost felt woozy. "You don't look too good. I know something that could help with that," he whispered in my ear. All of a sudden I felt his leg between mine and his thigh rubbing on my crotch. A yelp ripped through my lips and he giggled before licking my ear.

"S-stop!" I yelled as I shoved him off of me. A few of the kids in the crowd turned and looked at us before ignoring us, probably dismissing it as me just being bullied like normal. Kenny looked confused, but I didn't wait to see what he would do. I bolted down the hallway and busted into a nearby bathroom. I went in the handicap stall and locked the door before throwing my backpack on the ground. I slid down the wall and sat on the floor between it and the adjacent wall.

I rested my head on the wall and closed my eyes, just trying to calm my heart and lungs. After a moment I felt hot tears start to fall between my closed lids and soon I started sobbing uncontrollably. _I hate this! Why can't he just leave me alone! Why must he haunt me? Why the hell did he choose me and not someone else? There is plenty of other people in this school so WHY THE FUCK DID HE CHOOSE ME!_

I pulled on my hair and banged the back of my head on the wall repeatedly, unable to control my body or my emotions. I literally felt empty, like there was nothing but a hollow cavity inside my torso. The image of Kenny lying on top of me was the background of which all my thoughts were projected. I could literally feel his hot breath and lips on my neck. I hit my head with my fist a few times like it would get rid of the image, but it only minimally made me feel better. All of the sudden I got an all-consuming urge to cut myself, but I didn't have a knife or a razor with me. Thinking desperately, I pulled my sleeves up and ripped off the bandages on my arm.

I scratched off the dark scabs and then drug my nails along the lines, bringing blood to the surface. The sorrow I was experiencing started to dissipate and I calmed down enough to stop crying. I stopped and just stared at my arm for a moment. It was a bloody mess and was pulsating with pain. My nails had dark red blood underneath them and my fingertips were stained strawberry. I leaned over and grabbed a mass of toilet paper and tried my best to clean my arms and fingers. My attempts were pretty futile though because my arm kept gushing more. I held pressure to it for a few minutes and it finally slowed to an ooze. I mopped the blood up as best as I could and then put the bandages back on. I leaned over, threw the bloody paper in the toilet, and flushed it.

I leaned back and just stared at the toilet blankly for a few minutes. No thoughts were really passing through my head and I liked it. I was interrupted though when I heard the bathroom door open and two sets of feet walk in. I tried to make no noise. _I don't want anyone to find me._ One walked over to the urinals and I heard him pee and the other walked over to the sink. The one stopped pissing and walked out, not even bothering to wash his hands.

The second he left the one that was standing in front of the sinks walked directly over to my stall. I just sat there motionless, hoping he would just leave, but he didn't. He knocked, but I didn't answer.

"Pip?" It was Damien. I grunted in recognition. "Pip? What the hell are you doing? Open the door!" I didn't move. I could sense his anger rising even though I couldn't see his face. "Open the fucking door before I knock it the fuck down!"

I sighed, not wanting to put up with him, but leaned forward and slid open the lock anyways. The door swung open and Damien stood there, glaring down at me.

"What the fuck are you doing? We missed the bus and are going to have to walk now! What have you been doing in here?" He was seething and it looked like it took everything for him not to just punch me out. I didn't answer and it seemed to irk him even more.

I looked up at him and just sighed. His expression changed from enraged to confused and slightly concerned.

"What's wrong, Pip?" He kneeled in front of me and grabbed my face, forcing me to look at him. "You don't look so good, are you alright?"

I looked away, unable to lie while looking in his eyes. "I'm… I'm fine."

He jerked my face so I would look at him. "You don't look fine. In fact you look like shit."

"I said I'm fine. I just… had a bad day. I'm sorry I made us miss the bus, I just lost track of time is all."

He stared at me for a moment, I guess trying to figure out if I was telling the truth. I felt myself blush a bit from his gaze. He loosened his grip on my chin slowly and let it fall down, brushing my chest and torso in the process. My blush intensified and I felt my body shiver at the touch, but he didn't notice as he stood up.

He stretched out his hand and I took it. He pulled me up but didn't immediately let go of my hand, causing the heat emanating from his body to burn up my arm and my face to flame. He let go and grabbed my bag for me. I took it and followed him out of the bathroom and the building.

The sky outside was gray and white, ice flurries falling from the sky at an unrelenting rate. I pulled the hood of one of my jackets over my head and he did the same. We set off towards my house silently. We walked on the sidewalk, him by the buildings and me by the road. We were about halfway there when I heard a loud crack and thump to my left. I looked towards Damien and he was covered in snow. A big tree branch sat about a foot away from him on the sidewalk. The tree we were walking by had too much snow on it and one of the branches became overwhelmed and broke off, dumping snow all over Damien in the process and almost hitting him. He just stood there with his eyes closed for a moment before sighing.

"Wonderful," he said and then shook himself, flinging snow everywhere like a wet dog does water after a bath.

"Did I mention that I'm sorry?" He looked over at me and rolled his eyes before walking again.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. It's just snow. I'll survive."

I sighed in relief. _I was expecting him to throw a tantrum or something. I guess he can be mature sometimes. _"AGHHH!" Damien pulled my hood down and shoved snow down the back of my clothes. "Fuck! It's cold! Get it out!" I spazzed as I tried to get the snow out of the back of my shirt. Damien started laughing hysterically. "Asshole! I said I was sorry! Fuck, its cold! And it's starting to melt!"

"Hahaha! You are such a spaz."

"Shut-up and get it out of my shirt!" He kept laughing but scooped out the snow that was in my hood and at the top of shirt.

"There, better now?"

"No," I glared at him and walked briskly down the sidewalk.

He laughed and caught up with me. We walked in silence for a few minutes. It seemed though that the further and faster we walked, the colder I got. _Probably because my whole damn back is wet. _I felt myself start to shiver violently and I tried to wrap my arms around myself for warmth.

"F-fuck its c-c-cold!" I stuttered out.

"Whiney baby," he laughed.

"S-shut up, a-ass-h-hole," I sneered at him.

"Are you okay, Pip? Your lips are turning blue."

"N-n-no. You got me f-f-fucking w-et."

Damien sighed in exasperation, "Come here, weakling."

"What?"

He gestured towards himself, "Come here. I can't have you getting sick and dying because you can't handle a bit of snow." I walked towards him and he grabbed me, shoving me against him. Images of Kenny grabbing me flashed through my head and panic shot through me even though it was only Damien and not Kenny.

"What the hell are you doing?" I tried to pull myself from his arms frantically, but he kept a death grip on me.

"Calm down! You're wet and cold and I'm a Hellian, meaning my body temperature is literally as hot as Hell. Put two and two together."

_Oh… he's just trying to warm me.… _"Okay… Thanks, I guess."

"Yeah, sure," his voice vibrated my body, reminding me of something. _Why does this seem familiar…? _My face flamed the moment I realized it was like my dream. _Thank God he can't see my face… _It was then that the awkwardness of this situation really hit me and I became hyperaware of my body. My face was a mere few centimeters away from him, close enough I could smell him. His arms were wrapped around me and I was smooshed up against his torso. The front of my body was starting to burn already and so was the desire in my heart. _Oh God… either let go of me right now or take me right now… Fuck, why am I thinking like this? He's a guy and I'm a guy and… it just isn't right._

"Has the hypothermia stopped yet?"

"I-," my voice cracked embarrassingly, "I'm fine now." _Quite the opposite, really._

"Good." He let go of me and started walking again. It took me a second to recuperate before I followed after him.

He turned around and looked at me, "What, are you too hot now? Your face is blood red. Is there no happy medium with you?"

My face answered for me by becoming redder. "I guess not."

Damien sighed.

We reached my house finally and I ran upstairs to change my wet clothes, leaving Damien behind. I shed my wet clothes and pulled on a long sleeve shirt. On my way out of my room I caught my reflection in the mirror on my dresser. _No wonder he said I looked like shit. _My eyes were blood shot from crying earlier, my face was still red from Damien, and my hair was all messed up from being pulled on and having snow in it. I sighed before brushing it quickly. _I'm sure someone is going to comment about me now._ I started to run back downstairs but stopped about midway down when I saw who was at the bottom. Mother, Father, Amelia, and Damien were all standing in the foyer and talking.

"Phillip! Hi honey!" Mother motioned for me to come down. I did so and she gave me a huge hug.

"What's going on?"

"Oh, we're so happy! Amelia officially got the counseling job so we decided we'd all come home early and go out to North Park to celebrate!"

"Oh."

Amelia, who was dressed in a pant suit and had her hair done up, was beaming bigger than I thought was even possible for her petite face at me expectantly. I ignored her until mother elbowed me in the side.

"Congratulations, Amelia."

"Yeah, congrats," added Damien. He tried to flash an equally huge grin at her, but she completely ignored him. I had to hold a snicker back when I saw the death glare he gave her.

"Thank you."

"Pip, Damien, can you go put on some nice clothes? We made reservations at your sister's favorite, Chez Merde."

"I hate that place! It's French food!" _I don't want anything to do with those damned French._

"Pip, this is your sister's big day so she gets to pick where we eat. When you have a big day you can pick out where we eat."

I sighed, "Fine."

I walked up the stairs, perturbed that we were going to Chez Merde and that I had to change _again_. Damien stalked up the stairs after me, apparently angry about something too. I grabbed a blazer, a button up shirt, a pair of slacks, and a pair of dress shoes before running off to the bathroom.

"Why don't you just change in your room? It's not like you have anything I've never seen before," Damien asked me as he picked clothes from his pile. _Shit, I can't let him see all these bruises and marks on my body. I don't want anyone to see that, especially since he's suspicious of me being with Kenny or something. I think I'd die if he, if anyone, ever found out the truth._

"I- I got to fix my hair anyways, so I'll just go ahead and get ready in there."

I slinked off to the bathroom before Damien could say anything else. I took off my shirt and looked at the bruises on my abdomen. Most had faded a little to a lighter purple, but the bruises that wrapped around from my sides to my back were almost black. The bruises were definite in shape; the shape of Kenny's hands.

"_Come on, Pip. Don't cry. I don't want to hurt you, but if you keep struggling I can't help it. Relax and enjoy it." All of a sudden my body was shoved downwards and a horrible pain pierced through me. I couldn't even scream the pain was so severe. I tried to get up but I was just shoved back down with even more force. I could barely even feel the hands digging into my flesh._

I ran over to the toilet and vomited up the bit of my lunch that was still left. I fell backwards and stared at the toilet mindlessly until I heard my bedroom door open and close. _Shit, Damien is already ready. I better hurry. _I flushed the toilet and brushed my teeth before throwing on my clothes. I ran a comb through my hair again and ran downstairs.

Damien gave me a weird sideways glance when I came up beside him and I suddenly felt some paranoia shoot through my body. _He heard me vomit, didn't he? Great, now he's going to think I'm anorexic or bulimic or something now._ I looked over at him sheepishly but felt my heart thud when I saw what he was wearing. _Damn it, I didn't think it was possible for him to look even better really, but he looks damn good in more formal clothes. Ughhh, I shouldn't think that way!_

"Okay everybody! Let's roll out. I thought we could go to the movies first since our reservations aren't till seven," Mother announced.

"Awesome," Amelia enthused, "I've wanted to see _Forgetting Laerah Carshall_."

"Oh, me too! It's settled then." They walked out the door together, laughing, followed by father. Damien and I dragged along behind.

"Oh great, a chick flick," Damien whispered sarcastically to me.

"I like romantic comedies…"

"Of course you would…"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Are you sure there isn't some tits hiding under that shirt of yours?" Damien poked my chest.

"Stop it." I slapped his hand off and got in the car.

I was forced to sit between Damien and Amelia like on the way home from the airport. Unfortunately it was just as miserable as then. _Luckily North Park isn't nearly as far away as Denver._ We pulled up to the stand- alone theater on the nice part of town and exploded out of the car. Mother bought all of our tickets and handed them to us.

"Here, you all go get yourselves some snacks," Mother said as she handed Amelia a twenty dollar bill, "Don't ruin your dinner, though."

"Thanks," Amelia said and led us into the building and then the snacks line. "So what do you want?"

"Get me Twizllers and Dr Pepper and I'll be good to go," I told her.

"Okay."

"I'll take popcorn and coke," Damien added.

"I didn't ask you."

Damien clenched his jaw and his eyes flashed, so I decided to intervene, "Amelia, the money is for _all_ of us."

She sighed, "Fine."

_I hope this isn't going to be the mood for the whole entire night._

Amelia bought the snacks, even Damien's, and we all piled into a row in the theater. I was relieved when I got to sit between mother and Damien and not near Amelia again. We chowed down on our snacks as the previews dragged on and on. Finally the movie began and I actually felt myself start to relax and enjoy it.

About halfway thru the movie my Dr Pepper suddenly hit me and I excused myself to the bathroom. I stood in the lobby and looked around, trying to remember where the bathroom was, when suddenly a hand touched my shoulder. I whirled around on my heel and sighed in relief when I saw it was Amelia.

"Crap, Amelia. Don't scare me like that."

"Sorry, I didn't intend to."

"What are you doing out here? I'll be back in just a minute. I just have to go to the restroom."

"I wanted to talk to you."

"What? We can talk later; you are going to miss the movie."

"It doesn't matter. I heard there's some massive sex scene about this time in the movie anyways and I don't really want to be sitting by mom and dad when that's playing."

"Poor Damien."

"Yeah…" she looked around awkwardly for a moment before looking me straight in the eye, "Phillip, what's going on with you?"

"Huh? What- what do you mean?" _Oh, fuck._

"What is going in that pretty blonde head of yours? You've been acting all strange. I saw you randomly running through the school today."

"What? How'd you see that?"

"I was leaving after my conference with the principal when I saw you booking it somewhere. You looked really upset. Are you being bullied or something?" _Oh, god… should I tell her about everything? _

_She'd probably get you committed, stupid. Do you want to end up in a mental institution?_

_Shit. You're back._

_Of course. Without me you'd ruin everything._

"Phillip?"

"Ah, no. I… I had forgotten my jacket in one of the classrooms and I was trying to hurry so I wouldn't miss the bus."

She gave me a skeptical look. "Okay… I have another question. What's up with that Damien kid?"

"What do you mean?"

"He's weird. There's something… I don't know. There's something that just bothers me about him. I just sense that there is something bigger going on with him."

"Well there is; his dad is an alcoholic and skipped town on him. He's trying to cope with it."

"It doesn't seem like that to me. It seems like something more. I think you should both start coming to the counselor's office and get some therapy with me. It'll help you both."

"What? Doesn't that seem like some conflict of interest? Isn't that against some kind of moral code for psychologist or something to do therapy with people they know?"

"Not really, though I see your point. But it's my job now to help the troubled kids at South Park High School now and you two are students there… unless you'd like me to tell mom to send you to a psychiatrist or something?"

"What? I- I don't need a psychiatrist or a psychologist or anything! I'm perfectly fine, and so is Damien," I started to walk towards the bathrooms but Amelia grabbed my arm.

"Phillip. I wouldn't tell you these things unless I absolutely thought it was the right thing to do. Phillip, I seriously think it will do you good to get help. It helped me. I started going when one of my professors suggested so and it made a world of difference." She looked at me with imploring puppy dog eyes and I almost let it slip for a second. She had the same expression that mom had whenever she was trying to get me or my sister to do something for her.

"I- I" _NO. DO IT AND THEY'LL PUT YOU IN A FUCKING PADDED ROOM._

_But…_

_Do you want everyone to know about Kenny? To know about your penchant for the penis? She's just trying to take advantage of your love for your real mother. She's the same sniveling brat that she's always been._

"No. I'm perfectly fine the way I am." I started to move away but she increased her grip on my arm. "Let go of me," I sneered at her.

"Phillip, how are you going to go and tell me you are 'perfectly fine' when I find things like what were in that paper sac in the bathroom?"

"What are you talking about?" I feigned innocence.

"You know perfectly well what I'm talking about."

"I can't say I do."

"I found a bloody towel, some razors, and some gauze and bandages in the bathroom. And then there's that wad of bandages and gauze on your arm. What am I supposed to think?"

"It's- It's nothing. You're making something out of nothing. Maybe you are the one who needs therapy." I tried to pull my arm free of her grasp, but she pulled me towards her.

"Let me see then!"

"Stop it!" She started to push the sleeve of my blazer up and I thrashed about, trying to free my arm from her grasp.

"Is everything okay here?"

We both whirled around only to see a movie theater worker standing behind us and tapping his foot. He was trying to look level headed and cool, but you could see the nervousness just under his surface. Arguing people certainly wasn't in the concession stand worker's job description.

"Just peachy because we are finished here," Amelia growled before taking off back towards the theater our family was in.

"Sorry," I whispered to him before walking to the bathroom.

I went in, did my business, and went back to the theater begrudgingly. Amelia was sitting in her seat when I came back. She looked pissed and glared at me when I sat down. I couldn't enjoy the movie at all anymore. All I could think about was how Amelia was going to try to get me committed or something. _I don't think it is possible for this day to get any worse. _The movie ended and we all got up to leave.

"So what'd you think about the movie? I loved it," Mother said as we walked to the car.

Damien, Amelia, and I all made noises that amounted to "meh".

Mother sighed, "What about you, Bertrand?"

"It was okay," Father replied.

"Well aren't you all just a bunch of party poopers?"

We got in and started driving towards Chez Merde. Amelia kept glaring over at me and Damien had a bored glaze over his eyes. I sighed.

"Do we _have _to eat French food? Can't we go somewhere else?"

"We already made the reservations. Plus that's were Amelia said she wanted to go. Remember what I told you earlier. You can pick when it's your turn."

I sighed. _Stupid fucking French people with their stupid fucking nasty ass food._ We pulled into the parking lot of the restaurant and went inside. Mother told them our reservation and we followed them further into the restaurant. It had a nice interior and everything, but I was still hung up on the fact it was French. I guess all the years of being taunted as "frenchie" and just the normal English pride jaded me towards their whole culture.

We were seated, me beside Amelia and across from Damien, and a waiter came over a few minutes later. I felt my face redden when I felt my eyes wonder over his body. His looks and body was almost comparable to Damien's. I looked over at everyone else and I wasn't the only one ogling our waiter. Amelia looked like she was going to drool on herself. _At least I can contain myself…_He was all smiles; obviously he was going to try to enact the flirting tactic for more tips.

"Bonjour, mesdames et messieurs. Welcome to Chez Merde," he handed us some menus, "What can I get you to drink? You, belle dame?" he directed towards Amelia.

She giggled and I rolled my eyes. _She doesn't even know how to speak French. _

_Neither do you._

_Shut up._

"And you, coq joli?"

"Dr Pepper," I managed to gush out. My face was on fire. _What the hell does coq joli mean? _The waiter left after taking the other's orders and I peered across the table at Damien. His eyebrows were sky high and he looked shocked.

"What?" I asked him.

"Do you speak French?"

"No?"

"Good," he nodded before looking down at the menu in his hands.

"Why?"

"Just… just trust me."

"Okay…?" _What the hells that supposed to mean? _I shook my head and tried to read the menu, but it was all in French. I sighed, "Why does the menu have to be in French?"

"Because it's a French restaurant," Amelia glared at me. I glared right back at her.

"Do you need help with it, chéri délicieux?" I jumped when the waiter appeared right next to us.

"Tha- that would be nice," I stuttered out. _Shit, I'm making an idiot out of myself._

_What do you mean 'making' an idiot?_

_Shut up, ass hole._

"What kind of food do you like, garçon de désir?"

"Anything without cat brains or snails."

"Ah, okay, chaud baisent."

He leaned over me from behind and put one hand on my shoulder near my neck and pointed at the menu with the other. If that wasn't enough he twirled my hair with one of the fingers he had on my shoulder. I couldn't pay one bit of attention to the things he was saying with him touching me like that. I just pretended to read the menu and nodded every now and then.

"But this, petite salope, is my absolute favorite. Would you like to try it?" He turned to me and gave a dazzling smile.

"S-sure," I stuttered out.

"Good choice, mon cible," he whispered as he stood straight.

I looked over at my family in embarrassment. Luckily, Mother and Father wasn't paying attention to me as they discussed what they wanted, but Amelia was a different story. She was staring poison tipped daggers at the waiter and me. I looked over at Damien as the waiter took orders from everyone else. He had a look of surprise, but a bit of a smirk sat there. _Great._

_Yeah, he's totally going to believe you aren't gay after that._

_Oh, shut up._

"Okay, everyone, your food should be out soon," he announced to us. He turned to me and smiled, "Do not worry, visage d'ange. I'm sure you shall love it." He winked at me before leaving towards the kitchen.

Mother and Amelia talked enthusiastically about her new job while I stared down at the white table cloth. I looked up at Damien and he had an amused smile painting his face.

"What?" I asked.

"The French have never been known to be subtle." He smirked when I blushed with a mixture of shame and embarrassment. "Aren't you lucky you don't know French, eh?"

"No... Now I can't know when the bastards are insulting me," I whispered.

"I don't really think he was insulting you, if you catch my drift."

"Whatever," I rolled my eyes before continuing to stare at the table.

About ten minutes later our waiter and another waiter came out with our food. The other waiter gave Mother, Father, and Amelia their food before running off. Our waiter handed Damien his and then laid mine in front of me.

"I hope you enjoy it, joues douces."

"Thanks."

"You are very welcome, beauté dormant."

He walked away and we all started to eat. I sighed in relief when what I bit into actually tasted good. _I thought all French food was disgusting like its people._

_Obviously you do not think Mr. Waiter there is disgusting._

_Shut it._

_You can't shut out the truth forever._

As we were finishing our dinner the waiter came back. He smiled at me the whole way and I felt my face turn into an inferno.

"So, are we ready for our check or would we like some desert, hein?"

"I think we are ready for our check, thank you," Mother answered.

"Alright, here you go, madam." He walked around the table and handed Mother the check. "I'll be back in a moment. Ah, but are you done with this, chiot joli?" He motioned towards my plate.

"Uh, yes."

"Then I shall take it," he said as he lifted the plate up.

As he walked away I noticed a small slip of paper on the table where my plate had been. I made sure no one was looking at me and then picked it up. On it was a set of numbers and the word 'Tristan' below it. _What? Wait…. What? Did… did he just give me his number?_ I literally felt my jaw drop. _This has never happened to me before._ I looked around and noticed Damien staring at me, intrigued. I ignored him and shoved the paper in my pocket, though I knew I could never call it.

_Too much of a pussy, eh?_

_I'm not a pussy. I'm just… not gay, so I don't want to go out with a guy._

_Pfffft, you are so in denial, fag. It's almost not fun to make fun of you for it anymore. Almost._

The waiter came back and took our check and Mother's money. He thanked us and winked at me before leaving. Damien kept smirking the whole way to the car and on the ride home every time I looked at him. Mother and Amelia enthused about the evening and Amelia's new job the whole way home. _How am I going to survive in school now with her watching me?_

We finally arrived home and I ran upstairs and to my room. I fell face first onto my bed and sighed. _It smells like Damien… _Suddenly, I felt something thud on the bed bedside me and then something hit my back.

"Owwww," my voice was muffled by the bed, but it was enough to make my attacker laugh.

"This has to be the lumpiest pillow I have ever laid on in my life," Damien jested.

"Ghettt oooofffff," I yelled into the bed.

"A talking pillow at that. This has to be the shittiest pillow ever."

"Uggghh," I yelled in futile. I tried to push myself up, and when I discovered I couldn't, I thrashed about.

"You're no fun," Damien sighed before sitting up.

I turned and sat upright on the bed, "How many times have I- Aghh!" Damien pounced on me and I felt him pulling at the top of my trousers. "Wha- what are you doing?"

"Ah-ha!" He pulled away and had the waiter's slip of paper in his hands.

"Hey! Give it back!" I tried to snatch it from his grubby hands, but he pushed me back and then stood up.

"Oh, so it was what I thought it was," he sneered as he looked at what was on the paper. "And here I thought little Pippy here was so innocent."

"S-shut up… It's nothing but trash," I blushed violently at his accusations.

"Your face says different, now and when we were at the restaurant."

"Shut up!" I ran across the room and snatched the paper out of his hand before throwing it in my garbage bin.

"The lady doth ___protest_ too much, methinks," he smirked.

"SHUT UP! I'm not a lady, secretly or otherwise, I'm not gay, and don't quote _Hamlet_. It makes you sound like even more of a pretentious asshole then you even are, if that's even possible."

Damien looked surprised , but in my rage I didn't care. I grabbed some pajamas, stormed off to the bathroom, and took a shower. When I got out I had calmed down, but I was still pissed at Damien for all the teasing. _I get enough of that at school. I don't need it at home too. _I looked at my arm and was alarmed to find it infected looking.

_What do you think dragging your dirty nails thru it in a nasty bathroom is going to do, retard?_

I grabbed some rubbing alcohol from under the sink and tried my best to clean it. I put fresh bandages on my arm and hoped for the best. I brushed my teeth and decided it was time for bed. I went back into my room to find Damien watching the television on my bed. I turned the light off and then turned the television off manually.

"What the-" Damien began to complain.

"I'm going to bed. I suggest you do the same." I got into my pretend bed and snuggled under the cover, hoping oblivion would come soon. I could feel the anger radiating off of Damien, but he didn't turn anything back on. I heard him shuffling around and soon was blinded by the light rolling out of the open door as Damien walked out. I could hear him mumbling under his breath and heard the words 'drama queen' roll out before he shut the door.

A.N.

I didn't get as far as I wanted in this chapter, but I figured it was freaking long enough and way past due. Lulz, last time I updated it was summer. Can't say I know when I'm going to update next. I've been very busy with school and anticpate the coming semester will be just as hard. Also added into the mix is some medical problems I've been having (which also drain my time and energy). If anyone ever wants to know why it's taking me so damn long to update, you can always look at my LJ. Links in the profile.

Now let me say this: I don't know French. Sorry if it is incorrect. I just used an online translator. Also, lulz at the translations. Mr. Waiter there was a naughty boy, haha.

Belle dame- beautiful lady

Mesdames et messieurs- ladies and gentlemen

coq joli- cute cock

chéri délicieux- delicious darling

garçon de désir- boy of desire

chaud baisent- hot fuck

petite salope- little slut

ma cible- my target

visage d'ange- angel face

joues douces- sweet cheeks

beauté dormant- sleeping beauty

chiot joli- cute puppy

Damien: "I hope they cannot see\The limitless potential\Living inside of me\To murder everything\I hope they cannot see\I am the great destroyer."

Pip: "I heard a puff, I heard a blow\I felt the ground, I felt the snow\I felt his measures and his weight\My own body as a scale\I heard a whisper in my ear\'You are not here, you are not here'" – "Kino" The Knife


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